a decade later?
Date: Jan 15th, 2018 11:14:40 am - Subscribe
Mood: stunned
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: surprised to still be here

I stumbled back across my old blog here. Read over a lot of posts and some even have comments dating close to the current date. Man was that an interesting read from a decade later. Maybe I'll update more at a later time about the change a decade makes...
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Something I can never have...
Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:54:28 pm - Subscribe
Mood: sentimental
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and the wants and haves of a life thats unreachable

This song fits my mood sometimes. Still in a good mood just a bit reminiscent. And this is the song for the times. Pretty Hate Machine by NIN is an awesome mood flowing cd. Maybe somehow I can change that something I can't have into something I can have. Only time will tell...

" I still recall
The taste of your tears
Echoing your voice
Just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you
Still wash ashore
Scraping through my head
'Till I don't want to sleep anymore

Come on tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make it all go away

I just want something
I just want something
I can never have
You always were the one
To show me how
Back then
I couldn't do the things
That I can do now
This thing
Is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color
If I had a heart

I just want something
I can never have
In this place
It seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now,
I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look
You're all I see
Just a fading fucking reminder
Of who I used to be

I just want something
I just want something
I can never have
I just want something
I can never have
Think I know what you meant
That night on my bed
Still picking at this scab"
-Nine Inch Nails "Something I can never have"

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March 20th revisted.
Date: Mar 20th, 2007 6:12:12 pm - Subscribe
Mood: uneasy
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and life sucks.

We are back again. A year since I posted my most important blog ever. And as stated before, we are back for the 9th year. This year was different than the last. I had a lot of changes in this year. So without further adieu, lets get this started. P.S. This blog will have lyrics mainly from Staind and Shinedown, some various other artists may appear.

"Your eyes tell the story of your pain. Severity of your disdain. In a world that doesn't care." - Staind "Reply"

This year I learned alot more people suffer through the hardships of life. How have I been so ignorant not to see that people around me are suffering. They are suffering just the same as me, but in different ways, for different reasons. Was I fool to not see this? Maybe, maybe not. People didn't know I was till I spoke out. So therefore people can not read minds. If you are in a hole, speak out. Someone will listen.

"Someone save me if you will and take away all these pills. And please just save me if you can, from the blasphemy in my wasteland." - Shinedown "Save Me"

I learned alot more people in life have or are taking anti-depression pills. Some far greater doses and some that quit taking it all together. Me, I will take mine till they are done. I don't want the end result for me to be a "happy go lucky person". I want them to get me back to me. A person happy with himself. If I can get back there, I will be very ecstatic.

"So where were you? When all this I was going through. You never took the time to ask me just what you could." - Staind "Fade"

I stand at a crossroad of manhood and boyhood. This relates not to my mom and sisters, nor my friends, but more my family. As a boy I held animosity towards my family because I felt they were not there. As a man I have restrained that feeling and I see things clearly. As a boy I would bitch about how you never call to check in on me. But as a man I see both sides. I never made an attempt to reach you, how would you know I needed you to reach me? I do not think me foolish, for I was just a child till now. For when I was a child, I spoke as though I were a child.

"I can't live in the past, and drown myself in memories." - Shinedown "In Memory"

I think what has started to be the thorn in my side, is my memory. I can remember what people say, but now all my memories of him are fading. I try to go back to see him in my mind... but alas its like in the movies where people are faded in pictures and you can't see them. I know he was there, but I can't picture it too well now. I have 2 photos I keep above my computer that reminds me of the trip to Canada. He is in the pictures, and that helps me remember what he looks like. I can remember his arm that wears the watch I do now, but his face is fading.

"How did I get here? And what went wrong? Couldn't handle forgiveness, now I'm far... beyond gone." - Shinedown "Save Me"

I buried the hatchet recently. I didn't want to face forgiveness for feeling as though I were a bad grandchild. But that was a time when I spoke as a child. I went and seen my grandparents from my dads side today. They were shocked to see me. I know this is true. They seem to be doing well. I do believe they took it quite hard, just as much as I. Maybe even harder. I remember one thing my grandpa said that has always stuck with me "Fathers shouldn't have to bury their sons." I agree, but then again thats a tough thing to say. I used to believe this whole-heartedly, but that too, was when I spoke as a child. It's not your decision who buries who. Who am I to wish to trade one for another? Just like me. I miss him alot, but I would not have traded myself for his life. He would not want that. I was young and still have a lot more living to do. Not saying he had done all his, but I know he wouldn't want me to say that.

