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reverie confused dreams - Subscribe
My exams are finally over! whew...technically there're the last i'll ever take, unless i do some post-grad studies in future... yippee!
i didnt feel a great sense of relief though.. it was strange coz i actually looked glum at the end of it. i felt like one exam was over, not like it was ALL over...

and i juz woke up, feeling super confused bout this dream i had...

in the dream i wanted to join a church organised outing but cldn make it except to join them while they were on the way home. So i met them on their way home and got on the coach that wld bring us all back. Weird thing is, when it came to collect $ for the trip (which occurred only aft the whole trip when we reached church), i was asked to pay the whole amt even though i didnt join in except take the transport toge with them! And it was not cheap! it was $200+ and the trip cld've been taken by any of us w/o the costs! shocked n confused, i paid the pastor but felt very sad that my hard-saved $ juz flew down the drain like that...i went home upset and slept for a super long time. (still in my dream) when i woke up, i checked my schedule book n to my horror realised i had missed a 9am exam that day! i called my friend n began to cry.. my fren asked me to re-check the date but i cldn find that page in my schedule anymore. i was really scared that i'd have to stay 1 more sem in sch and not grad..

oh man... this dream was really weird coz of the $ and esp coz my exams are over! why wld i worry bout missing papers when its over? its not like im stressed over them anymore...


been checking out soo many websites on artists and online shopping.. feel so tempted to get some tees online coz u wont find them in shops here...oh well have to keep reminding myself to save $$$...
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Mood: confuzzled

reverie mad me May 4th, 2005 11:01:28 pm - Subscribe
Im mad at my sis. We hardly quarrel but she shouted at me this morning when i wanted to borrow a top from her. n why? coz i didnt talk to her during my exam period.

wow... so im supposed to be studying her instead of my books during my exams?? n i dun exactly enjoy talking to her, if it can be counted as talking... when i talk, she doesnt respond n i feel like im talking to a piece of wood. When she talks, no one is allowed to interrupt and she has gone on w/o stopping for more than 2 hrs. How can i find the time to listen to her during my exams? so now she thinks she's being used by me coz i only talk to her when i need her. Yeah right, more like she needed to talk (she's an extrovert) n got mad coz she didnt get what she wanted during my exams.

dunno whats wrong this days... i hardly have conflicts with my family but within the exam period n now, i've quarelled with my mum (or at least had cold wars) like several times n now with my sis...

argh... called my fren to complain n she was so mature bout it. reallly glad to have a fren like her. all the things she said made sense...i'll be seeing her later for some long-awaited shopping (window-shopping ;p) so yay!
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Mood: pissed

reverie Irony May 8th, 2005 2:14:14 am - Subscribe
So many ironies...

IRONY ONE:
i dunno if im stressed/troubled/depressed whatever coz i had another unpleasant dream bout taking exams! The irony is, my exams ended 5 days ago! I dreamt last night that on my exam day i went out shopping with my sis and almost forgot the time. When i got there i didnt know it was open-book and took such a long time to do the qns...halfway thru my pencil case spilled open and on picking up all my stuff, i met a fren and ate with them as i was still doing the paper! weird right? the first thing that stuck me when i awoke was- why in the world am i still dreaming bout failing/missing exams when they're over for gd n im gonna grad?? really dun get it...

IRONY TWO:
Went to church today as usual n the sermon was on anger management. The irony was, i was so 'lucky' as to see 2 of my youth pastors get mad within the same 2 days, yesterday n today. Both of them only got mad in my presence and at me, so no one else saw or knew... it's a long story n i guess it was a misunderstaning but sometimes i wish ... i dunno i juz wish i'd stop seeing contradictions n hypocrisy in church. No one's perfect but it saddens me to see pple in church blow up n be mean to each other. it's not juz some isolated event but there seems to be a real lack of love in my youth church. i thot i was the onlky one who felt this way but my church pal J said the same thing... honestly i sometimes wonder why im a Christian, since the Christians i see act the same or even worse than non-believers. n i frankly prefer hanging out with my non-christian frens rather than those in church. maybe we're too complacent and tend to take things for granted, so we forget to care and look out for others, we juz say and do whatever we feel like doing... im too tired to even get mad or judge them. i juz wish smth wld happen... maybe their level of meanness is nothing at all n i shd get used to it. i dunno how to not be mean n still accept meanness.. maybe im too sensitive...maybes.....

sigh, sometimes i think too much. still a little sore over my pastor's anger juz now. it wasnt an eruption, juz a seething sort of barking tone. if i didnt keep my temper in check it might have erupted into ugly stuff. the thing bout me is i dunno how to express my displeasure to my pastors coz they're pastors so i either suppress it or flare out at my family- the last pple who deserve it.. argh.. so many mixed emotions in me now...sad/pissed/confused/frustrated/guilty..

n frens cant always be there so if not for this blog i think i'd have died of suppression...
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Mood: suppressed

reverie im back!! May 17th, 2005 1:08:46 pm - Subscribe
hehe im back! after a rather long period of MIA, here i am!! am feeling rather happy now.. its presently 2am local time n i've juz been on the phone with my best fren K. It's juz one of those weeks where everythg is wonderful.. haha well sch's over so technically its hols except im gonna grad happy.gif
haven written my resume, am supposed to get it done eons ago...

lemme see... what have i been doing the past week?
-watching tv (a lot....)
-going out with frens i haven met up in ages
-swimming and practising backstroke
-eating n grocery-shopping (a form of shopping i can readily engage in!)
-surfing the net, reading blogs, yahoo auctions, playing RPG
-sleeeeeeeppp
-church stuff like choir n admin

yup that's bout it... if i dun record it down, time is gonna fly pass me like nothing n i wun be able to realise what i've been doing!
but this has really been a relatively blissful happy time of my life.. no hmwk, lessons,tests etc... juz lazing at home or spending much missed time with my frens happy.gif
this almost seems surreal, in contrast to my future of endless slogging in an office with office politics ..oh well till den, im happppyyy
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Mood: exuberant

reverie A quiz May 17th, 2005 1:47:34 pm - Subscribe
mermaid
You are a Mermaid, who sits on a rock in
the sea, looking and watching all humanity with
curiosity in your eyes. You have a two-sided
personality! On one hand, you revel in your
freedom and often prefer to live in your own
private dreams.

On the other hand, humanity
intrigues you and you love watching on. You are
actually very kind at heart, hating to see
people hurt and despise injustice! You probably
have one or two special friends, who mean the
world to you!

Also; you are probably quite
political, wanting to see justice done in the
world.

You are quite the dreamer, needing
freedom and personal space to dream your little
dreams. You love to escape into a book or some
good music and just drift away.

Some of your
good points are that you are sensitive,
compassionate and a freethinker. Your bad
points are that you may come across as cool and
aloof to others and probably have a tendency to
depression!

You are the ultimate dreamer with
a kind, but troubled heart!


Are you a Princess, Enchantress, Faerie, Mermaid or Toad? (with pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla
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Mood: hmmmm