revelation's Blog

One day...
Date: Feb 20th, 2007 9:33:58 pm - Subscribe
Mood: exuberant
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and Raging Against the Fucking Machine

One day we are going to wake up and see things for what they really are. Everything in the world around us will make sense, and be perfectly clear. We won't like what we see, but we will have the time to correct it.

One day we are going to not be hypnotized by everything we see or hear on the T.V. The media will be forced to show us the truth about everything. We will see both sides to every story. We won't wait on ends for the morning paper to start our day. We won't watch the news every time it comes on to see what is happening in places that do not pertain to us.

One day we are going to elect people into government that are worthwhile. Show me an honest politician. Then find me an honest man. Then you will see the difference. Why are the rich the ones holding office? Why aren't the grunts ever elected into office? I would rather have a middle class president, that worked the factory jobs, earned every penny he has, and knows what its like not to have the world given to him at birth. A person who has been in the trenches and seen what the world is really like.

One day we will know why we are truly fighting a war in a foreign country. Is it oil? Is it vengeance? Is it the liberation of the people in the foreign country? Is it God's will? This way it won't feel like we are losing brave men and women everyday for a cause thats not understood.

One day we will know why other countries hate us so much. We won't have to question why North Korea is doing nuclear arms testing. Why there was ever truly a problem with communism. Why others hate to see us the number 1 military power.

One day we will stop glamourizing every thing that is said to be perfect. We will find the perfections in everything around us, and then find the imperfections in that thing as well. We will no longer strive to be something we are not. We will be who we were born to be.

One day we will learn that sometimes its best to tend with issues at home before muddling in the affairs of foreign homes. We will decrease the crime rate, the murders, the poverty, the depression of the country, and increase our standard of living, our level of education, and assist our fellow humans in their time of need. We have enough problems at home that need to be fixed, before we go fixing other homes.

One day we will humble ourselves. We will stop being self-righteous and flaunting what we have that others do not. We won't rank people based on what they own. We won't be jealous that others have what we don't. We will be content with what we have. Our lives won't be based on what we see on People magazine. We will stop giving the Hollywood Attention Whores all this media representation. They will feel what it is like to be normal humans.

One day we will prize our immaterial objects over the materialistic things. Money won't rule the world. Cars will not be the object of desire. Gold chains won't make us more wealthy. We will value the virtues of living over all things, such as patience, love, kindness, generousity, etc..

One day people in management will be the lowest paying jobs. We will have an over-abundance of managers, CEO's, supervisors, and what not in the near future. Garbage collectors, janitors, cleaning crews, maintnance workers, etc... will be the most sought after people.

One day we will realize that our time off of work is more precious than anything. We won't wake up every morning and think of making money. We will value every second we aren't making money as though we were. The law of diminshing returns. While overtime is good, you actually lose. You lose valuable time that you could be enjoying life for what it is.

One day we will all make a stand for what we truly believe. And we will hold fast to that belief. We will stand up for ourselves, make people realize the wrongs and rights, and teach people that everyone is human. People will see people as what makes them who they are, regardless of race, gender, age, wealth, poverty, and so forth.

One day we will be heard. We will not go not silently into that good dark night. We will make a stand, and force them to hear us. We will change the world. Not as one, but as a whole acting as one. We will defy what was said could never exist.

One day...
Comments: (5)

Cynical Cyanide Ver 1.0
Date: Feb 19th, 2007 9:17:20 pm - Subscribe
Mood: energized


Ok. Time to rant again. People get upset when other countries talk down to America. And I am getting a clue as to why.

A lady dies and she is on the news every fucking day. A famous woman yes. A lady with a lot of past media hype over a marriage to a wealthy man. A lady who "loved" him not his money but fought so hard to get his money post death. A lady who's son died just recently and is buried in the bahamas. American media glorifies this woman.

This lady was also a playboy bunny. She also had methodone and slim fast in her fridge. This ladies body is being preserved whilst a legal battle ensues on where to bury her. And yet the American Media is glorifying this lady more than Mother Teresa. Of all the things above, name one thing this lady did that was morally or ethically right. The list is short. Yet the media chooses to glorify her.

Crack heads die every day. Gang violence takes a life every day. Drunk drivers kill someone every day. Poverty kills people all the time. Yet we don't want to hear that. We are so hell bent on seeing a famous person die, yet we forget about all the "non-important" people in the world that die from everyday things.

You know this sounds cynical of me to say. But karma and irony are a twisted pair of bitches. I say since she loved the old man so much, that we bury her ass right beside him. Talk about karma. I'm not saying she wasn't human... but I am saying that the media needs to stop glorifying this lady.

Pretty soon we will remember her as Mother Anna Nicole. Sometimes I feel like Anna's death is more hyped than Princess Di's. I know I am wrong. But lets compare. Princess Di was offed by someone. Anna Nicole was a victim of her own vices. Botox (botcholism toxin (sp?)) can't be safe. Think about nuclear arms. Yea yea its all safe and good, then we learn years later what radioactive fall out does. Then you have mcdonalds. Yea the food is fast, convenient and everyone thought it was healthy. Now we have people getting obese and they are pissed.

Do you really think putting a needle in your forehead full of botox is safe??? Are we that ignorant and strive for perfection that we will do stupid shit? We just keep stacking more and more crap on us to the point where cancer is a negligent, instead we have methodone and slim fast to get us through the day. We are funding a war in Iraq right now, and all the homeland can think about is Anna Nicoles death.

There will be a huge investigation, years of legal battles and what not. Anna may never be buried, instead she will be put in a tube right beside Walt Disney till we learn the dark arts of how to bring back a person from death. Don't even get me started on O.J...wait to hell with that. We are going there. How many people actually thought he would be found guilty? If you did you were blind as fuck! We all knew OJ wasn't going to jail.

Johnny Cochran just had to say, "It's Juice guys, we know he did it but he didn't." And Ito and jury are easily swayed. So the media is all over this. Yet we have killers getting off guilty charges everyday... and no one cares. Until its OJ, Ray Lewis, Ray Caruth, Anna Nicole, and so forth. Anna Nicole will be the JFK of my generation. We will ponder for years how she died, and whether or not there is some massive conspiracy. I'm tired of watching documentaries on fucking JFK. He was no saint either. Sure he did some good things... but he had his share of dirty laundry.