"How bout a better version of me? The way I look, the way I speak. How bout a better version of me!" - Shinedown "Better Version"

After speaking to my grandpa, I realize there is a lot more shit in my life I have to do before I am even half the man my dad was. He got into a story with me about my dad and why he joined the navy, and how he came to obtain his job in the power plant. And all he wanted me to remember was that "Your dad was sharp. He had a mind of his own. He could entertain himself if given the chance." and he also told me "Your mom said that anytime I needed something done around the house... I tried not to always ask him, but your dad was always trying to get time off to come help." I am not the smartest man in the world. I do think I have a bit of his intellect though. And I wish I was more of a go-to person like he was. My other grandpa felt the same way about my dad. My dad always helped both my grandparents when they asked, and he never complained about it. In fact I think he loved it. I didn't get much time with my dad, but looking back now, I see everything they say is true.

"I feel like there is no need for, conversation. Some questions are better left without a reason." - Shinedown "Burning Bright"

Me and my grandparents don't say much. But it was nice to see them again. Both sets of grandparents took care of me when I was young. I used to play used car salesman with my dad's dad. I would go over there with my matchbox cars and play those with him, and we would bargain and what not. Thats one of my fondest memories of my childhood. The trips out into the woods in the truck, and then to the "haunted farm house". My cousins know about that lol.

"Everything changes if I could, turn back the years." - Staind "Everything Changes"

Yea I don't live with regret, but if I could turn back the time, I would have stayed in more contact with that side of my family. I alienated myself from all my relatives, except my immediate family. I don't know if it was because of my childish fears or the thoughts of them hurting by seeing me. It makes you think that kind of stuff when you grandparents and his brothers and sisters say "He looks alot like Chris". I felt a bit like that was causing them some pain. But now I see, that maybe it was a comfort to them to see me.

"Down in a hole. No self control. Feeling so small. I'd like to fly but my wings have been so denied." - Alice In Chains "Down In A Hole"

Today always puts me in a rut. I only worked a half day today. I had taken some sleeping pills I was prescribed 2 months ago last night. And they were making me feel shitty at work today, plus I wanted to see my grandparents and go see the gravesite.

"Falling is easy. It's getting back up that becomes the problem. If you can't believe you can find your way out, you've become the problem." - Staind "Falling"

Falling into this consistant mudhole is my problem. I know today has put me in a rut that I will get a bit up the hill afterwards and slide back into again eventually. I am close to believing I can get out of it. I'm not giving up on it. It's always darkest just before dawn. If I can survive the night, I can basque in the day.

"Have you ever felt lost inside, so unloved within that you almost died. Have you ever stepped out of the light and realized, theres a stranger inside." - Shinedown "Stranger Inside"

I fit both of those statements. I don't feel like I love myself like I should. Like right now I am drinking some whiskey while I type this. I know thats not good to do, and it's bad for me, but whats wrong with crutching yourself one day a year? I have stepped out of the light and I know there is someone in me I don't like much. Its the extremist. It swung me from being unselfish, to selfish in .002 seconds. I don't like the guy thats living within me. He is a fool. He won't be staying much longer. I think I have remembered who "me" is. But first...

"All my faith is gone. You think I couldn't find it. Pieces falling down shattered, nothing behind it. In my mind alone, lost here I'm separated. Crawl deeper in my hole, safe here from what I hated" - Staind "A Flat" (My All time favorite song possibly)

My religion seems to be coming back a bit. I am going to stop saying "GD" from now on. If I do say it, I will slap myself. I have both a St. Christopher and St. Michael necklace. I do believe in them though I am not devout Catholic. But it is faith in something, and what better than watchful guardians deemed from Jesus himself? I am not going to become a recluse, but I am going to start keeping things to myself a bit more, a bit more protective of my feelings. Because when you put everything out there on a line of fishing wire, the line can break. Thats not to say I'm not going to tell someone when I do slip back into a deep depression, just I am going to stop throwing everything into the wind for people to take a swing at.

"And I'm staring down the barrel of a .45." - Shinedown ".45"

Been there before (figuratively) not going back there again. That place sucks. Thats not me. I am by nature cynical, sarcastic, humorous, anxious, and various other things. Those are not defining of depression. I can be those things again, which is the Justin I was comfortable with and others were in agreement with.

