We will be better for this experience
Date: Jul 26th, 2007 11:13:55 am - Subscribe

I am painting a landscape of a beautiful barrow,
And my brushstrokes are broad but my focus is narrowed,
To the budding, bold masterpiece unfolding before me,
On a blackened, rent canvas that cannot be seen

Because every pain is just a stepping stone,
And every trial is a lesson unknown,
And all your quaking thoughts are prone,
This is what you tell yourself,
You’re no liar; you’re just someone else,
You’re the only thing that’s ever free,
But it’s not your fault; there is only me

Because a frown is just a smile uncovered,
And your truth is just a lie uncovered,
So, they tell me I’d be wise to think,
Yes, they tell me we are all on the brink,
Of who we will be tomorrow

Then, to prove my point more effectively,
I met a girl, who knew only beauty,
And I saw in her eyes all that I wanted to be,
So I took it from her; yeah, I corrupted her

But she’ll be better for this eventually,
We’ll both be fine because of me,
Or so I was led to believe,
By misguided friends and family,
But nothing is different because of me,
There is only time and gravity,
There is only what cannot be seen,
Like the evening chill is chased away by the light,
And then it’s forgotten, until the following night,
It keeps coming back; yeah, I keep coming back

It’s why we put our faith in the invisible,
And we drown ourselves in material,
In this slow, gradual suicide,
No, I’m not essential, I never was,
It’s the nature of those ticking clocks,
They’re the only thing that stays the same,
When I am gone they still remain,
In a mocking, bitter eulogy

Comments: (1)

Scholarly aspirations
Date: Jul 26th, 2007 11:13:25 am - Subscribe

I keep picking out the problems wherever I look,
And I pantomime the pleasures I read in my books,
Oh, my depression is addiction, but art is what you took,
From that museum of my memory, and the annals of my mind,
I’m a curator and a prospector but my discoveries are blind

Yes, they’re blind like me; it’s not that simple, really,
Cause no one sees what they can’t believe,
And they don’t believe anything,
You see; it’s not them, it’s only me,
Who’s become anything but real, and nothing but a bleak ideal

Of a future Eden I could steal, from the halls of libraries concealed,
By the faces of my father’s father, and his mistakes made in some dreary weather,
On a dreary day in a dreary year, that is utterly devoid of cheer,
And I sympathize with his guilty heart, with his angry thoughts, with a mind apart

But it’s useless now, because that day is just an afterthought of my ticking clock,
And he doesn’t care he just keeps the pace of the calendar,
Then he writes forever, using symbols and letters,
Of a civilization long since buried under monuments, of petty scholars,
And my heart is like his, it is shrouded deeper, under ugly vanity,
But I’m no solution; I have no rewards, only idealistic sanity.

Comments: (1)

A romantic progression
Date: Jul 26th, 2007 11:11:56 am - Subscribe

We could kiss or make-out, or just ignore,
Each other forever, just killing time,
With some girl that I love, but don’t quite adore,
But she’s not you, dear; it’s all in the eyes,
So, let’s be honest for a moment to contrast all the lies,
That we told to each other “I’ve never done this before”

We’ll pick out patterns in the clouds up above,
We’re two lonely people in need of some love,
But, it’s okay, it’s alright, I won’t hold it against you,
Because I’m the same way, I’m in need of a truth,
That I can cling to at night when my heart’s fled the scene,
And my only consolation is a dark room to clean

So, I’m occupied, but not rectified,
I’m unfinished, and I need your happy ending,
Write me into the conclusion, with the sun rescinding,
Behind a hill made of grass, that we walked up together,
And the people below, with their dull dreary lives,
Knew in their hearts, we would both live forever,
In the pages of books, where we write our own epilogues,
And we dispensed with those tiresome introductory songs.

Comments: (0)

A dreamlike state
Date: Jul 24th, 2007 6:19:09 pm - Subscribe

I’m looking for an open field, or vacant lot,
Or someplace empty, void of thought,
With virgin soil and the perfect spot,
To be alone and quell my heart
Relax my body, mind and all,
And slow my breathing to a halt,
My eyes would close,
And my pulse would cease,
And at last my soul would be released,
From time and rationality,
And finally, I’d be at peace

I would float above, and look below,
At the foolish man I used to know,
My past mistakes would billow out,
Like water from my open mouth,
And float above then trickle down,
To feed the earth and fill the ground

Then, back to myself, I would return,
A lifetime’s experiences learned,
Into my body, eventually,
I would become, what I cannot see,
I would be locked back in a cell,
That’s only guarded by my self,
Imprisoned here, universally,
I’m clinging to that which I flee.