Yet we will fund research to find out what actually happened to JFK. Maybe the government did, maybe fidel did, hell maybe it was a lone gunman. The truth about these matters is not what the media tells you. Thats what I am getting at. We have all seen JFK. We all know the "Magic Bullet" theory. If you want to believe a bullet can do that much damage go right ahead. But please can we stop showing documentaries on it. And I hope I wake up in the morning and the news says "Today in the news Anna Nicole Smith was buried beside her money bags old man she loved but didn't love".

That way America can move on. Stop glorifying what is ethically and morally wrong. Make the news worthwhile. But what can I say... American Media is fueled by the lifestyles of the rich and famous. The way they get away with things us non-famous people couldn't imagine. And lastly I leave you on this note. I DON'T CARE IF BRITTANY SPEARS HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN. I have one every few months and the media doesn't film me in that time.

Yet a famous person breaks down, shaves her head, gets a tattoo, and we are all over it. We will go out, buy the latest tabloid, indulge it, and talk for weeks about it... Until the next famous person decides to leave the one he loves to marry a lady who is adopting every kid in sight. Why do we thrive off of the rich and famous? Do we like to see how money doesn't buy happiness? I guess thats why I find this delightful. I see all these rich people, and they are all whining and complaining, and I LOVE IT.

Ok I am off my soap box now. I hope this offends someone or someone agrees with me. And heres to the media. To hell with you. Take one day of not producing any coverage of anna nicole and watch what happens. I promise you there will be chaos in the streets. Then you can film that.

Peace out!
Comments: (2)

Dreams In Red: Chapter 3
Date: Feb 18th, 2007 11:19:24 pm - Subscribe
Mood: divine


I think it started here. I'm not sure. As a child I had never kept anyone really close to me. Call it poor parenting. When your parents show little to no affection, you don't allow anyone to get close to you. The other children didn't hold hatred against me for being mean or anything. It was more of an intense animosity for not joining them in whatever activity they were doing.

I just enjoyed being alone. It was comforting. It was quiet. It was so necessary. They could not accept this. I wasn't going to try to make them understand this either. My eyes into the world opened very quickly. In the streets I lived on I had witnessed so much stuff. From murder to rape, theft to brawls, drugs to gambling. Everything that was deemed by society as evil.

It wasn't until the violence found me that I knew what I would need to do. I remember it very clearly. Yes this was definitely the day I began my journey. I was walking down a back alley a boy of 12. I was jumping in water puddles. And then suddenly I was laying in a water puddle. Blood was seeping out of the back of my head, and the puddle was slowly becoming a red tint. It took a moment to register what had happened. But I knew what was going on.

The violence found me. I rolled over to get a glimpse at the attacker. Shit the kid was at least 15 and a lot bigger than me. I knew I had my work cut out for me. I scampered to my feet, but my ears had started to ring a little. And there was a right hook buried into my jaw. I reeled back. Didn't even pull my hands up to defend myself. And there was the gut shot. I doubled over, air rushed from my lungs. So this is what all those victims I had stood by and watched for years felt...

I dropped to my knees. Not a good move. Here comes the knee to my chin. I'm on my back. Blood was coming out of the corner of my mouth now. Got to find an out, got to find something to change this. A kick to my ribs. Another one, and finally on the third I rolled with it. Managed to my feet. And without hesitation I spun back towards the kid. My fist catching him square in the temple. I was too caught up in the moment to realize my right hand was now busted up. Instead I followed through with an immediate left into his nose. The kid reeled back.

A quick shove and he hit the ground. My eyes flashed red. What is this feeling?! I can not describe what it feels like the first time you exact revenge of this type on another being. My next move was to get on top of him. I pinned his arms down and it was just me, my fists and his head now. I rocked him many a times into the concrete. It was until the rage started fading that I stopped. I began to feel my hands cracking with each connecting swing. The rage dies when the life-force is excreted from the body. When the kid's life-force passed, so did my rage.

The adrenaline dropped and suddenly my hands hurt like hell. But this kid... I just sent him packing straight to hell, heaven, purgatory, whatever. I do not know. But I learned the rules quick. It's kill or be killed. The law does nothing in this world. People die by other people's hands everyday here. The cops do not interfere unless it is the will of whichever crime lord is ruling the city at that time. The cops aren't cowards, they just like the lifestyle they get when they get paid by the crime lords.

The worst part was going home that night. I walked through the door, my dad saw the blood on my clothes, stared a moment, and then with his back hand sent me to the ground. Theres the blood again. Did they know I just killed another human? Do they not care that I could have been on the other end? I don't know. But it was time to move.

I do believe thats where I got my start. But being 12 I wasn't quite old enough to be of any help to anyone yet. I was but a child until the next day. My parents expedited my release from the place I called home. I awoke that morning with my bags packed. I was to go live with some friend of a friend of the familys. But I decided not to. Train rides can be boring and sometimes you just "happen" to miss the train when it departs.

It was that day that I met my 3 best friends. In the train yard late that night, fate took over the threads of my life. Bam! A gun rang out. A shoot-out in a deserted train yard after hours. I am at this train yard hiding out and now there is a shoot-out. 2 guys were firing hand guns at each other. One man had a pair of them, and they sounded so angelic after each report.

The unfortunate part at that time, but later turned out to be the most successful event in my life was that the man died right there. The other guy took him down without hesitation. The man left the guy laying there. It did not seem to be a robbery, a crime of theft, anything of that sort. Just the other man wanted this guy dead. I took it upon myself to do the civil duty of looting the corpse. I found 300$ in cash on the man, a lighter, and decided I might want the hand guns.

When I removed the hand guns from him they were ice cold, yet I had witnessed him fire many shots from them. When they fell into the grip of my hands...they felt so warm and home-like. This was the start of a great friendship.
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Tears of Hell: Chapter 2
Date: Feb 18th, 2007 9:20:41 pm - Subscribe
Mood: daunted
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and warfare.

Einlanzer's bark is nowhere near as worse as his bite. I caught a couple of them, but theres just too damn many! Serge is on the radio requesting some fire support, but we all know the Hummingbirds won't be here in time to adjust the odds. They have none to send anyways. The Hummingbirds are working a project with Alpha and Bravo right now. Rabbits pinned and Saw can't even get his gun in a position. This will be some work. The street is a bit wide here so we have a little room to navigate.

