Stalkers part deux.
Date: Feb 16th, 2007 9:31:05 am - Subscribe
Mood: witty
Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. Stalkers and potential stalkers. Stalker victims and people who want stalkers. Today we are going to discuss, "How to Keep A Stalker If You Happen To Luck Up And Get One".
Most people fear losing their stalker once they get one. It's totally understandable. After reading part 1 of this series you should know how to spot one now. Today we need to discuss how to keep them at all times. Lets get started shall we.
How to keep A Stalker:
Pocket Stalker: The best way to keep a PS is drama. And I mean heavy drama. If you don't have a boyfriend, get one to pretend to be one. You need a guy with you at all times. The stalker will get bored if he sees your available. He gets a rush out of you having someone thats not him. You need to forewarn the boyfriend that you have this type. You don't want him to get his ass kicked without warning.
Sniper Stalker: This is the easiest class to lose. Keeping him or her is tough. You gotta promise to visit the area they live in or talk about them coming to your town. The more you fill their head with the thought of getting close enough to become a pocket stalker. The more likely you are to keep this stalker.
Reverse Stalker: Not a lot to help on this one. You gotta continue to call them a stalker. Keep them in your life. Do not let them stray. They will defend themselves strongly about being a stalker. The more stronger the feeling the more likely you will keep them.
Watchman of the House: This one isn't tough to keep. You can keep this one easily. Keep your blinds open. Do things that you know will excite the stalker like walk around nude in your house with the blinds open. Things like that. Also leave cookies and milk out some nights on your front porch. He might get hungry. You never know.
The Cleaner: Whats the best way to keep this stalker around? Continuously dirty your apartment. The cleaner is just looking for a reason to sneak in and steal boxers or panties anyways. So buy really expensive underwear, label it your favorite, and then dirty your house. The Cleaner will be by shortly, clean your apartment and steal those under garments. Easy as pie.
The Follower: This one is tricky. You gotta keep an eye on him and try to make it appear you don't have your eye on him. Go places...alot. Mix it up. Places with alot of people, places with few people. He needs camouflage so never lure him into a 1 on 1 spot. Thats a bad idea. He will know your on to him then.
The Instant Messenger: Ohhhhh this one is something else. Play his ass. Just play him. After he says something stalker like... egg it on. When he says he thinks your alot more attractive in peanut butter, tell him you might give that a try. Just play him. Like Nike once said... Just Do It.
So there you have it ladies and gentleman. Read and study these steps because it could be vital in your stand with your stalker. Don't fuck around with your stalker. You might get injured if you don't know the rules of this game. I hope that helps. Installment 3 will be sometime soon.
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