Comments: (0)

Secondhand youth
Date: Jul 20th, 2007 8:02:48 am - Subscribe

Recently, I’ve noticed that I’ve become profoundly lonely,
And this man I see, in a thrift store photo, he sympathizes with me,
He has no love in his eyes and no life in his hands,
But he is warmed by a fire that has never been lit,
And just by telling his story, I feel like I’m helping,
I feel a little less lonely than I did while running,
That empty dark street, on the corner of research,
Well I thought I was winning, but I knew I was alone

The camera zooms out, to reveal a lit room, and a young man reading books,
By the light of a fire that is so familiar, and a woman smiles at him, each time he looks,
Up from his poetry, to send a grin back; and I know they’re in love, I can feel it,
Suddenly this photo’s in color and it’s coming to life, and I smile to myself at his fortune,
But the time is moving forward and the man, his hair is lighter,
And the woman’s movements slow, and her complexion is whiter,
The edges are bending, and her body is weakening, as he tries, and tries, to help

But the days drag on and she grows quite worse,
And the months move forward and he smiles much less,
Then soon she is wearing her burial dress, being lowered into that casket so deep,
He can’t follow her there; he can’t comfort her sleep,
And the man walks home, he is withered and old, and his heart is so tired,
The familiar chair, is waiting for him upon arrival,
It is his only comfort, besides the fire; which he never lights though it begs for revival,
But the fire was theirs, and he is alone, and his books offer comfort no more

And the color, at last, begins to fade, and the creases and wrinkles are keeping,
In the lines of regret, that etch the mans face from his weeping,
At the loss of his love, and the failure of plans, unknown but to him,
And I begin to see, why the man was so sad, while the picture dims,
Then everything was as it always had been,
I’m left holding a picture of myself, from within,
And my memories fade, like the ink from my pen.

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The effect of the progression of time on my perceived age
Date: Jul 20th, 2007 8:01:09 am - Subscribe

I would be so safe and be so free, and finally, you would love me,
Oh, everyone would, they all would see, and finally I’d be happy,
But it’s a vain pursuit, I’m a foolish boy, embracing things I thought I’d be,
Then eventually, all becomes vanity, for vanity’s sake, until I cannot see,
And I’m blinded by the lights from the camera’s flashing,
While I’m yearning for attention and neglecting it’s passing

And I’ve heard over and over again, that everything stems,
From a lack of affection or too much attention,
And I want to believe them; yes I try to believe them,
But everything’s uncertainty, and my heart’s a mess of furtive pleas,
It begs my head; pause, slow down, think carefully,
But I just rush in, to the fray blindly, and run back out, predictably

My ignorance is arrogance, my compassion is bedridden,
And I’ve tried to nurse it back to health, with kind words and kind actions,
Yet still I’m without it, but I’m compensating in fractions,
And my heart, it makes transactions, from my mind’s many attractions,
There’s no word that could describe, or poem that could tell,
Of the tired way of my plodding soul,
And my weariness, I am getting old.

Comments: (0)

Pornographic movie stars
Date: Jul 17th, 2007 12:54:40 am - Subscribe

And your words and love were fraudulent; so I tossed them down a well,
Like some pornographic movie, where the passion’s fake, as well,
And the actors are just liars, and their lines are only there to tell,
Of the universal, gospel truth that they taught to us so well,
And that is everyone and everything is going straight to hell

But while we contemplate this notion, we are strangely at a peace,
While the whole world spins and spins for us and we beg for it to cease,
So we could stop the time that’s passing by, and finally release,
All the pent up love inside of us, that we allow to increase,
But that’s not what’s coming out of us; we’re letting out the bad,
And holding all the good inside our mouths, and talking trash to all the trash

This insanity is apathy, we’re procreating fads,
While we try understand the fact that what we have is really what we’ve had,
Now, that’s not too complex for most of you, the present is the past,
So contemplate the irony of my juxtaposition, and then I’ll make one last addition,
The philosophy “you’re in control” is just an apparition

I’m not trying to frighten you, my words are just ignition.
To a spark the breeds a flame that breeds a worldwide blaze of fire,
That could melt off all the plastic on the faces of the girls,
Who think that beauty is just vanity, and love is just a mire,
That we all can get bogged down in, these are simply not the facts

My dear, let me assure you, its all about the cracks,
That we fall into on the way to work, or the fracture of a smile,
It’s about the person that you love, so much you’d walk a mile,
Just to see them for a moment, or to talk with them a while,
About the disappearing landmass or the recent rise in crime,
Or anything that makes you smile or helps to pass the time.

