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shienna07angel If Only I Could - Subscribe
Time passes by like a strike of lighting. And indeed, it has been months since the moment he first spoke to me. No idea of what will happen, I embraced the idea of conversing with him. It has been really good. We chat and chat and definitely we got closer. From chat, we divulge to personal things together, watching movies; eating ice cream and cake; play computer games and many more. My friend once told me that I have a tendency to fall to someone I am used to be with every single day. My reaction? I laughed it all loud and told her, “No I am not that kind of person”. Yet the thing is, I am. I am having this strange feeling at first, I could not stand the time I can’t see him; I am always hoping for our getaways together; jealousy hit me… I am so desperate… so desperately in love as I hurtfully realized. I am lured to the dungeons of gentleness and to the hidden treasures of a beautiful smile. I just can’t stop myself; I just can’t help it. I am singing a song of which the melody is what my heart proclaims to be true. I sometimes have the urged to tell him to listen to my music nevertheless, I can’t. I am so damn afraid. Afraid that the person I am offering my song can’t sing the chorus with me. I have the feeling that he can’t see me the way I see him. His eyes I know are settled for me, as his friend but his heart? I don’t think so. It is certainly a painful reality. I am diving into the pool of nothingness consequently; there is still this benefit of the doubt. What if he knew, would things be in sync with me? Or would it break the bond strengthened by friendship?
Mood: affectionate
music: Out of Reach

shienna07angel Meaning of OT Nov 30th, 2009 4:00:04 pm - Subscribe
When I was still a college student, I really thought of WORK as an escape to all of those huge piles of study materials, assignments, projects and most especially exams. As a student in a well-known university, there is a great pressure to really do your best. That would mean, you have to have a high grade and definitely pass everything. It requires a three-day no sleep just to finish certain project and etc. That is why I am really looking forward to “graduation day” and to what I mentioned earlier “WORK”. I was glad I was able to get a job just right after graduation.

Indeed, I am working on my field, “Research and Development Engineer” or otherwise known as “Software Engineer”. I am so happy to have my first job and certainly, so happy to meet new personalities. But as I move along, TOUGH had its way. I never thought that this would be so difficult yet so great. It is the pain and glory working together as one. I never thought that this kind of work would require overtime. YES. Overtime would mean can’t-go-home-and-can’t-go-to-bed-and-sleep thing. And yesterday was the… let’s say the worst of all my overtimes. We were working in a holiday and staying at the office the whole night just to finish the client’s demands and all. Well, “cheer up” others might have said. It is really the other means to get extra money.

Yeah right… it is so tiring… but why do I say it was GREAT then? I can’t really also comprehend. But what I felt was that, I felt so happy being with the team in which amidst through the pressures, we were still able to laugh everything all out. Jokes here, funny insults there… it’s kinda refreshing. Overtime doesn’t really mean to work on all the hours, but also to take a break and explore the outsides of the office just to look for coffee. Riding a taxi to go to some coffee shops and arguing whose gonna pay for the taxi bill. And the best thing I experienced was that, you really could appreciate the essence of REST. You can close your eyes and smile for you have accomplished your targets.

Definitely yesterday was my worst but deep inside my beating emotions, I am looking forward for another fun this worst OT will give.
Mood: sleepless

shienna07angel Alone with U Nov 30th, 2009 4:14:22 pm - Subscribe
maybe I am just a fool for you...

maybe you're no angel too...

but all that talk is cheap...

when I'm alone with you...

Mood: affectionate
music: how can i not love you?