Me? I'm still stuck behind this damn stone formation. The ground is shaking...
Can't be a walker. The ground never feels like an earthquake when they come through. Whatever this is, its massive. I got this feeling deep within me... we are shit out of luck this time. And theres the reason. A War Slug. Unbe-fucking-lievable.

Today can't get any worse. First we have bad intel, then a walker, and now a War Slug. War slugs, call them generals of the Slug army. They are big yes, armored as well, and that gun he is packing tells us he means business. Annihilator is what we call it. Flaming shots. Picture a flamethrower, and then imagine it shooting rocks at you. There you have an Annihilator. The fire is a brand of napalm, when it hits your going to be getting a ride home... in a bag.

Theres no retreat this time, thats for sure. We wear city camos and flak jackets, helmets are optional. I chose not to have a helmet, they get in the way. Besides a helmet don't mean shit versus one of these guys. Kevlar only adds to the burning. And Serge is on his feet. What in the hell is he thinking?! Does he know something we dont?

"Reilly get out of there! Sweeper take Reilly into that building to your three o'clock!"

I see it now. Serge is trying to get the Crow into a Roost. If this buildings dirty, I would definitely prefer to have Sweeper clean it. We take refuge beside the door, thankful that it has a bit of an aclove. Sweeper kicks the door down just in time. Here comes the napalm goodness, and we are inside. The wall we were at is melting apart. Sweeper leads the way with his shottie, and I follow closely with my handgun drawn. The side arm... a snipers love affair. How many times this little
piece has saved me is astounding. The buildings bottom floor is clean. Now we need to check the top.

The upstairs is a mess. Walls falling in all over the place. Which makes this extra difficult. Not only do we have to watch in front of us, but we also have to watch for stray bullets from down on the street. Just like that one that just came through the wall there. Sweeper stops for a moment. I think he is thinking how lucky he is right now. One more step too fast and thats his skull on the wall. Theres an upstairs dining room, complete with table and chairs. I grab the table and slide it to the wall. I lay down on the table peering out on to street through one of the holes. The War Slug is taking another shot at the Serge. Urban warfare is amazing. Everything is a barrier for protection. The slugs are advancing. Time to get started.

Two shots and two less slugs advancing. We just got to get Rabbit moving. That launcher on his rifle should put the damn war slug down with luck. My radio buzzes again.

"Reilly draw fire now!"

"Roger that."

How about a little fun for the big guy? I draw in and take aim at his ear or what would be an ear if it was human. And theres the shot. It doesn't catch the ear but its close. Enough to piss him off. I'm spotted and now the other slugs know that too.

But now is our plan. Rabbit is up and going. He takes a hard right at the opening and he is charging to the nearest car. He slides into place, I fire another shot. Saw is close behind Rabbit now. He is positioning himself under the car. And now comes the suppressing fire. Rabbit is moving to one of the statues in the town square. I catch it just time. An opposing sniper aiming right down on Rabbit. My shot misses but it rattles the sniper. My next shot doesn't miss. Rabbit gives a
helmet tap at me for that one.

It happens so very fast but Rabbit arms the launcher on his rifle. Rolls to his left, the suppression fire stops and the slug doesn't even see it coming. The rocket fires off like the 4th of July. Suddenly its attached to the bastard. He knows its there now. The War Slug turns, aim's his Annihilator at Rabbit, and then in a look of surprise he knows its over. And now body parts are raining from the sky like confetti. No time to celebrate. Rabbit is in a hot zone and needs some cover. They are closing in on him now. Saw is reloading which makes this a total mess.

You don't want to get caught by these guys. They like to make a head on a pike if you catch the drift. Another statue for town square courtesy of the slugs. Rabbit knows he is trapped. I don't have much left in this clip.

"Follow my lead Reilly."

Handyman is on the comm. What the fuck is he about to do. I turn quick to see him in my scope. He is digging through his duffle bag. And there it is. An explosive of sorts. I don't know much about the things except they go boom. And I'm guessing he doesn't have the detonator. Serge grabs the device and hurls it in the direction of the encroaching mob. I take aim.

I hold my breath and know this is a one time deal. I will have to reload after this shot. Saw is trying to buy Rabbit some room to run but its not quite time. My scope clicks in another zoom and I see the device. The slugs aren't noticing it at the moment. Maybe they think its a dud grenade? Who knows. I just know they are still moving and it's time to light them up.

"Now!"

I shout into the radio. Rabbit jumps up and takes off towards his cover fire, the slugs raise their guns and Einlanzer springs to life. The explosive detonates simultaneously with the shot. What ever the hell that thing was... its bright as
fuck. Was that a remote flash bang? Jesus christ Handy, a little warning please! A zoomed in view on a flash is like watching a big bang being created. In fact the only gun I hear firing is Serge's. I'm guessing he looked away, and is taking advantage of the impending slaugther. Slugs are crying out.

We don't call him the Serge for nothing. He knows his shit somedays. This plan was flawless. Except he didn't give us any warning. What if the flash didn't work the way it was supposed to? And the shooting stops. My eyes adjust and I quickly zoom in for survivors. None there. But whats that? Einlanzer peers in a little further. Blood. Not slug blood though. Human blood.

Serge is walking back to the cover spot. I see now. The blood is his. It looks like he took on in the thigh. Clean through from what I can tell. Not good, we are carrying an injured dog now. He is our C.O. though, so we can't leave him.
Serge is standing near Handy now. And my attention is drawn else where. Something is wrong on Handy... I can't place it. It looks like a red tattoo on his chest. Shit a sniper! I see him but its too lately. My rifle swings to his position. He fires, I fire. Einlanzer gives a growl. The sniper falls.

"Fuck!"

My comm goes off. I zip the gun back over to Handy and he is kneeling down at Serge. The blood that was coming out of his leg is nothing compared to whats coming out of his gut. Gut shot. Also known as the 15-minute shot. Your stomach acids eat away at your insides, boil even, and then its over. You got roughly 15 minutes depending on how much strain you put on your body.

Serge won't survive this one.
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Tears of Hell: Chapter 1
Date: Feb 18th, 2007 5:56:33 pm - Subscribe
Mood: triumphant
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and another novel idea.