"In some ways, I failed you. But I just ran out of time" - Shinedown "Someday"

I have failed some people with some of things I have said and done, but I don't think I have ran out of time yet. And if there is a time limit, I am sorry if I didn't make the cut. Jessica I am sorry for not being quite as understanding of your situation as I should have been. Again I spoke that day as though I were a child. I should be more mindful of my friends and their problems. I know I was a bit outlandish sometimes. I was there for some, but not there for others. Some were there for me, and others were not. Unfortunately I was not there for the ones that were there for me.

"So I speak to you in riddles. Cause my words get in my way. Smoke the whole thing to my head, and feel it wash away. Cause I can't take anymore of this, I want to come apart" - Staind "Epiphany"

Alot of what comes out of my mouth makes no sense to some people. But know this, its a convoluted message I'm giving you sometimes because I can't find the proper way to express it. I think sometimes I am just going to let it drift to the back of my mind and have that clear it out. I can't take the weird looks people give me sometimes after I say something in that state.

"I dare you to tell me to walk through fire. Grab my soul and call me a liar. I dare you to tell me. I dare you to!" - Shinedown "I Dare You"

I dare someone to say I haven't been through anything in my life. Or to elaborate why I have. Anyone who has been through hardships (which should be damn near everyone) should stand up in this way. No one should ever make you define why you think something is bad. If you have the conviction for it, you shouldn't have to explain it. However if you come off flighty, you obviously don't know.

"You. Understand my pain. From this I gather strength. That we are the same. So thank you for, the letters that you thought you wrote... in vain. And for... the times you chose to stand out in the rain and wait... The life I live would never be the same without...you here" - Staind "Reply"

To say nobody understands what I am going through is both a fact and fiction. No one will ever go through a situation like you do, but at the same time they have been in a situation similar to yours in their own way... we all have. And I want to thank everyone who gave me insight to their hardships. It was well worth knowing how you got out of your rut. I may or may not ever get out of mine, but if I can get back to being who I was before everything started happening... I will be a happy person. Again thank you to everyone.

Peace, love, and the pursuit of happiness...


Comments: (0)

Philosophical Revelation.
Date: Mar 7th, 2007 12:42:35 pm - Subscribe
Mood: bootylicious
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and life in its own form.

Why do we live? I mean really. Why do we live? We were chosen to live. Like a lottery before being born was played. And we were picked to be born. Why? What for? There are no winners in life. We don't get out of life alive. We all have the same result...death.

Stalin, and dorothy from gundam wing, said it best, "One should not fear death. Death is merely the end result given to you at the time of your birth. The death of one is a tragedy, but the death of many is a statistic". The people who have a hard time grasping the fact that all life dies, have never experienced death.

People worry about death because they feel they did not live life to the fullest. Yes you did. Your life was a rat race to nothingness. An episode of reality t.v. all in futility. A radio broadcast on an empty station. You hear people discuss how "Before I die I want to see such-and-such". Why? Your memory will not carry on with you when you are gone.

No one will care if you saw it, nor will you be around to argue with them about this. So I ask again "Why do we live?" I like to think there was life before I was born. As in there are people alive that will never be born. We managed to be born. We will reproduce more of the chosen ones to live, and so on and so on. All we do in life is bring more life into this world, and attempt to impart knowledge upon them. That more than likely they will not follow.

The human race is in fact a dying breed. Well not necessarily dying out, but a race with no true future. Immortality will never occur. All we can do is prolong this life. Again I ask Why? What you do will not alter the future for anything but a time. Time is something we do not have much of. I also like to think that we only make improvements in life so it won't be so hard for people to get to death. Advancements in medicine just so we can be healthy enough to die of old age. So I leave you with the question for you to answer... "Why do we live?" or maybe its "Why do we struggle in vain?"
Comments: (4)

They and That, Them and this.
Date: Mar 6th, 2007 10:24:20 am - Subscribe
Mood: cherished
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and an allegory of sorts.

I give up with them. Them. They. Whoever I thought they are. They are the same as them. They were them who I once thought were they. But I found out they are actually them. Them? you who ask who they are. Not they. I do not like them. They were just figments of my inner thoughts. Them are real. I wish them would stop being hypocritical. They don't know how to stop them, nor do I. I don't know what them want. They are those I like. Them are those I do not. They are becoming them. They always turn into them. Everyone is them...it seems. Never will them become they again.

