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tear I don't want to be afaid anymore - Subscribe



Lullabys look in your eyes
Such a same this face never hides
Changing your mask
and your face quickly desguises
Turn around see what youve become

I need help with this poem.
0 Comments
Mood: Nothing much you

tear Sleep Depreived Jul 27th, 2006 7:22:01 am - Subscribe


I'm very fucking paranoied right now, Not knowing whats going to be being me when I turn around. Not knowing whose watching me, Listening to me. I dislike this anxiety.

I have been sleep depeived for the past little while If I'm realllly lucky, a good bedtime for me is around 3. Thats early.
Its been around 3:30,ish a.m.

And I'am hating it.

Things will work out for me....things will get better...things will be ok.
1 Comments
Mood: feverish

tear SLEEEEP Jul 26th, 2006 10:07:06 am - Subscribe
ANXIETY=NOT GOOD TONIGHT

I need to go to a safe place.

Noices all around me.
I can't stand.
Static Controlling.
But there is no sound.
Your screaming so softly
But it is so loud
I whisper to you


1 Comments
Mood: complete

tear Vanilla Sex Jul 24th, 2006 7:19:32 pm - Subscribe


I need to just fucking relax and focus on my writing waaay more. I need to stop fucking thinking about people, and worrying and being upset by every fucking little thing, Thinking there is someting wrong with me. Because there fucking isn't. Its just other peoples problems. Fucking hate me if you want, Fucking judge me.

I don't care about what people think about me anymore. Its your loss, not mine. I'm sick of feeling/being used. Fucking cunts.

Just Breathe, And not fucking focusing on peoples shit and things. GAH.
5 Comments
Mood: worn

tear Denial Jul 24th, 2006 8:57:48 am - Subscribe
Hey...It took me alot to write this, So PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING STEAL IT OR I WILL HAUNT U DOWN

Enjoy:


At least you have someone to hold you tight at night
While tears streaming down your face
Thoughts drifting into something else
This night has never been so right
But Felt so wrong.

His words never seemed so real
His words never seemed so fake
All I could see I could never feel
And all I want I could never make

Words never seemed so real
Feelings never felt like this
Tremple with me in this fear
As we dance to the song of the night.

Pieces falling into place
Your grip becomes tighter
We both can’t deny this

His Words that come never sound
From on this cliff there was no ground
I’m falling to the ground far below
I saw you walking away long ago
4 Comments
Mood: longing

tear BLLLLAHDHIFHfgsr Jul 24th, 2006 7:28:54 am - Subscribe

I'm fucking tied up with emotions right now. FuckFuckFuckFuck FUCKKKK.
I need you, I need to talk to you, Come online...My anxiety is bothering meee.
0 Comments
Mood: philosophical

velouria ANNIE is over :( Jul 24th, 2006 3:37:42 am - Subscribe
Well...last time I wrote, I was beginning practice for ANNIE.
We just had our final performance this afternoon. It was sad!
I'll post some pictures...
1 Comments
Mood: sad
yes: ANNIE

tear Fuck age, Fuck innocence. Jul 21st, 2006 9:07:09 pm - Subscribe
I'm beginning not to care abou tthings right now. Mother, stop your fucking complaining and whining. We all don't want to hear it.

The summer heat is making everyone a mess. Everyone in this house atleast. Guitar soon. I'm overjoyed. I can't wait. I want to make music, and make people smile.

I want to smile.

Could of gone camping this weekend with folk on Mt.Benson, Having the fucking time of my life, But alas, no. I'm stuck here.

I dream about Victoria, I dream about the things I want to be, the things in my head...that I want it to be. Maybe it will happen, I have to do something about it, and quit my laziness. Its up to me now to change my life. Fuck you Nanaimo. Fuck youuu.

I wonder what it will be like when I meet boy, when I see boy. Awkward?yes?
Magical?maybe?. Only time can tell.