"Move! Move! Move! Damnit, move!"

Shit we are pinned in. The Sergeant is out his mind. Where are we moving to? The streets blocked up ahead. If we weren't being flanked, we could retreat back the way we came. But no. Sergeant ordered us to this narrow alley and now we are trapped. Lucky for us the rooftops aren't necessarily rooftops anymore. The war has destroyed many of these once beautiful buildings. And for that I am thankful. If the roofs were still up... Oh I can only imagine the shit we would be in. These Syndicate slugs have really stepped up their tactics this time. I remember when they used to be some ignorant asses, but now they have progressed.

Me, some call me the Crow, others call me Reilly, or sometimes I go by Foxtrot 5. I am a sniper for Foxtrot, a squad under the command of the Saints. There is a total of 5 of us. Theres Jeremy, Stan, Phil, Bat, and the Sergeant. We were ordered to secure the town square up ahead, but recon is fucking useless. Nobody said anything about the slugs we would come across. The slugs... hold that thought.

"Sergeant we got three slimes at our six! They are taking cover behind the cars!"

Thats my job. My trusty sniper rifle, the Einlanzer as I have dubbed it, get to watch a lot of the fire fights. I see my share of battle though.

"Take them out now Reilly!" the Sergeant ordered.

"I'm on it!"

I take my sight to my eyes. The life of peering down the scope of my rifle has been, how do you say, enticing? I've seen a lot of death through this scope, both Saints and Slugs. I see my mark, right behind the burnt up sedan. Why hello there
slime. I can see his face all to clearly. This one is going to hurt. I draw a breath, steady my hand, and squeeze the trigger. The quick snip of Einlanzer makes it tough to see my spot, but this slime won't be seeing too much now. The bullet
finds its target. Straight through the bastard's eye. And he is down.

"Reilly hurry up damnit! We gotta clear our backs!"

Jeremy sounds panicked. Not my fault he is the sweeper. We have alot of code names here. Jeremy is the Sweeper, due to the fact he has a shotgun. Stan goes by the Saw. He packs a light machine-gun and damnit he is good. Phil is your standard foot soldier, he is probably going to be the next Sergeant that leads us. We call him the Rabbit. He runs out, the dogs or slimes chase and we cover his ass. Bat is something else. I like to call him the Handyman. If its electronic and he can touch it... it will work, sometimes.

And I fire again. That's two of them shits dead. The third. Where is he at again? Nevermind. And Einlanzer mouths off again, and thats all of them.

"Three marks down sir! We are good to fall back!"

"That's a negative son. We fight for this town square now! Command is not going to accept us falling back!"

Damnit why do people in charge have to be so hard headed. We fall back, let them come down the alley, and take them out. Not this time. Today we are going to fight for all its worth right here.

"Rabbit! Get out there and do what you do! We need the right side clear ASAP!"

"Roger that Sarge! I'm on it!"

And there goes Rabbit, out of the covey hole. This should be interesting. Saw is already laying down the suppression fire to the left. Like I said he is good. I draw my scope up again. I'm in charge of the buildings straight ahead. If something peers out of them, its my job to end it. Handyman is watching my ass. I guess I could call him a spotter. He's not much for combat.

Rabbit is probably picking them up and laying them down right now. I get a little jealous, but then again, with this sniper rifle I wouldn't be too effective in this type of shoot-out. The shooting stops to our right. Rabbit must have done his job.

Sweeper steps through and around the corner. I follow suit. Rounding the corner I find Rabbit has made us a make shift bunker out of an armored apc. The apc is thrashed but the armor will protect us while the slugs advance on us. I climb into the back of the apc, and find a gun slot. These are pretty handy if your inside it. The Sergeant is trying to get some new orders or intel from HQ, but they aren't here. They are just going to say 'Get that Town Square now!'. We already know this. The street in front of me is crawling with slugs. Back to what I was saying about them. The slugs just kinda appeared here a few years back. Started off in some of those small one horse towns. Began breeding and infecting everything in the area. Then before we knew it, there was a slew of them taking over the big cities. And since that day we have been in a never ending battle with these bastards. They look human, except for that stench and the skin... I hate their smell. Slugs are easy to put down though, one shot to the chest or head and they are down. The ones you gotta watch out for are the Battle Slugs or B.S. They can be hell. Armor on the vitals. Ask Rabbit how much fun they are.

And what do you know, theres two B.S. down the street. Lucky for me, Einlanzer is in good form today. The maggots are the worst. They are like larva. They crawl across the ground silently, and then leech onto you. Life sucks when they get onto
you. Just hope whoever is shooting it off you can aim worth a damn. Things weren't to bad at one point. They used to just use barbaric tactics. Grab a stick, beat your ass. But then somewhere along the way, Saints started dying fast, and the bastards learned how to use weapons.

Back to work. I peer through the gun hole, take aim and another one is down. Meanwhile Saw is tearing up the right side of the street, which is good because Rabbit got the go-ahead to advance down the street. My job is to cover the left. Call Sweeper crazy but he loves the indoors. Me personally, call it weapon issues, love the streets. Rabbits pretty far down there now. I guess Serge and Handyman are going to be advancing next. Still not sure why Handyman is with us, maybe theres something at this Town Square we need. We only get briefed on what we need to be briefed on. Serge is the only one who knows all the briefings. Handyman has his orders, Serge knows them, and he can't tell us. Besides Serge and Handyman, our orders are to protect the two of them until they accomplish their missions. Sweeper has caught up to Rabbit now.

I get left behind all the time. I can't advance until we have secured this street. Rabbit is behind a car now. He is under fire and just out of Saw's line.

Business as usual. The target is on top of what used to be a convenience store. I draw a bead on him, take a breath, Einlanzer howls a silent bark, and theres no more firing at Rabbit. My radio starts buzzing.

"Move up Reilly. Street is clear."

I do a bit of a hustle or jog. No need to expend too much energy to get up there. It's clear as far as we know.

BAM!