I wouldn't mind having that. But I am stuck with this. This sucks. Thats great. This is hell. That is a far better thing than this. This can can only get better. That is what better is. I don't care for this. I only want that. I can't have that, instead I am stuck with this. And this purely sucks.

They want me to have that. This is all I am receiving from them. They don't like this one bit. That is them being afraid of me losing this. I am comfortable with this, but I wouldn't mind experiencing that which they have to offer. What happens if I let them go and get rid of this? Do they come to me with that? No. They are weaker than them, but that is stronger than this. How does it happen?

Blowing them out of my mind seems the option to stop this. Opening the door so they can bring that in, is step 2. It all comes down to me so they can stop them, eliminate this for that. Does everyone else battle them? Or have you always been on the side of they?

Comments: (3)

Rock music and why its bleeding.
Date: Mar 5th, 2007 1:48:41 pm - Subscribe
Mood: changed
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and rocking out!

So I got to thinking about rock music again today, yesterday, well I guess the other day. I think I have an idea as what the problem with rock music is today...Visuals. Rock, Metal, Hard Rock, Emo Rock, Punk Rock, all rock, is leaning over to trying to visually impress the audience.

For example Slipknot. Some of you don't care for them but you like Stone Sour which I totally find hilarious, as it is pretty much the same band. When they first came on the scene they all wore masks, walked around wtih baseball bats, spike chains, and various other things. I couldn't take them seriously to be honest. Recently they have removed the masks. Which now I can stomach seeing them on tv. The thing is, I was so caught up in their visual style (which I hated), that I did not pay attention to the content of their lyrics.

Yes Slipknot does yell alot, but looking past that; if you read their lyrics or listen to them in depth, they are actually a pretty awesome band with great song writing for the most part (remember "Through The Glass" and "Bother" which are songs by Stone Sour, but the lead singer for SS is also Slipknots lead singer), you can't deny the guy has a great voice.

Then we have one of my favorites, Mudvayne. They first hit the scene wearing paint all over their faces, not to mention the names (I don't know who comes up with names for band members, but its ridiculous). They yell alot too. However when you read their lyrics, you see alot of what they are saying.

I'm a huge fan of 90's music honestly. Tool, Sublime, Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, etc. And my point is this. None of those bands had a visual gimmick besides the fact that some dressed grungy... because they were considered grunge rock. Take for instance the band Tool.

Great sound, make absolutely beautiful music. Lyrics are very in-depth. Alot of their songs are about flaws in Society. Schizm, the failure of communication. Vicarious, humans nature to be attracted to tragedy. The Pot, usage of narcotics and the finger pointings. The point being, the lyrics make sense, have a meaning of sense, and they avoid flashy visuals.

Rage Against the Machine... Shouldn't have to say anything here, but I will. Tom F'in Morello. Quite possibly one of the best guitarist of our time, right there with Jack White of the White Stripes. Audioslave and RAtM have both broken up but Tommy boy can get another band if he so chooses and continue on his merry way. But back to RAtM. They didn't have masks, face paint, etc... Instead they had lyrics and an outstanding sound. You may disagree with what they stood for, but the fact remains that they were at least meaningful in what they sang.

And you ask me around when rock music started bleeding? I would be bold enough to say Nirvana started killing rock. Kurt came along at just the right time, he inspired an audience of people who just loved hearing something made up of non-sense. Teen Spirit is the one song I can place the finger on at the moment that is proof. Kurt himself said that the song had no meaning or any linking to the words. You can tell. A mosquito, my libido...wtf? That was when we all learned, that anyone could grab a guitar, scribble down some lyrics, learn 2-3 chords, wail on the guitar, sing horribly into the mic, cut a record, make a few thousands.

I like classic rock, but I don't idolize like all these other rock buffs. I could care less for Hendrix honestly, ok sure he could play, as could Clapton... but you know what. Their time has passed. They are music of generations before my time. I prefer to find the bands of our generation. Floyd is not my generation. Led Zeppelin, yep you guessed it, not ours. The Beatles, however great you think they are, are not in our generation.

Classic Rock is good don't get me wrong. But I don't see me sanctifying music that is 40 years old. Thats not me. I am 21 years old. I grew up on Live, Pearl Jam, A.I.C., Linkin Park, Disturbed, Breaking Benjamin, Korn, Limp Bizkit, RAtM, and up. I want to have some 40 years from now saying the exact same thing I am about the bands of our time. I want to turn the classic rock station on in 30 years and hear some of these bands that I enjoy.