2 Comments
Mood: classy

tear I play with fire Jul 21st, 2006 5:44:35 am - Subscribe


Mother is being a fucking crunk. I think I'm gunna fucking take a walk tonight, possibally around 2ish? I love late night walks. I can feel free in the wind.

I like a litle Mystery, I find it sexy, like wanted to no more and more.
1 Comments
Mood: reserved

tear I fucking love you. Jul 20th, 2006 7:57:04 am - Subscribe

Sooo I was chatting to Geofff tonight and I just decided to drop it on him.

ME : "Can I tell you something?"
"I really fucking like you"

G: "I'm not gunna lie, I really dig you too!"
Whens the next time your coming here"

God.
He makes my night. I fucking love everything about him.


Sweet dreams

0 Comments
Mood: wacky

tear I'm a ghost. Jul 19th, 2006 5:32:34 am - Subscribe




I think someone should fucking visit me, or fucking watch a movie with me, or cuddle with me. Fuck.

So I'm sitting here and listening to Red hot chili peppers. Being bored. I wish I had someone right now to love. Because I have alot of love in me to give...and I crave love, a relationship. Argh matey.

I feel like I've been waiting forever for somebody to come, and noone is coming.


3 Comments
Mood: sane

tear Will you ever feel okay Jul 18th, 2006 2:00:48 am - Subscribe
Sunrise, Sunset"

Sunrise, sunset.
Sunrise, sunset.
Swiftly go the days.
Sunrise, sunset.
You wake up, then you undress.
It always is the same.
A sunrise and a sunset.
You are lying while you confess, keep trying to explain.
The sunrise and the sun sets you realize
and then you forget what you have been trying to retain.
But everybody knows that it is all about the things
that get stuck inside of your head,
like the songs your roommate sings
or a vision of her body as she stretches out on your bed.
She raised her hands in the air and asked you,
When was the last time you looked in the mirror?
Because you have changed.
Yeah, you have changed.
Sunrise, sunset.
You are hopeful and then you regret.
The circle never breaks.
With each sunrise and sunset there is a change of heart or address.
Is there nothing that remains?
For a sunrise or a sunset.
You are manic or you're depressed.
Will you ever feel ok?
It's a sunrise and sunset, your lover is an actress.
Did you really think she would stay?
For a sunrise and sunset.
You are either coming or you just left but you are always on the way.
Towards a sunrise or a sunset, a scribble or a sonnet.
They are really just the same.
To the sunrise and the sunset.
The master and his servant have exactly the same fate.
It's a sunrise and a sunset.
From a cradle to a casket.
There ain't no way to escape.
The sunrise and the sunset.
Hold your sadness like a puppet, just keep putting on the play.
But everything you do is leading to the point
where you just won't know what to do.
And at that moment you may laugh
but there is someone there who will be laughing louder than you.
So it's true, the trick is complete.
Now you have become everything you said that you never would be.
You're a fool! You're a fool!
Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset.
The sunrise and the sunset.
Sunrise, sunset.
Go home to your apartment
and put the cassette in the tape deck and let that fever play.
Sunrise, sunset.
Where are you Arienette?
Where are you Arienette?


Bright Eyes.
1 Comments
Mood: fancy

tear Bad actors with bad habits. Jul 17th, 2006 4:32:37 am - Subscribe
Your hands on me pressing hard against your jeans, your tounge inmy mouth, trying hard to keep the words from coming out, you didn't care to know who else may have been you before.

I want a lover I don't have to love. I want a girl whose to sad to give a fuck. Where is the kid with the chemicals, he said to meet him here but I'm not sure.
3 Comments
Mood: confident

frost Howto: Secure Your Wireless Network Jul 10th, 2006 8:53:36 pm - Subscribe
Howto: Secure Your Wireless Network
by FrosT

Introduction
Securing your wireless network is essential to businesses and for personal use. With how easy it is to secure your wireless network there should be no excuse for your network to go un-secured. Let's start off with the essentials for securing a wireless network.