The bullet hits in front of my feet, and suddenly I'm sliding to my right behind piece of roof from the buildings beside me. I didn't even see the targets line of sight, but I know someone did because Rabbit's automatic is rattling off. Shit I need to be more careful. If those slugs could aim, I would be dead. My side didn't like the slide to much, but I am alive in this hell hole still so I can't complain. But now its time to catch up to my squad. Foxtrot... always makes me smile a bit. It's such a funny name for our squad. The Town Square isn't too much further up ahead. 2 blocks to be exact. And as long as we don't encounter any walkers we should be fine. But you know how irony works.

I'm laying under a car now facing down the new alley we are fighting through. Its not a great spot but it will do for the time. Rabbit is weaving in and out left and right. He will be in place shortly and we will be moving up. Wait he has stopped
moving, and the ground is trembling. Fucking eh! Walkers show up when you least expect them. Call them transports if you will. Huge Slugs that carry small slugs. Best description I can give ya. Pain in the ass to kill, but I have seen Handyman in action on these guys. His "electronics" come in handy, no pun intended.

"Bat get those explosives in place now! Everyone else cover, and fall back to the corner!"

Serge has a good idea for once. Me and Rabbit have always been a team, the others we don't know very well. They seem to be good company, and damn good at what they do. And theres the walker. He is walking his happy ass straight into the trap Handyman has set for him. My job is to ensure those explosives go off. Sometimes Handyman isn't fast enough with the trigger on his bombs, so I get to shoot them. I'm drawn in on the one on the right side of the street.

"Come on bitch. Just a little farther."

Handyman is getting trigger happy. Not good. He sets them off early and he won't get that walker. Unfortunately for us the slugs have noticed us and are firing at us now. Decisions decisions. I could pop a few of them off and keep us relatively
safe... or keep my eye on the explosives. I make my choice. One slug down. two slugs down. Third slug is now sliding off lifeless to the street. The walker is in between the charges now. Handyman is not pulling the trigger. What the fuck is going on.

Handyman is to my right slamming the trigger against the wall. No time. I take aim at the explosive on the right. Click! Click! SHIT! Fucking reload. This might get a bit ugly. I'm swapping the clip out now but I don't have enough time.

"Shoot the god damned explosives now Reilly!"

Serge doesn't realize the ugliness of this situation. And there goes Rabbit. What in the hell does he think he is doing?! He ducks behind some rubble in the middle of the street. Leans to the side, takes some aim, and unleashes a burst at the explosive. First burst misses. The next 3 hit the mark though and now the explosives are making two buildings a giant shrapnel bomb. The walker is in perfect alignment and he is falling down now. And with the death of the walker, we advance.

The two blocks we have to walk are pretty uneventful. But there she is, in all her glory. The Town Square and City Hall. We have reached check point A, almost. City Hall is going to be hot. I can feel the slugs there. Lots of them. Or maybe it's
just because I smell the bastards.

I couldn't be anymore right. So many of those fucks, its not even funny. Heavy fire. Hell rains down on us from everywhere but behind. Find cover. All we can do till we assess the situation. I find my cover. A nice little rock formation courtesy of Handyman's bomb.

I take my scope and find the Tangos. And Einlanzer screeches.
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Dreams In Red: Chapter 2.
Date: Feb 18th, 2007 1:16:04 am - Subscribe
Mood: ditched


"So the wolf has returned to its master?", Jerith sounds so ambitious.

"You could actually say the wolf has betrayed his master."

"Now now. It's never too late to return to myside and become the beast of burden you should be."

"You mean, Lapdog Jerith. I am no pawn in this fucking game. I will defy you and end what we started years ago. The world doesn't need me and you. We have done nothing good for this world since that day. The days grow shorter, the light gets darker, and the rain is heavier by the hour."

"Your heart is all that rains heavy my friend. The world does need us. Humanity is rejecting the world, not the world rejecting us. Harmony is a matter of perception. Co-existence can only be achieved if one side knows that the other reigns over it. This world is soon to bow to me."

"Your wrong Jerith. The world will kill us all."

"No thats where your wrong. The world will free us all by my hand. The world will kneel before me and clear out all the unfit souls that do not deserve the transcendence of the world."

"I am sorry but I will not allow that to happen. You have no right to decide who is fit to live and who is not!"

"Tsk tsk. You my friend, the lone wolf, have nothing to say. You have spent your whole life killing what you deemed unfit to live. Are criminals not human too? And you have killed for money because someone says another has wronged them. That is a double standard. Maybe you are not just to reign by myside..."

With that Jerith raises his Assault Rifle. It's on. I know it. But too late. The three round burst comes tearing out of the muzzle. Where to go?! No time. I roll forward hopping the bullets were high. 33 percent isn't a bad ratio. The 3rd bullet catchs my thigh. The wolf is injured in a worse way. The side is negotiable but the thigh is a violent injury. I took pride in my agility. Jerith isn't slow himself but he holds no candle to me, injured or not.

My roll forward completes and I am now on one knee firing up at him. He moves just enough to avoid a glimpse at the future. And he is taking aim again. I am still in the open. There! I see an aclove, but I am not sure if I can get there. Not good, I am doubting my abilities. Kain and Able attempt to reassure me but they can't find their eyes as I struggle to the aclove.

Clack! Clack! Clack! Jerith missed, and I am safe-guarded in this aclove of sorts. I have to remove his advantage. Not the rifle but his ego. Jerith in all the years of work we have had, has never been hit. Time to change that. I reach around the corner and let Able find me a path. 3 shots of blind fire and I know I need to move. Jerith is positioning. And he is firing again.

He never was a good shot but he has hit me once. These 3 shots go wide. I move blindly. Shit we are both staring at each other on the stage about 30 feet apart. I hadn't expected him to stay on the stage, but then again...he is a showman. Theres no audience here. God is not watching this fight. Positions... didn't think about mine. Jerith's gun is not even pointed at me. Its pointed upwards, and both Kane and Able are trained on him. Staring him down.

He fires the rifle, I react and shoot at his weapon. The vision is beautiful and then its a disaster. The gun flies from his hands and Able's bullet finds his right shoulder... but what was he aiming at? Time is up. The staind glass comes falling fast and it catches my arms and suddenly Kane and Able are sliding forward to the ground. I roll backwards. Not what I wanted. I'm bleeding bad from the glass and I have no weapon on me. Meanwhile Jerith is clutching his shoulder and his rifle is away from him.

