coffeed into dysphoric lucidity
Date: Apr 13th, 2008 10:58:28 pm - Subscribe
music: The Rolling Stones - "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
The omission that shines so brightly that it begs not to be given voice, but rather painted red with shame, the unsettling omission that lends an aspect of nullity to my existence, the freakish, jaundiced dementia that brooks no respite save in work and sleep, the defining aspect of all I am and will become. It bounds me. I am closed and bounded by a serpentine labyrinth of fear. Without hope, without solace, without love.
And the unsettling lie that birthed it all, the lie that haunts my nights, obfuscates my better motives with a sheen of apathetic hope, the lie that decimated my life with the apocalyptic efficacy of an atom bomb, leaving a shattered mind peopled with cannabilistic phantoms. In sorrow, I cannot escape it. In anger, I cannot forgive it. In the endless nights, where once the darkness hid more than has been dreamt of by gods or men, I see only the barrenness of my own soul.
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