ray3862's random writings of a restless soul

I've never been in love, I've only been in clubs...
Date: Oct 28th, 2010 9:09:58 pm - Subscribe
Mood: pensive
Today's Grade: A

Do you think that things really do ever work out when you really want something? I've wanted this so long, that I feel like I've become comfortable just living in my own imagination. Not content, but quite comfortable. It's a familiar place to dwell....a safe place.

Sometimes I feel like it won't happen because of how happy I'd be. Because I'm not supposed to be that happy. That sounds a lot more sad/angry than I want it to be, because it's not something I get upset about, it's just something I think about.

I think I'm too idealistic, but there's nothing else I'd rather be. I'm a real believer in life, love, hope, struggle, pain, tears, happiness, and joy. I believe with all my heart that there is so much to get out of life no matter what is happening.

But I want to experience this one thing. Because I think it will be the most exciting, worthwhile ride of my life.

I know there's a reason. There HAS to be a specific reason. I just hope this waiting pays off. It would be wonderful if it paid of sooner rather than later. But I know myself, and I'm not strong enough to go 100% for it. But I like what I'm doing now. And we'll see how that goes.

Just for the record, I DO really hope it works out this time...just want to make that clear, so maybe my keystrokes will reach God's ears haha
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