Comments: (1)

Speaking of problems...
Date: Jul 16th, 2007 4:29:26 pm - Subscribe

I once knew a girl with such pretty smiles,
And her heart wore a glove, to cover the guile,
Cause she needed protection, from the pains of affection,
So she created a wall between her and herself,
Some said her pride was her fault, but it’s not what she felt,
Her pride was a net, that she fell into often,
So her hands would be cleaned and her heart would be softened

But recently, I saw, she doesn’t have that net, you see,
And when she falls it’s not there, she lands in debris,
Of her past lovers lies, and her own misconceptions,
Of what love should be and the growing exceptions,
Of whom she would kiss and who they would tell,
And the flawed faulty men with whom she would dwell

But she has hope and so do I, that the next time she calls,
My hand would be there, and I’d break her fall,
Don’t act so dignified dear, it’s overrated, I swear,
You’re not who you were, but if the past, you can’t bear,
I’ll be here like I was in you’re moment’s despair

I once knew a girl with such pretty smiles,
And hers was the only one, for miles and miles.
Comments: (1)

Date: Jul 14th, 2007 1:06:31 am - Subscribe

Oh, they say innocence, it has no eyes; well, your pride has blinded me,
To the subtleties of the spoken word, and the things I used to see,
In your eyes and in your pretty hair, but now all is vanity,
And it’s becoming clearer now, I see; that I was a makeshift marquee,
I was potently potable, a drink to sustain, all the fears that you plead

I remember when you said to me, I’ll never leave, I’ll never flee,
That was then, this is now; no promise is kept, only calumnies,
But I should have let you run away; I should have let you heal,
Instead I tracked you down that night, and killed all you were in me

So, on my way home from the park, you’re memory only serves to be,
A shroud that wrenches all the light from me,
There is only darkness now, but I like it better anyways,
I don’t see my house approach, and the moon, its here to stay
And my eyes have so conveniently left me, and gone astray.

Comments: (1)

The Sound of Memory
Date: Jul 13th, 2007 11:08:12 pm - Subscribe

Just because I can’t see you doesn’t mean you’re not here,
Cause our hearts aren’t stationary, my dear,
We’re as free as the stars, but we’re stuck to the ground,
Everyone sees it but no one has found,
That the rumbling they hear, that is under our feet,
Is our love rising up, with intentions to meet,
The sun coming up from its evening’s repose,
While your hand’s holding mine and mine’s holding a rose

There are some, who say passion’s a fruitless endeavor,
That we all disappear and our love’s gone forever,
That our hearts and our stories will fade into nothing,
And the feelings we felt will be naught but retellings,
Of a past long forgotten from our memories,
But, when I look at our love, I must disagree

We are under a shelter on a table that’s marked,
With a carved declaration of a love that was sparked,
In a wet parking lot, amid great bursts of light,
While the asphalt became, then, a ballroom so bright,
And we danced then, at last, for a moment or two,
I do not need music, I only need you,
Our hair soaking wet as we ran for the car,
I was happier then than I had been, by far.

Comments: (1)

Date: Jul 12th, 2007 1:57:54 pm - Subscribe

Sometimes when I’m looking, I’ll see something new,
And suddenly everything reminds me of you,
And I’ll feel so inspired, I could write for three days,
About how I see things in three different ways

Sometimes it’s late when I’m lying in bed,
And I’ll feel like my dreams have left me for dead,
I will sing in my head and declare to the night,
“Everyone fucks up, it’ll all be alright”

But this man visits me in a dream while I sleep,
He tells me I’m wrong and he tells me I’m weak,
But the morning, it sends him running back to the sea,
And his words blow away, like dust in the breeze

Comments: (2)

Date: Jul 12th, 2007 1:57:25 pm - Subscribe

I don’t want to jump but I will and I’ll fall,
And I’ll break and renew for the sake of it all,
For the memories past and the future’s uncertain,
I’ll try and I’ll fail and make sure to detach,

From our poorly planned schemes and trite the plans we hatched,
I’ll find you in her but it won’t be the same dear,
Our lips form the words that our hearts dare not whisper,
We lived in the past and we loved in the present, hearts can’t tell time.

You’d think this was easy, it’s not when you’re dying,
To say what you want and to feign you’re complying,
We aim to hang up but it’s pointless in trying,
Don’t pretend that you’re sleeping; I know your not sleeping,
It’s obvious dear I can still hear you breathing,

We’ve cast and returned before in our lives,
Indecision departs just as prospect arrives,
We can do it again, like we’ve done it before,
We’ll look forward to plan and the past, we’ll ignore,

I can see us where we we’re just eight months ago,
We’ve climbed up so high from where we were down below,
Tears dry and hearts mend, but memory’s constant,
It was never the word, but the way that you said it.