I know we have nothing truly spectacular in our time, like Stairway to Heaven, but me personally, I grow tired of classic rock like the flu. And there is a much larger variety out today. I beg to differ when someone says all bands these days are just going for quantity not quality. Of the bands I listen to of now-a-days music, Breaking Benjamin - all most all 3 cds are awesome in their whole. Staind - I could listen to Dysfunction and Break the Cycle all day. Disturbed - anyone have a 3 disc cd changer? I could go on and on.

I'm not downing Classic Rock, nor am I protesting all the bands that are about a visual gimmick... just saying the music we have right now, is not horrible; its just that the market is flooded right now with so much rock. Thus why we won't have any super huge selling bands. Alot of the song writers are great overall, and the music is on par right now... regardless whether or not they use a distortion pedal. Its not who is better because of what they do with less equipment (look at Jack White, arguably one of the best ever, he doesn't use a dist pedal. In fact he tuned down his guitar big time to do 7 Nation Army.) Sometimes the more equipment you have the tougher it can be.

Thats my 2 cents on the world of music for the day. Flame it, enjoy it, whatever.

-=No Current Sig=-

Comments: (2)

Song Analysis: Tool "Vicarious"
Date: Mar 2nd, 2007 2:06:18 pm - Subscribe
Mood: vicious
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: whilst Vicariously watching the whole world die.

Ok this song stresses alot of reasons why media is a downfall. Tool totally nails alot of my views of the media with this. It is Tool's "Vicarious". Here ya go!

"I own the tv
Cause tragedy thrills me
Whatever flavor it happens to be like
Killed by the husband
Drowned by the ocean
Shot by his own son he used to poison"
--This verse is the truth. Humans love tragedy. We watch movies with killings, death, mayhem, etc. Especially the news. We will sit glued to the tv as long as the news is bad. No matter what it is.--

"And in his dream
He kissed him goodbye
That's my kind of story
It's no fun 'til someone dies"
--He's right movies, and what not are horrible unless someone dies. The movie sucked if someone didn't die.--

"Don't look me at like I am a monster
Frown out your one face
But with the other
Stare like a junkie into the TV
Stare like a zombie"
--Don't look at me like I am monster... He is saying that, your thinking it, he's saying it. You know it to be true. No matter how much you want to deny it, we love violence and what not. We will stare at the tv with baited breath to see what we can find on it.--

"While the mother holds her child
Watches him die
Hands to the sky crying
Why, oh why?"
--Just a show of what kind of tragedy we enjoy seeing on the tv. Nothing too abnormal--

"Cause I need to watch things die
From a distance
Vicariously I live while the whole world dies
You all need it too, don't lie"
--Here is the honest truth lol. We love to watch tragedy as long as its not ours. We experience it second hand (definition of vicarious) while others suffer. And he tells you to not deny that you too love watching tragedy.--

"Why can't we just admit it?
Why can't we just admit it?
We won't give pause until the blood is flowing
Neither the brave nor bold
Were writers the stories told
We won't give pause until the blood is flowing"
--We can't admit it out loud how much we actually do like the violence. We only stop when the blood is pouring. It's very true--

"I need to watch things die
From a good safe distance
Vicariously I live while the whole world dies
You all feel the same, so"
--Chorus again--

"Why can't we just admit it?
Blood like rain come down
Drawn by grave and mound"
--Another description of how much we are attracted to tragedy--

"Part vampire
Part warrior
Carnivore and voyeur
Still have the transmitter
Sink to the death rattle"
--Vampire in the fact we love death and blood. Warrior in the fact that we fight to find something that makes us feel more like a vampire. The transmitter is the remote.--

"La, la, la, la, la, la-la-lie"
--just sing along with this one =)--

"Credulous at best
Your desire to believe in
Angels in the hearts of men
But pull your head on out
Your head please
And give a listen
Shouldn't have to say it all again"
--This line is pretty much just a slap in the face for reality to sink in. Everyone wants to believe that there is all good in some people. Tool says Bullshit. Pull your head out your ass, and take a look and view all the violence. Think about how we stare at the tv for anything graphic!--