Chess has now become checkers. And we are moving. He dives to his right and I dive to mine. I find Able and he finds Kane. How fitting. Kane overthrew his brother in the bible story and Able dies. We scramble to our feet. Both guns raised at each others face. Now is the time we find out whether or not I bury my past, or my past buries me.

And here we are both staring the down the tunnels that will show us our futures. Now comes the moment of claivoyance. The guns open their eyes and the vision is astounding. But wait...whose vision is this? My future, his future, or our future?
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Dreams In Red: Chapter 1
Date: Feb 16th, 2007 2:45:59 pm - Subscribe
Mood: charming
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and an idea for a book.

Rain outside...as usual. Fitting for a night like tonight. Tonight is the night I will end my past. Tonight is the night where I face the past without fear. For the first time in a very long while, I feel alive. This is something that must be done. They know I am coming. I know I am going. Fate knows it is time for me to go where it is I am going.

Only a few things can happen tonight. I go into the church, and I fail my mission. I go in and we both die. Or if all goes well, I go into this holy place, accomplish what needs to be done, and walk out of this place a new man. But like I said. They know I am coming tonight. No I am not going into this church to kill a man of God. You would have to live in this world to understand the significance of this climactic battle. If it doesn't happen tonight, it will never happen.

The church couldn't be in a more exciting location. A deserted part of town. A broken cast-iron gate barely hanging on its hinges. The building itself looks as though its about to fall apart. Walls crumbling in from all sides. Giant wooden doors. Eerie to most people, but to me... I am looking forward to this.

Walking down the street, I reach in my pocket and find a cigarette. Last one left. That's lucky. I finger the lighter in my pocket. A silver zippo and it holds a lot of value to me. In fact it might be the reason I started smoking in the first place. Engraved upon the zippo is but one word, Dream. Just the word Dream. The only thing I could ever imagine having on my memento to the world. I draw fire from the cigarette, hold the smoke in, and then exhale it out. Good stuff. I reach under my trench coat and locate the two 9's found safely at home in their holsters. Warmth.

Yea the guns always seem to bring my hands warmth. Kain and Able. Thats what I had named them, and yes it is engraved on the pieces of steel. The only two things in life I had ever trusted, besides the zippo. So you could say I have 3 friends that I have known all my life. The guns, the zippo, and I are pretty much a perfect square. We react with each other, depend on each other, and feel one another. I had tried other guns in my profession but none felt at home in the grip of my hand like Kain and Able.

Almost time. The cigarette is down to the filter. I know in my pocket is a little "Juice", but I don't need it tonight. I don't need the extra reflexes, nor do I want to risk the downer that follows it. This could be a long fight and the side-effects of the "Juice" could really hinder my mission.

How much is this task worth? Nothing. This is my personal vendetta. Call the prize my life, my pride, my freedom. Life or death, the only truth is that I have to end my past. If I fail it will haunt me in the afterlife. I don't have the time right now to discuss the past with you. I will need the energy. The church is right in front of me. They know its right in front of me. Its not time to talk to Kain and Able yet.

I approach the gate and push the rusted piece of shit open. It cries a little. I guess it can feel the tension in the air, or maybe it smells the upcoming blood. These bastards inside have to die tonight, even if I fall too. I can't let them live. The hell they will unleash upon this place by living is unimaginable. Actually I just need to sever the head. Jerith. Yes, Jerith, the leader must die. Everyone else in this church is just guppies. Small fish. Couldn't solve a color by number. But Jerith. He has always been able to lead them, they will die tonight... for him.

They will fire their guns at me. Hope to kill me, but Jerith and I both know, that none of them will be able to kill me. I'm not conceded, nor am I over-confidant. But I know my abilities. The world needs me tonight. The world knows how bad it needs me. The rain is proof. The rain wasn't there until that day. Since then it hasn't stopped. I know why. The world cries for what we have done. And tonight I must end the rain. The world needs the sunshine again. Ah...the sunshine. Don't get me started. If I start on it, I won't walk in. But the sunshine is another reason I must do this.

I approach the wooden doors. I see they already opened one for me. Its open enough for me to get in. Any novice would expect this to be a trap. I know better. Even Jerith knows the importance of this battle. He wouldn't dare try to kill me as soon as I walk in. Jerith is a showman. If its not an event of grand proportion... it won't happen. That doesn't mean he isn't going to take advantage of my lone wolf status. He will lay the meat on the floor for me, let me have my fill, maybe take a wound or two, and then he will just need to put the old dog down.

Jerith hasn't seen me recently. Our job is all mental. Most people think its physical work to kill another man. No. Its all mental. Everything works together. Your mind works with the weapons. Your hands are just extensions of the mind, the guns extended from your hands, and the bullet is a vision of the future. Everything falls back to your mind. The best sharpshooters in the world know this, but none are 100% on the truth. Thats why I am still alive, and they are all dead.

I appear to be a lone wolf, but like I said, my 3 best friends are here with me. Kain and Able both share the same view as I on my work. Or should I say "our" work. The day they leave my hands, is the day I am dead or retired.

I'm in the church. Jerith isn't hiding. In fact he is sitting in the chair on the stage. Back in the day this place would have probably been packed, a preacher raging the voice of God to his audience. But now the pews are all broken and rotting. The candles are barely burning. God is no longer here in this place. Killing in a sacred place is one thing, but this place has lost all its sacred beliefs. When Jerith walked through the doors here, any thought of God still being here was erased.

Jerith doesnt say a word. Doesn't have to. The first gun fires. I evade it easily. My hands have already moved to the vessels for my mind. Kain and Able are standing ready. I am still rolling to the side. Stop number 1. I am behind a pillar. Bad situation. To the novice I am but a trapped animal. Novices know nothing. A trapped animal has 2 choices. Lay down and accept its fate, or fight back. Jerith knows I am going to fight back. That bastard still hasn't moved from that chair. I know this.

I could take a pot-shot and try to off him here and now, but whats the fun in that? I glance around the pillar. Cement shatters off as I pull back in. I have to get a shot off fast. Automatic guns are a double edge sword. Sure they have a good chance of randomly hitting me, but at the same time they are loud. Kain and Able aren't quite as loud. I don't have their silences on tonight. Don't need them. This fight is for the ages. I need a distraction.