Wireless Network Security Tools
First off you will need a router if you do not already have one. A wireless router plays multiple roles in securing your wireless network. First it provides a hardware firewall. Hardware firewalls are great because they work a ton better than software firewalls and your computer does not have to run the extra software; which in return means you get better performance from your computer. Next, wireless routers allow you to control your wireless settings, as for wireless access points I am not sure of. Having total control of the name, whether to broadcast the SSID, or having the wireless network encrypted is essential for your personal security.

If you chose to get a router or not you will need software to generate a WEP Encrypted 128-bit Key. I say to get the software because whether the router has the feature enabled or not, the WEP key generator software is very handy to have incase a friend says, "To get into my wireless simply use the passphrase 'duck124n0th3r0k!@'" you can gain access to his wireless network. If you want to use the passphrase download the Free WEP Key Passphrase Generator. If you need a quick WEP Key you can use this Free WEP Key Online Generator.

Now that we have certain security tools needed to secure our wireless network, let's get started.

Generating a WEP Encrypted Key
Generating a WEP Encrypted Key requires certain precautions. First of all do not use a weak WEP Passphrase, such as "Duck1". The weaker the passphrase the easier it is for someone to go through with a Dictionary cracker and gain access to your wireless network. The standard I use when generating any passphrase is to make it at least 15 characters, lower and uppercase letters, 3 different numbers, 5 different letters and at least 2 special characters. For instance I would say I have a dog named Hubert who is 14 and we go Hubert in the year 2001. HuB3rT@20!01mYd0G.10-02. Where there may be a slight chance that I would remember this if I ever lost my WEP Encrypted Key.

I would suggest before downloading any software check your router to see if the router offers a free WEP Encrypted Key Generator. If it does that generator will do just fine for encrypting our passphrase for us.

Allowing Certain MAC Addresses
For more security you can take another step to allow only certain MAC addresses. A Mac address is located on a modem, router, hub, Ethernet card, or wireless network card. Everyone has a different and unique MAC address that stays static. Most routers allow for you to Allow/Disallow certain MAC addresses. This step can be considered overkill. It just depends on how secure you want your Wireless Network to be. In order to only allow specified MAC Addresses you need to gather the MAC Address from any computer you want to access your Wireless Network.

To grab the MAC Address of the Wireless Network Card simply turn on that particular computer and go to Start than to Run type "CMD" (without quotes) and hit "Ok" than on the screen that pops-up type "ipconfig" (without the quotes). You should see a list of Local Area Connections; grab the one that looks like your wireless card. Write the number/letters down and enter into the Router. This will allow that Wireless Network Card with that MAC Address to gain access to your wireless network. Repeat this step for multiple cards/computer/laptops. Once you have the entire list of wireless network cards that you need on the list simply save it.

Ending Notes
Securing your Wireless Network is a great idea no matter who you are. I highly suggest the WEP Key with MAC Address filtering. Just remember that hackers and crackers are out there and these steps provided are prone to be broken into. At least make them work for getting access to your wireless network. Trust me; taking these steps will eliminate 95% of people from breaking into your wireless network. Just remember I take no responsibility for any damages done or caused by these steps, use at your own risk and if the data is sensitive enough do it through a Hardwired network.
1 Comments
Mood: Wireless
yes: wireless, wep, key, free, generator, passphrase, encrypted, security, tools, network, mac, address, filter

tear Summer love and sadness don't go well together Jul 1st, 2006 2:52:41 am - Subscribe


Lala.

I want to be fucking intreged by someone, someone who will share there love and heart with meee. I keep on leaving him comments on his blog. At this point, it doesn't matter much. He'll have Bree. She'll have him. Why come it feels like some girls fucking have it all. She won't release how lucky she is.

Ohwell.
I have a feeling that someday, Oneday perhaps we will be together.

