ruminating...
Date: Apr 22nd, 2005 7:48:07 am - Subscribe
Mood: spiritually dry
the countdown to my last time taking exams...3 days to the 1st paper!
trying to study but i study best in sch, i stayed at home today so... i practically got nothing done. Am always in 'slack n sleep' mode when im at home, sigh the bed n fridge are toooo near me ;p
came across this quiz:
1.WHAT DO U THINK IS THE MOST OVERRATED AND UNDERRATED THING IN LIFE?
i think the 2 most overrated things in society today is physical beauty and charm. From the viewpoint of relationships, pple often choose frens n partners based on looks n charisma, which often override more impt things like integrity, love etc. Just bcoz a guy is charming n cute says nothing about him being a loving and responsible partner, the same goes for gals... Character and integrity would be the most underrated things in life to me...Often pple with the courage to say no or to stand up for what's right end up being mocked, fired, misunderstood etc... In life, it doesnt seem to pay to be righteous or honest or responsible.
2.IF U COULD CHOOSE ONLY 1 THING, WHAT WOULD U WANT IN LIFE?
Love. im greedy- i want to be loved but i also want to love. im incapable of giving perfect love, only jesus can give that but i want to be able to love openly n freely, no hold barred, without any reservation or fears of being hurt or rejected. i want to be loved too. I want to be loved and i want to love those who love me...only then can there be a true fulfillment of my deepest needs, coz true joy in life stems from the co-existence of giving and receiving...
3.DEFINE LIFE.
Life...is living out what God has given me to my best ability- both joy n sorrow, plenty n need; it is not ever forgetting the feeling of being alive, even in torment or pain. Life is a journey- in this journey we may venture forward and discover new frens and new experiences, we may grow in character. We may also digress, lose our purpose in life, dwell in the past hurts...Life's about the choices we make in life, not juz the big ones but especially the little ones, coz one's character is more often tested in the everyday mundane than in the occassional trauma. Life is also a process of self discovery- u discover urself, ur desires/needs/dreams/strengths/weaknesses and it is this discovery that gives us an identity and purpose in life.
4.WHAT MAKES U HAPPY?
what makes me happy...hahaha lots of things actually..$$ to do whatever i want, shopping, food like choc,sushi,ice cream;swimming, beaches, trekking,the sky,stars,being with pple i love, doing things i like,travelling...
i think 'happiness' has a time element...some things make u happy, but this happy feeling is short lived. other things endure n continue to give u JOY. The things that make me happy (short term) tend to be material or physical things like $, food, nature, clothes etc but what gives me JOY (long term) would be relationships i.e. family, frens, God.
5.WHAT MAKES U SAD?
Sorrow...hmm this shd be easy, im so super emo... watching sad shows or shows based on human suffering i.e Holocaust, illness, war, death, etc are enuf to turn my tap on or cast me in a sad mood. the things i see ard me often make me sad- the hurts of pple i read bout in papers/hear bout/know bout who face divorce, rape, abuse, cancer...
what often really makes me sad is the youths in church. Being with them subconsciously depresses me bcoz their lack of love and self-centredness is juz yelling at me. im not judging them n i dun want to, im not fit to but it juz hurts to see them cut each other n ignore each other's needs out of complacency n self-sufficiency. it seems strange that i much prefer the companionship of my non-christian frens bcoz somehow they have so much love to give n are so sensitive and caring. how ironic...
6.WHO OR WHAT ARE U LIVING FOR?
As a christian, the model answer would be God. But as the song goes, im literally '500 miles' away from Him. haven been reading my bible or praying. the only 'link' i have to him is going to church 2-3 times weekly for service or for my ministries... Strange isnt it? to serve in church yet not know who im serving. Im serving in church not out of love for God, more out of a sense of responsibility coz i said i'd do it. I dunno how to love God bcoz at the moment i dare say im living for myself. Mostly for myself and partly for my family, bcoz they mean the most to me and give me a sense of identity n place in this world. The model answer wld be very far away in my list of priorites at the moment...
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