There! The chair behind this pillar will be good enough. I grab the chair and launch to my left. I hear the clatter of automatic fire. Time to move. I dive to the opposite side. The heat of an automatic's bullets rains near me. My mind is extended out, and my vision of the future rips forward. My mind is keen tonight. The automatic fire stops from this direction.

How many are there? Fuck if I know. I just know that I am fine when that damned noise stops. The others are back from the misguidance I gave them. And theres that fucking rattle again. Move damnit! I'm on my feet running across the back of the church. The laser sight draws across my eye. Thats a mistake for any sharpshooter. The red dot in the eye tells me everything I need to know. And... theres the boom. I slide to my ass, foot extended. I hit the wall and allow my foot to give as the rest of my body closes into the wall. I throw myself up and squatted, back against the wall. I'm envisioning the future with my friends right now... and two more automatics stop firing.

That's 3 down and I have dropped 5 of my own shells. 5 shells out of 38, 36 but 2 in the chamber when I walked in. Wow a breather for a moment, wait. FUCK! The red dot draws again on me. Where is he at? I'm not anxious, nor am I worried, but I have to find him. Somethings wrong.

Two dots... Jerith knew it would throw me off having 2 snipers. Snipers are the worst. Not because they are good shots but because you can't drop them on the first shot. You have to find them, then you have to flush them, then you get to kill them. Jerith does breed good snipers, but the good news is... he didn't breed me. And I'm moving for cover. Jerith is probably laughing. I am crawling on my hands and needs to the closest pew. And I hear the reports from the rifles. Too damn close. Again somethings wrong.

The automatics sound off again. Suppressing fire so the snipers can advance. Nows my chance to find them but I am pinned down under this fucking ridiculous fire. Kain and Able aren't saying anything at this time. I think they know something is wrong here. The bullets stop. Quick are they reloading or are they allowing the snipers to train a shot? Only one way to know. I roll out of the pew and my mind draws a blank. 3 shots and nothing, except wait...there it is. I feel something in my side give. Shit!

It's not a mortal wound. It's going to hurt like hell to move as much as I do but nothing I haven't felt before. In fact I have taken one in this spot before. And I'm moving to the side again. My mind is cloudy. Nothing flowing through it. 6 shots in a row, and the only vision of the future is a busted up pew. I duck behind another pew. Assessing the wound a little more. Bullet passed. That's good. My mind draws to the Juice in my pocket. No. Can't touch that. Boom! The pew splinters. Sniper 1 is giving me his position. Only a novice would roll out now to take a shot.

Sniper 2 is beading in on the open space. The snipers are where I expect them to be. Balcony, one on each side. Neither can actually see me, but they were trained by Jerith. One sniper gives up his position so the other gets the shot. Problem is they already showed me that theres 2 of them. This tactic only works if the quarry doesn't know there is a second. I throw my coat out into the open. Theres shot 2.

I'm on my feet and firing. My mind is clear as a bell. Kain finds sniper 1 easily. He shows him the future and it is death. And here comes that damned automatic fire again. I cringe as I retreat to my safe haven. Less than 5 seconds, sniper 2 is reloaded. Going to have to wait. I am sure theres 3 more automatics left and 1 sniper. I can see my coat from here. That sniper would have received a gold star for that shot. The hole is directly through where my heart would have been. I hear the click of an automatic. Still 2 more firing but they are being more conservative.

I lay on my stomach, and I find the feet of one of my assailants. Able fires off twice. Only a vision of a person dropping to the ground. Kain gives the picture of death. The other autos continue their firing, but my idea has worked. They have lost their back up fire and they are getting low on ammo. I give a quick faint up and then roll back into the aisle. The faint works and sniper 2 clearly misses. And sniper two has the greatest view of his future courtesy of Able. I'm walking forward now. Kain pointed left and Able pointed right. Both sounding off at the last two gunmen.

The future was looking so bright for them... and now its not. My friends till me they are hungry so I snag some food out of my pocket and feed them. They are full. Only thing left now is the kill. I'm bleeding a bit more now. The wound is open a bit worse than it should be. I think it was that last roll. Jerith has his wish. His sniper did his job. I am a wounded wolf now.
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Stalkers part deux.
Date: Feb 16th, 2007 3:31:05 am - Subscribe
Mood: witty


Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. Stalkers and potential stalkers. Stalker victims and people who want stalkers. Today we are going to discuss, "How to Keep A Stalker If You Happen To Luck Up And Get One".

Most people fear losing their stalker once they get one. It's totally understandable. After reading part 1 of this series you should know how to spot one now. Today we need to discuss how to keep them at all times. Lets get started shall we.

How to keep A Stalker:
Pocket Stalker: The best way to keep a PS is drama. And I mean heavy drama. If you don't have a boyfriend, get one to pretend to be one. You need a guy with you at all times. The stalker will get bored if he sees your available. He gets a rush out of you having someone thats not him. You need to forewarn the boyfriend that you have this type. You don't want him to get his ass kicked without warning.

Sniper Stalker: This is the easiest class to lose. Keeping him or her is tough. You gotta promise to visit the area they live in or talk about them coming to your town. The more you fill their head with the thought of getting close enough to become a pocket stalker. The more likely you are to keep this stalker.

Reverse Stalker: Not a lot to help on this one. You gotta continue to call them a stalker. Keep them in your life. Do not let them stray. They will defend themselves strongly about being a stalker. The more stronger the feeling the more likely you will keep them.

Watchman of the House: This one isn't tough to keep. You can keep this one easily. Keep your blinds open. Do things that you know will excite the stalker like walk around nude in your house with the blinds open. Things like that. Also leave cookies and milk out some nights on your front porch. He might get hungry. You never know.

The Cleaner: Whats the best way to keep this stalker around? Continuously dirty your apartment. The cleaner is just looking for a reason to sneak in and steal boxers or panties anyways. So buy really expensive underwear, label it your favorite, and then dirty your house. The Cleaner will be by shortly, clean your apartment and steal those under garments. Easy as pie.

The Follower: This one is tricky. You gotta keep an eye on him and try to make it appear you don't have your eye on him. Go places...alot. Mix it up. Places with alot of people, places with few people. He needs camouflage so never lure him into a 1 on 1 spot. Thats a bad idea. He will know your on to him then.