"The universe is hostile, so impersonal
Devour to survive so it is,
So it's always been"
--The universe is survival of the fittest. Kill or be killed. The law of the universe right there.--

"We all feed on tragedy
It's like blood to a vampire"
--Our day is not full unless we have consumed some form of death, decay, torture, punishment, etc.--

"Vicariously I...
Live while the whole world dies
Much better you, than I"

--There ya go. Vicarious by Tool. A very kick ass song. Lots of meaning in what they sing usually. Expect more lyrical analysis from them soon.--

Comments: (4)

"Southern Belles In London Sing" - The Faint
Date: Feb 27th, 2007 6:06:03 pm - Subscribe
Mood: energized
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and a slight Faint

A break from the hard rock lyrics for a moment to write about this song. I totally adore this song. It has the most plays on my ipod at about 23 plays. Its awesome and it sounds like a story, kinda like a really great anime theme song. Great beat, and the lyrics move so well. Here ya go... "Southern Belles In London Sing" - The Faint:

(there is truly no chorus in this song, its really one long verse.)
Part 1(the only way I can break it down):
" Scarlet boots, the kiss of death
Patience and the end of it
Blended angels, whispered love
Countdown til it's gone, for long
Velvet voices, haunting slow
Darkened nooks, with bright decor
Georgian femmes are gone for weeks
Southern Belles in London Sing"

--Great descriptions in this part. Scarlet boots, obviously a description of a female and I imagine one wearing red boots to at least the knee, maybe a skirt thats black. And she is one hell of a kisser, i.e. the kiss of death. I get the feeling we havent seen each other in a while and that patience is wearing thin but we will see each other soon. Blended angels are helping us get back together again, and whispered love is the feeling in the air. Countdown till its gone for long is the distance and the patience of waiting. Her voice must be very nice as well like velvet, and its a haunting tone at how wonderful it is. It's dreary because she isn't here thus why the nooks are dark but still hold bright decor, possibly a reference to the near future shining. The final 2 lines will be discussed in part 4..--

Part 2:
"I'm staring down the Eppley gate
Two more days before the plane arrives-
And you'll be standing here with your smile
Carving up the lobby seats
Pushing down the caffeine drinks
Checking the arrival screens for yours"

--Ah so now the patience comes to an end. Waiting at the airport for this countdown to end. Very soon she will be here smiling, but whilst I wait I am fidgety. I'm destroying seats, drinking energy drinks like sobe, and constantly checking the arrival screens, to see how much longer till you are here.--

Part 3:
"A hundred feet above the landing
There's a girl gliding down
She's floating toward me now
Her sleeves are all stretching out
And the jet is following behind"

--And now the girl is almost landing and it seems so close that she isn't even in the plane. Instead she is flying down read to give ya a great big hug, the kind where you haven't seen someone in so long that you just kind of hug and hug, and continue to hug. And then theres the jet reminding you that its just your imagination.--

"Wake up"

--Stop the mind tricks, she isn't off the jet yet--

Part 4 (Finale):
"London skids a grinding halt
Last night left to spend apart
Your bags are packed by now for home
Stories of the tour unfold
Booking Agents
Broken Nose
Butting heads with creeping dolts
Georgian Femmes are gone for weeks
Southern Belles in London Sing"

--This one is a bit more interesting. To me it sounds like a discussion of the trip. With the thought coming from the final night they were apart. The bags get packed the night before. And my semi-proof is right there with "Stories of the tour unfold". Seems someone might be someone in show business. Booking Agents hasseling them, a broken nose from a bar fight maybe? Butting heads with dolts is one way to get a nose broken quick. And now you see why I waited to explain the final 2 lines in part 1. The final 2 lines assure me that the lady in the scarlet boots is a singer, from Georgia. Which makes her a Southern Belle. And she is gone for weeks on tour in London. And in London she was still a southern belle but she is singing.--

"Southern Belles in London Sing"

-Thank you for reading it was fun happy.gif Hope you enjoy the song. I recommend downloading it if you can find it... or hell just buy all 3 Faint cds.

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10,000 Fists Track 12: "Sacred Lie"
Date: Feb 26th, 2007 2:06:17 pm - Subscribe
Mood: demonic
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and a band known as Disturbed.

This song is more of a fight versus the government. Its "Sacred Lie" Track 12.