Fuck
I sound like a fool.
0 Comments
Mood: inspired

tear I wish love could defeat lust... Jun 27th, 2006 9:44:26 pm - Subscribe
Summer. Summer. Summer.

The heat seems to be rushing to my brain, with uncontroable speed. Every night I find myself, tosing and turning. I love getting no sleep in the summer. I saw Tina yesterday. We went to the beaccch. Smoked alotg of weed. Shes an amazing girl. I really like her. How do I tell her that. I need to get to know her better...And find out what she thinks of me.

I'd certainly be right if I just said summer romance is a worthless peice of time. To me, Thats what makes the summer worthwhile. Is the romance. Anyways. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.

Seeya.

2 Comments
Mood: organized

frost Backup Registry Using Windows NTBACKUP Jun 26th, 2006 11:54:48 pm - Subscribe
Backup Registry Using Windows NTBACKUP
by FrosT

Introduction
Backing up Windows Registry can prove very helpful well your system goes corrupt. The act of backing up data can be very wise and is an operation that is practiced by many. Today I will describe to you how to backup core files in a Windows XP system using programs that comes with Microsoft Windows. Particularly the software called NTBackup. Well let's dive right in to the world of Backups.

Installing NTBackup Windows XP Pro
NTBackup is an essential part of backing up important Window files such as Registry settings and boot settings. Since we need NTBackup let's make sure you have it. If you have Windows XP Pro, it should have been installed by default. In order to access NTBackup you must click Start > Programs (or All Programs) > Accessories > System Tools > Backup If the program loads up, great! We are one step closer. If nothing seems to happen, NTBackup does not work or NTBackup just hangs on the "Loading Devices" screen try these steps to fix the NTBackup hangs problem remember DO NOT open more instances!
  1. Navigate to %SystemRoot%/System32/NtmsData
  2. Rename the file NTMSDATA to NTMSDATA.back
  3. If you did not End Process on ntbackup, wait for a minute or two, something should happen.


If you are still having issues with NTBackup even after renaming the ntmsdata file, try to reboot the system and follow those instructions BEFORE running Backup from the start menu. If all else fails try to re-install NTBackup by downloading ntbackup.msi. This NTBackup should work for you if everything else fails.

Installing NTBackup on Windows XP Home
Windows XP Home does not come with NTBackup installed by default. If you still have the Windows XP Home CD you can get the NTBackup file off that under the ValueAdd directory or you can make it easy on yourself and just download the file above and use that for the NTBackup installation. I will leave that up for you to decide.

Using NTBackup on Windows XP
Now that you have installed NTBackup and have the problems of NTBackup hanging up on you fixed let's Backup our Windows State. Windows State backups all important system files including Registry. Basically what I would do is wait until you have all the programs you will need installed, installed and than run the backup of Windows State, as I do not know if NTBackup will mess up any new programs installed, USE AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.

Once the initial NTBackup screen comes up click "Advanced." Clicking Advanced should pull up a Backup Utility with 3 options. Backup Wizard, Restore Wizard, and Automated System Recovery. Click on the Backup Wizard option. A wizard screen should be viewable now, click next. Now chose the radio button to "Only back up the System State Data." Click the Browse button and find a suitable place to store the Backup of your Windows System State Data which include the Registry. When a suitable place has been selected click Next and than Finish. Now your Windows Registry and all important Windows files should start backing up. This process should only take about 5-10 minutes.

NTBackup Process has Completed
Now that the NTBackup process has completed I would highly suggest storing this information on a separate hard drive, CD, or USB Jump Drive. Incase you get any virus's or bugs on your computer system you have the important Windows files backed up! To restore the backed up Windows System State data simply open up the Backup Utility and click the Restore Wizard and follow the instructions.

