she_says's Blog

boyfriend replacement
Date: Jan 29th, 2006 4:25:34 am - Subscribe
Mood: pathetic


i miss him.





i miss him terribly. ive never felt so pathetic in my life.

just reviewing the events of the past two months, i finally can see how it all happened. how could i have missed all the signs? they were right in front of me. of course i should have known that my best friend was betraying me right before my eyes.

it was too much to take. it all happened so fast. next thing i knew i had lost my best friend of 7 years, and him. i took so much time telling him that the timing was not right, that he just moved on by the time i was ready.

and now hes gone.
and hes with her.
and she cares about him. she really does.

and i dont know if he feels the same way about her. i dont know anything anymore.


and i have mark. and hes great. he really is.

i just dont feel it.

i cant make myself feel for mark what i felt for him

and i just know that im going to break down tonight and call him and sound pathetic.

i knew that i didnt feel the same way for mark that i did for him when he said "do you like mark?" and i said "none of your business."

i couldnt lie.


im tired of lying. especially to myself.


i dont know what to do anymore.
Comments: (4)

velouria - January 29th, 2006 I'm sorry to hear you're hurting! Just be true to yourself

tear - January 29th, 2006 love

deina-kun - January 29th, 2006 "Bid me discourse, and I will enchant thine ear." - Shakespeare I hope things get better for you, and with time things will eventually sort themselves out. Don't become bitter over the things that have happened and look forward to the new tomorrow where anything is bound to happen. Like what valouria stated above, "Just be true to yourself," you've taken a first step by keeping from lying. I hope things turn out well for you. (:

deathcab4u - January 29th, 2006 Peace. I hope things pull together.

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