Verse 1:
"My conviction is stronger today
As I fight to uncover your sacred lie
And the fear isn't going away
As the soldiers still die
Let your followers know their lives have been sold
For the good of your sacred lie
For the truth to be told
And the plan to unfold
We must start asking why"

--This song is no doubt about either A) the government or B) George W. Bush Jr. only. There is no one else I can think of when I hear this song. Seems Disturbed is on a mission to uncover the flaws within A or B. Also Known as the Sacred Lie. He is saying that soldiers are dying for a cause no one knows, and that they have sold their lives for A or B's cause. Then he says the only way to get the truth out is to ask the question "WHY?"--

"Don't you know the war is far from over now
What a stumbling block we've fallen over now
As our brothers die defending no one
The war is far from over now"

--David D. seems to think he has discovered that the war is not about defending a nation. It is over something else, that we currently do not know. And he assures us the war is not even close to ending.--

Verse 2:
"Liberation, a moral charade
For the cause is a part of your sacred lie
Damnation a moment away in all the world's eyes
It's the doom of us all
We give in to control for the sake of your sacred lie
Complications abound
You'll get used to the sound of alarms in your life"

--Again we are assured that defense and freedom is not the true goal. Liberation a moral charade, or a farce if you will per the singer, is a just a small act in the grand scheme. Many people say the war is going to the downfall of us, and we are sacrificing our will power to assist the lie.--


"Give us a moment of peace in our lifetime [x7]
Give us a moment of peace right now"

--He has finally had enough and he is demanding peace... at first he just wants peace in our lifetime. But the last line, changes dramatically with one word, "NOW".--

Chorus (x2)

****This is one of Disturbed's more straight-forward songs. You don't have to really pick this one apart to find whats going on. They are not anti-war it seems, just they want the truth to come out of the mouth of the government officials, so people don't die in vain for a cause thats unclear******

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10,000 Fists Track 13: "Pain Redefined"
Date: Feb 26th, 2007 12:35:34 pm - Subscribe
Mood: subdued
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and a band known as Disturbed.

Not going to give too much of a header from here on out until the last song of a cd. But here ya go "Pain Redefined":

Verse 1:
"Fading, falling, lost in forever
Will I find a way to keep it together?
Am I strong enough to last through the weather in the hurricane of my life?
Can it be a conscious decision?
That I look for ways to alter my vision?
Am I speeding towards another collision in the alleyways of my life?"

--Everyone's thought process in a time of turmoil. You question your self-strength, motivation, and desire to fight. Am I strong enough to survive my own life? Will I make the choice, or some other being? Do I need to change my perception? Am I about to train wreck again? Its all normal thinking for a human.--

Bridge (x2):
"Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Those who have fallen in"

--Memories do no lie. In fact they are probably the only truths you have. And one with a memory will know better than one without a memory. Simple fact.--

"Please believe me
That my eyes deceive me?
Don't stand me up
Just leave me
I have fallen again
This is the end
Pain redefined"

--In the chorus we learn we are not strong enough to handle the drama within our life. We find our way back to pain. We fall down, and wish for no one to stand us back up. Our eyes have wronged us once again.--

Verse 2:
"Shaking, burning up with the fever
In the realm of pain, I am the deceiver
Now I lie to myself, so I can believe her
As she dissembles my life
I cannot dispel the illusion
All my hopes and dreams are drowned by confusion
Can I find a way to make a solution that will reconfigure my life?"

--Tis true. In the world of pain you are teh deceiver. You want to believe something so you modify your thinking process and "lie" to yourself to make it real. Someone breaks you down, you believe them, or resist the temptation to believe them and fall into denial. Confusion clouds everything. It makes it hard to see what your goal or prize is. And then the question comes up again. Can I find what needs to be done to fix all this?--

Bridge (x2)


"And I know that stillness shatters
We have all been frightened by the
The sound of footsteps on the pavement of our lives
I stand and fight
I'm not afraid to die
Elochai, bury me tonight"

--Disturbed is wonderful for the refrains. Some of their best lyrics are found in these little nooks, and this is one. Stilness shatters, yes. The calm will at some point break. The next two lines indicate that everyone is afraid of people hitting the road and leaving them. The pavement of our lives is metaphorical in the sense it is the path people take when they walk out of your life. But he is not letting someone go this time, he will stand up and die for a cause. Elochai (my God), bury me tonight.--


Thats "Pain Redefined" Track 13 from the 10,000 Fists Cd.

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