Comments: (1)

How to be productive, or, the foot-notes of a kiss.
Date: Jul 11th, 2007 12:56:54 pm - Subscribe

I see the water fountain, sprinkled with dirt,
And I’m sweating through, this long sleeved shirt,
The lights are going down

Your headlights wink at me,
But the cars are all empty,
And I’m searching for some sign of life

Fluorescent lights hum overhead,
I hear voices in their stead,
This noise carries over the waters

I don’t feel safe; it’s much too dark,
I’m missing you; I think I’ve made a mark,
I need this more than you

I’m walking back and the trees mock my progress,
I close my eyes and stumble in darkness,
I cannot see the lights.

Comments: (0)

The fourth of July
Date: Jul 5th, 2007 12:14:58 pm - Subscribe

Oh darling, darling, let my love take you by the hand,
This isn’t fate, it’s ours; we’ll make our own demands,
Please don’t be frightened by this lack of certainty,
It’s never bothered you; so don’t start now – you’ll see

The sun is shining bright; water falls down from above,
Someday people will watch this and learn how to fall in love,
They’ll learn to play in the rain and how to feel alive,
We’ll inspire every art with the triumph of our lives

We’re walking through the woods, the trees smile as we pass,
Every hill, valley and creek sings along with us at last,
If you want we could run and hide from each prying eye,
I’d hold your hand and be the shoulder on which you cry

The people here are tiresome; run with me far away,
Lets go to this place I know, we could dance away the day,
This song is made for singing, and so are you and me,
Next time we get together we’ll both write the melody

Comments: (1)

I (dis)agree
Date: Jul 5th, 2007 12:14:07 pm - Subscribe

How vain, my acquiescence, this spurious agreement,
A spider’s web woven, from strands of our dissent,
But opaque in its nature, your time’s better spent,
In companions of merit, and friends of assent,

So if talking were easy my mouth would be open,
If my lips weren’t shut and my jaw wasn’t broken,
I’d apologize now for past and future silence,
You’d sigh of relief for my brief fleeting absence,

My repentance means nothing,
Without actions becoming,
I'll write books about building, and play in the sand,
Then I'll rave about flying, and be fixed to the land.

Comments: (0)

Date: Jul 5th, 2007 12:12:51 pm - Subscribe

I can find no achievement, past or present, that I have gained,
I’m a vacuous pit, devouring time, energy and thought,
My mind is a turbulent mass of irksome indecision,
My heart is a complacent cacophony of emotion,

No stranger to opportunity, boundless breaks befall me,
And my senseless excuses exposed; oh, perilous pity!
I cannot see possibility; when my eyes vex me so,
I fondly remember a time when discussion disposed this,

Now, if I were a stranger, being twice removed from myself,
But I am not; I am pealing out, self praise and reveling,
If I was humble, or biddably bashful beyond compare,
But I’m not; I’m the vain verbose villain that I vilify,

I could praise my clever clarity, and fame frivolity,
Rather my words have become both deceptive and designing,
I may ponder peril poised, or aggrandize artistic feats,
But I pine for swift cessation from these bitter, boastful bonds.

Comments: (0)

Affections Repose
Date: Jul 5th, 2007 12:11:32 pm - Subscribe

Tonight I discovered that I was weaker than I knew,
And my pre-planned defenses fell in plain view,
I worked and built and strived and grew,
But it paled in priority compared to you.

Impervious to ignorance after initiation,
Precise concise strikes in rapid succession,
Her gaze flanks my will without retaliation,
The probability of discomfort afflicts my station.

Curiosities assail, while efforts avail me,
Distraught by advances which do not entail thee,
If I try and I fail and mine eyes feign to see,
I am no more a man than he who is free.

Comments: (0)

Insincere Accolades
Date: Jul 5th, 2007 12:10:15 pm - Subscribe

So our lips dripped of insincere accolades as they tarnish my good reputation,
And if hindsight were foresight and the past was the present I'd whisper a soft indignation,
No pity forthcoming or remorse becoming, just rage mixed with distaste,
I despise what you've made me; my words echo your intricate waste

Complacency's complex; simplicity's active; my lesson is learned from the mean,
It's a small price to pay for the knowledge that everything hidden is seen,
When I think back on this I'll compare motives with facts
They wont stand up strong like you; pride supporting your acts

Your disguise begs detachment but my eyes beg to differ,
My bravery's waxing, not waning as my confidence withers,
Now if the end is so bleak I might question the beginning.
This isn't a game darling, no one is winning

Comments: (0)

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