Ending Notes
Now that we have our important windows files and registry backed up you can breathe easier that NTBackup helped you through this process. At least Windows provided you with a backup program. Remember that this may not be 100% fool proof. I would suggest backing up all data to a separate location before you go crazy modifying any Windows based files or Registry keys.

DISCLAIMER: I take no responsibility for any actions you take that may harm your own system due to this tutorial. You do this at your own risk knowing that anything can happen. Basically be careful when changing settings on your computer as I am not responsible for any actions you take.
4 Comments
Mood: perky
yes: ntbackup, backup, windows, registry

frost Remove Automatic Restart After Windows Updates Jun 16th, 2006 8:20:23 pm - Subscribe
Remove Automatic Restart After Windows Updates
by FrosT

Introdcution
Windows has always been a pain in the butt. Today's story is no different. Everyone who has a Windows machine has Windows Update, which chances are is turned to on. In the past few months I noticed Windows added an extra annoyance to Windows Updates. Anytime you install a Windows Update that requires you to restart your computer, you must restart it or be annoyed with a pop-up message every 10 minutes that gives you 5 minutes to decline or have your Windows system reboot automatically. Well thanks to some careful internet searching I have found your solution!

Windows, Let Me Chose to Restart!
Well I for one have been fed up with Windows Updates automatic restart from day one. Once I found out that it will reboot my computer, even if I am not there, really ticked me off. Reason being is I like to convert AVI files to MPG for burning onto a DVD. Well the process for converting an AVI file to an MPG file can be time consuming, so it requires at least 1 hour for a 400 MB AVI file. What I do is start the conversion process in the morning and when I get home for work viola my AVI file has been successfully converted to an MPG file, or has it? Well Windows Update has screwed me many times, enough to where I disabled Windows Update completely. I do not like the fact that I will not ever receive any more updates because now I am potentially vulnerable.

After months of searching for maybe a registry hack to disable this automatic restart after Windows Update, updates I finally found the solution. Yes, I am going to be nice enough to share the information on how you can prevent Windows Update from automatically restarting your personal computer!

Removing the Automatic Restart After Windows Updates
Just a short disclaimer, I will take no responsibility for any action you chose to take regarding this article. After you read this article, you are liable for any adverse effects this may cause to yours or someone else's computer.

Alright, first off let's click the Start button. Once the menu pulls up we can click on "Run". Now you should have a field to type in, let's type "gpedit.msc" and hit enter. Once the screen comes up click the + next to "Local Group Policy" than "Computer Configuration" than "Administrative Template" than click on the "Windows Updates" folder. In here you will find a bunch of different variables. If you click on them in the right pane there should be some definitions of what each one does. I will not go in-depth on all of them because you can obviously read. The key we are looking for is "No auto-restart for scheduled Automatic Updates Installations". Right click on that value and hit properties. Now click on Enabled, than hit "Apply" and "Ok". Now close the Console1 window. It will prompt you to save, choose "Yes" and than "Save". Now that you have saved the settings a reboot is necessary for the policy to take effect.

Ending Notes
Now you have successfully stopped Windows Updates from automatically restarting your computer after updates have been installed. If you have any contributions to make to this tutorial feel free to do so. Breathe easier as you can now have your computer fully updated all the time without having to re-boot!
63 Comments
Mood: remove
yes: remove, automatic, updates, restart, windows

Velouria ---We got ANNIE!--- Jun 15th, 2006 10:38:20 pm - Subscribe
Wow...long time since I made an entry. I am in a very small production of the musical, ANNIE. I have a few small parts...my first time doing an entire musical hehe
I'm excited about it!

umm....I'll write more later haha
1 Comments
Mood: fabulous

tear Lovelovelove Jun 10th, 2006 9:19:48 pm - Subscribe

Hey allll
Long time no post...I'min Victoria now...Its much better than being home I must say. I don't want to put much on hereee...things are going a tad better I guess. I miss some people. I hope everyoneeees welll and rad. Lovelove.
0 Comments
Mood: smitten