Watching you invisibly, knowing that there's nothing I can do to help.
Date: May 23rd, 2006 9:10:47 pm - Subscribe
Mood: Painting my name across the sky, hoping you look up to see....
Music: Sounds of life passing by.

A world unlike any other found its way into my daydreams, but was lost after only a few moments of wandering around.

Have you ever had that sinking feeling? The one that grips onto your heart, trying to choke it as it moves up into your throat and deep down into your stomach? Does it feel as though an invisible person punched you, leaving you without enough oxygen in the air to grasp on to? Some call it that guilty feeling, while most say you deserve it. "Times are changing," they say while swinging the world on a string from side to side. "Why don't you get with the program and get over it? No use in crying or whining about it- it's over, done, finito! You said yes, when your brain was still deciding. That's your fault."

I stare at these people, blank eyed with weary hands.

"Change is supposed to be good- you've read the books, right?"

I nod, not sure of what else to say; not sure of what to do; not sure of anything any more.

"Good... good..." they mutter, pulling up on the string and sending the world spiraling to one side; the earthquake that hit the temple of my mind turning into screams that even hell heard and laughed about for years to come.

Friends tell you that they will never lie. But when the time comes to ask them what is the purpose for the distant look across their melting faces, they do just that, and another part of them disappears from your view. The web of lies they tangled themselves around has grown into an impenetrable forest, as two menacing red eyes peer out, pulling you in, and sucking away life in goblets of blood. In a matter of moments, they'll be gone forever- nothing more than a faded memory of a friend you once had.

"Change is a good thing. I want you to repeat that over and over until you believe it."

"Change is a good thing... Change is a good thing... Change...."


"Is trying to win a war it was never supposed to fight."

They bury corpses like they do lies. Six feet under with no way to climb out. Just a faint recollection of something that seems like a lucid dream. Just the kind of thing you want over just so you can forget it ever happened. Denial is not just a river in Egypt, it's the flood that will trigger the apocalypse. Too late to fight it now. They've already stabbed someone else in the back.

"Let's try it again," they say, watching me with eyes to kill. "What is change?"

I lick my dry lips, my eyes coming up dead. There's no point in fighting the inevitable now. There goes another friend, killed by the one she trusted the most. But this one doesn't even realize the crime she committed- she's too lost in her own misery to see the effect it has on others. One less person to live for.

Another friend is gone, lost to a world of a broken heart. He says nothing, does nothing; is nothing. Just a hollow shell with no recollection of life. And then there's another, who can't seem to find out what path to take. Confused, lost, hopeless- lost on a trail that can only end up tragic. One less person to live for.

The voice is stricter now, as the sickening sound of a free trigger is heard.

"One last chance," they say, but I don't see them. I'm no longer in the room with destiny. I'm no longer the person everyone hid the truth from. I'm no longer the hypocrite. "What is change?"

I look at them with uncaring eyes.

"A disease."

Comments: (14)

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everystep - May 24th, 2006
I loved your wording on this. Very creative. Great use of imagry and metaphors.


lost_souls - May 24th, 2006
Have I ever told you how great of a writer you are? I wish I was as good at something as you are at this.
Same as what everystep said.


lost_souls - June 28th, 2006
Thanks. That makes me feel a bit better about everything I'm feeling...I thought maybe I was crazy or something. But you're completely right about it all. So thanks. I hope I get to see them soon too.


misty_rain - July 09th, 2006
You write very beautifully.


lost_souls - July 11th, 2006
That helped. A lot, actually. Thanks so much.


end-of - July 18th, 2006
I love this entry so much. Awesome work. You have a lot of talent as a writer. I really look forward to more.


rain_drop - August 01st, 2006
i are a great really can't think of anything else to say.

snakebite - August 04th, 2006
Oh woooow. You're a really good writer. =]
I'll look forward to reading more ^_^


tron - August 14th, 2006
impressive. I only hope that the pain is less acute than it seems to be here.


lost_souls - August 15th, 2006
Thank you. I guess it was pretty fantastic. =D


emogirlie - August 22nd, 2006
nice imagery. happy.gif


lost_souls - September 14th, 2006
Thanks. So much. I find myself saying that a lot to you. I really do owe you. That helped more than you know.

We'll see what my brain says in the morning...


lost_souls - January 08th, 2007
Heheh thanks. I don't know how much earth-shaking I'll be doing, but we'll see.


lost_souls - January 13th, 2007
I hope it's something I can be proud of too. We'll see how it goes I guess. But it is a really good way to deal with everything unpleasant. =]


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