Do your best and He will do the rest
Date: Jan 26th, 2005 8:50:29 pm - Subscribe
Winamp plays: nothing
Boy, it's unusual how you can feel so bad one moment and so good in the next. Not just another moment, but the very next one. And there's a lesson to be learned I figured, one that I always knew about but needed reminding of. Oh I wish I wasn't so forgetful, don't you?
Well let me tell you about it. It's nothing much really. I got my french test back today and I didn't want to look at it, neither did I want to see the teacher or have any eye contact with her as I stepped into the classroom, unlike other french classes. There was a lot of shame in me and I didn't want it to be seen by her, because I knew very well that I did not do well on my test at all. I didn't want to think about it, but it was something I had to accept. Now it's a fact - she expects more of me than any other student in the class, not because I'm special in anyway, but because she had taught me before, she had seen a lot of work that I've been doing and a lot that I'm capable of. Our relationship as teacher and student has really grown to really, as friends, even way before she had started substituting us. She not only cares about my marks, she cares about me because she knows me like no other teacher does.
So yes, I looked at my mark and wasn't surprised, because I deserved every single mark I got, and to ultimately lose every other. It really was the worst test I've ever did. Then I felt even worse and shame just kept on rushing through after, when she had to talk to me personally. Oh what I would've done to get out of it...but I had to face it. Then we talked again after school.
But after school was different. My mood had been nearly turned upside down and inside out, because I felt so good about my physics test I did just last block. This means something to me - it's an accomplishment, because I never understood physics until this 2nd time around (i've taken physics 11 in summer school before). And it's that sensation you get when you finally understand something you've always been struggling to find solution for. It's an accomplishment because I've finally proved to myself that by not slacking off like I did in the first term, I can really be successful. Not just in physics, but in anything.
And so, with this accomplishment in physics, and the failure in french, I've remembered one crucial thing. Life is full of failures, but these numbers cannot in any way be greater than those of successes. Failure is an important component of success, because through failure we learn to realize, acknowledge, and remember all that was forgotten.
It's really not worth the time and effort to dwell on those failures - at least I don't plan to moan and groan over my ugly mark for my french test, because it's really not necessary. Getting an undesired score on a test doesn't mean I'm going downhill for the rest of my life. Failures cannot make anybody A Failure if we learn to discover the lessons behind them.
And what do we do with those accomplishments? The success? Celebrate
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