The Instant Messenger: Ohhhhh this one is something else. Play his ass. Just play him. After he says something stalker like... egg it on. When he says he thinks your alot more attractive in peanut butter, tell him you might give that a try. Just play him. Like Nike once said... Just Do It.

So there you have it ladies and gentleman. Read and study these steps because it could be vital in your stand with your stalker. Don't fuck around with your stalker. You might get injured if you don't know the rules of this game. I hope that helps. Installment 3 will be sometime soon.
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Philosophy of the Radical Dreamer: Idea 1.0
Date: Feb 14th, 2007 1:52:40 pm - Subscribe
Mood: adventurous
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and a view from a windowsill.

Ok I got to thinking today while listening to some music. The song in question is "Judith" by A Perfect Circle. If you have ever heard this song you know what its about. The quote I am going to reference here is "It's not like you killed someone. Its not like you drove a hateful spear into his side". For those of you who don't understand this quote because you haven't heard the song. Its in reference to the suffering of humans and the reference of the spear is a notion to the roman soldier and the spear of longinus. The spear used to make sure Christ was dead.

I am no atheist nor am I agnostic. I am a failure of religion at this time. Wandering trying to find my way. The point I want to envoke today is from that song. Keenan Maynard-James (lead singer tool and a perfect circle) states the fact that we are not the original sin. We today are not the ones that crucified Christ. Why must we suffer? Why must we be tried and tested? Why are we the ones who have to repent for what Adam and Eve did millenia ago?

I am not a religious follower of KMJ but he asks a good question. It goes back to a human philosophy of why when one person fucks up do we all get punished. Its just like in school when you were a young one. If you were allowed to go to the bathroom when it wasn't time, and you got in trouble for running in the hall. The teacher would not allow anyone to go during non-bathroom break time... Why? Because 1 or 2 people fucked it up for everyone. Humans are ignorant when compared to the overall scheme of it all. If God is omniscient he knew already that Adam and Eve were going to disobey right? So he created more of us.

More of us he knew would defy him and not follow the rules he laid out. He knows your story before you do. He has already closed the final lines of your life the moment you were born. Which makes me wonder a very weird thought. Some people closest to me know this question before I ask it. Do we have any control whether or not we get saved? People say they will pray for you to find God. But when you get saved they say "Thank You God for saving this soul". I am confused. Life is a mere question of does pre-destined fate exist or no? I have asked Ryan this before I know. If pre-destined fate exists... Is it not shitty to know that if you die without being saved that it was meant to be that way? God created you to die and not know him.

I don't mean to question him. In fact we aren't supposed to question his thoughts and ideas. But this is what happens when you make a being capable of thought and a conscience. He knew at some point we would defy him. It just so happens it happened very early in creation. Adam and Eve were the original sin. We were not the original sin, we are an off-spring of the original sin. Sure he gave the off-spring of the original sin a way out by coming to Christ. But I guess my whole issue is pre-destined fate. I like to think our books are still open and free to change. But if God knows everything, he will know your end. He will know if you will come to him or not.

And like I said. If your not meant to come to him, you were chosen at birth to die and go to hell. Thats a shitty outlook I know. But you have to view all aspects of your life. If you were to still be around when the Revelation begins the bible states how many people will be called up. The numbers not very large... So does that mean we were born to be in hell? Or will the number of people on Earth dramatically decrease long before the apocalypse? When the tower of babel was construced, did he not cast out everyone and spread them amongst the world? What generated was multiple religions then. I'm not trying to be blasphemous. I just want to learn what I am supposed to believe. Blind faith is no faith.

Those out there who follow a religion blindly might as well be leading yourself to a slaughter. I'm going to question your beliefs because I want to find my beliefs. I refuse to believe something just because someone goes read this. If your going to follow something thats highly criticized. You gotta be prepared for everything. I think I know alot more about Christianity than some of the people that are in church every sunday. But if I don't start going to church and following the bible religiously I am condemned to hell. Whereas someone who knows nothing of Christianity other than be in church by 11a.m. and get saved will go to heaven. And lets not forget, it might not be in my book to come back to him. I know I may get flamed for this post. Its possible. But I am open to all criticism here.

I am a free thinker. I also think there is no such thing as pre-destined fate. If your a religious person you can follow me when I say "He whoever believes in me shall not die but have everlasting life". So we are saying 2 things here. Number 1 if there is predestined fate, we can't control who does or doesn't believe in him. Thats like saying God created a group of "Special" people and some of us aren't going to be allowed in that group. That sucks... Ok so then we have the other option. The one that sounds alot prettier and hopeful. Good ole Option 2. Plan B if we must. The idea that we are free souls. God doesn't know how it will end, He only knows the past and present. We can have free choice to decide whether we follow or not. Everyone likes this idea more. And we know why.

Humans need hope. Without hope we would not exist, nor would any of us strive to do better, nor attempt to live for God. Does that not seem more plausible? I would like to hope for the Option 2 in life. It would mean more if you had to earn your way back into Heaven, and you weren't pre-planned whether or not you were born to be condemned to hell. Please... thoughts, opinions, flames, hate mail, arguements, etc. All are welcome here. I am opinion to your ideas and beliefs. I can not establish my beliefs without learning a basis of why I believe. So fill me in. I can take all criticism because I know religion is supposedly a topic of conversation you can't have with your friends. But I don't mind it.

See ya in the stars...
-=The Radical Dreamer=-
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Tales of the Radical Dreamer: Entry 5.5
Date: Feb 14th, 2007 12:51:05 pm - Subscribe
Mood: abnormal
A Radical Dreamers journey through despair: and god knows what.

Ok so its been a few hours since I posted this morning. Happy Wednesday is going pretty good. All packed up for the beach...though I get all ready and have everything in my car, get back to work, realize I left my sneakers in my car. That means I have to go back to my apartment after work to get them. That makes me feel wonderful *sarcasm*.

I think I want to suddenly be "sick" so I can get out of here early... but then again I only have 3 hours left to go. Problem is today has been way to fucking slow. I have taken about 7 calls total. On a normal day I usually have 15 by this time. Speak of the devil. Theres a call there. Seems every time I mention not doing work... I get a call. I blame you Aeonity =). I have something a bit deeper to write for you so I am going to end this adventure short.
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