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Well been MIA for awhile. Moved to Cali... then moved back home. Lots of drama within that time frame. Try not to think about it... helps a lil bit. Fell in love yet again. It SEEMED so right. I dont think i'll ever find that again. And now to top it off his new gf's preggers. JOY! haha. after the sacrifice i made for him hes happy with "their" new child. well i guess thats life. you're blinded till it hits you right in the face then your left in awe at how cruel it can be. *secretly i hope she miscarries and his balls fall off* <3dorkia |
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Is it possible to like one guy and have crushes on two other guys? hmmm..... well either way no chance with any.... i miss chester and his liprings. and his lovely hair. i wanna run my hands through it just one more time. i want him to tell me what he wanted to and supposedly forgot. but i haven't seen him in soooo long. he said he was gonna get in contact with me, he'd find a way. i fell for that. hahaha just letting me down easy. *sigh* well it was nice just thinking and hanging out just him and I. cooter likes someone. sashy likes my cousin who he doesn't know. chester is MIA |
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I'm usually the one who takes care of everyone when they're drunk "MamaDor" they call me. But lately I've been getting drunk every weekend after... my friends are all concerned. the ones that really care. I'm concerned too cause everytime i get drunk i seem to make out with someone. any guy or girl will do. then the regrets come. But drinking has become my refuge, my outlet, my joy. It makes me numb and happy when i'm sad and depressed. fuck i feel like a whore. i mean i don't sleep with them but still. sometimes i come soooo close. so close. i'm a slut. "your becoming the people we hate" "i'm sorry" lessthanthree |
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Went to Hard Rock got pissed ass drunk. Danced with Jason and Sash. Jumped out of a moving car, ate at Kings. Went to the hotel made out with jen, pappy, and roman. went back to kings with the guys and barfed in the bathroom. Jason took me home at 6:30. He's making it impossible to turn away. |
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Apparently my plan of "no guys" didn't work. He penetrated me and now I'm his. BASTARD! He won't ever see me that way, for he has "someone" But it's always been that way. Me wanting something I can never have. And to top it all off..... I still love my bestfriend. Oh bother. ahh to leave you with that depressing stuff is sad soooo on a better note WORK IS GOOD!!!! get paid on Friday. woopwoop. |
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Xmas dinner is coming up and I don't have a date. Doria is going STAG! woopwoop. I love your drunken words and expressions. |
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loves true colors. should have done something but i've done it enough by the way my hands were shaking rather waste some time with you. I've learned my lesson and I'm not gonna fall for you again. Never again please. *crosses fingers* |
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I'm so fucking pissed right now. One of my good guy friends was talking about killing himself because his girlfriend who as of now lives in Korea broke it off. I hate it when people commit suicide or think about because of heartburn. IT'S PART OF LIFE! You don't really expect going through life without feeling heartburn do you? I mean sure it hurts like FUCK i know from experience but that doesn't mean that noones gonna come around and make you forget or make you feel even better. And sure it might also end up in heartburn but you just dust yourself off and pick up your heart from the floor and continue on. ugh. i really need a drink. On a better note. ymereJ doesn't like me. How do i know? I just feel it. oh poo. get over it already sucka. |
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leave it to me to make an ass out of myself in front of a shit load of people. Got krunk and kept leaning on everyone and almost falling down. Ha! would be funny if a relative saw me and told mother dearest about it. FUCK IN SHIT! she hates when i drink. why can't she be like my dad I'M FUCKING 19!!!!! good golly miss molly. Went to HardRock and sat with Jeremy. okay he soooo doesn't like me. oh well get over it. Hung out with Jason. He's sooo hot. rubbed Calvin's nipples. Chi gave me a breast exam. I want a cuddle buddy 
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Luke says: reading and using your hands only counts if you are blind Luke says: and if you keep that up you will be |
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He smiles at her and brings her closer She goes willingly, blinded by her dreams He whispers in her ear everything she wants to hear She pulls him closer thinking she’s ready He takes and gives her everything she wanted Calls left unanswered as doubts creep into her mind He pulls away from her and walks away She cries and wonders what she’s done wrong He laughs in her face as he rips her heart out of her chest She lies crumpled on the floor too weak to cry Isn't love grand? |
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I made out with his friend and kinda like him but i prolly won't ever see him again and he won't like me. But chatting with Jason makes me feel all tingly inside. *sigh* |
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Ha! I seem to always fall for them no matter what i do. They just can't seem to see past my outside. But hey i can settle for being their "friend" I just want to say FUCK YOU! I DON'T NEED TO BE YOUR FRIEND! I DON'T NEED YOU! ......but i really do. 
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