Date: 9/20/2012 10:47 - Subscribe
Mood: 🙉🙈🙊

What empowers me? I ask. My career, my son the people I care for everyday. All those in a positive light.

3 months into my career and I must say, I was meant for this. All my other jobs previous just helped me along the way. I can communicate with my patients in so many different ways. The meaning of touch has an array of colors in nursing. Skin, emotions and heart. I touch all of those.

So here I am trying to settle into "my life". All curves and corners have made their way into the puzzle peices of my life. Except for this same agonistic issue.

I know I deserve that one missing aspect in my life. It's hard to meet someone eye-to-eye when you are both in a different profession, or in his case--a different breed. I can't help myself in saying these things because its exactly how I feel. Excluded. Not a part of "that feeling".

They say love is free. But they don't tell you the cost it takes to find the right kind. It comes in many shapes, forms and expressions. The most expensive is named true. It's rare, hard to find. I guess the question is comfort vs. happiness. My comfort has buried my happiness. I am here. He is here, but not like I want him to be.

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Set me free
Date: 2/02/2011 08:13 - Subscribe
Mood: invincible

Im almost there. By next Tuesday I will sit and take my boards and become and licensed health professional..Ive been studying since December and its been tiring me out. Just when I thought I graduated in Dec. (I did but really, this felt like school all over again). Crossing my fingers, toes, hairs, asking for all my good Karma and well wishes for this test. I need it the most on tuesday..so I can live my life. The life I put on hold for the last 4-5 years to work, go to school, BREATH, be a mom...and finally..Im gonna set myself free..
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Gray days
Date: 12/22/2010 05:00 - Subscribe
Mood: off

What I do would to be back here again..I was a free soul..walking along the beach of Hawaii. High in the sky, headphones on and skipping along the beach like a 5 year old. Not a care in the world.

Now 7 months have past and Im in a different light. Just two days ago, Ive decided to try to refocus my life. Tried to understand the present day instead of my destination, and love each day as it is given.

No matter how much goodness comes to your life, there will always be someone or some people who know how to damper your joy.

I have learned that the key to being happy is learning more about oneself. Disciplining your mind, actions, emotions and being fully aware of oneself. I have yet to know me. I am slowly finding out that I am a sensitive being....An image of sturdiness with an inside of tenderness. I am okay with that. I am learning to accept me for who I am.

If you can't change something or someone in your life, change yourself.

I think I can close that chapter...at least Im gonna try.
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Date: 10/25/2010 05:25 - Subscribe
Mood: emo

Sad to say, Im looking for answers in all the wrong places. Sometimes I wonder why I am the way i am. and why I do what I do. Situations in life sometimes make me want to just leave the gg. Its such a small world here, everyone is connected or knows someone in some way or another. I just dont think its fair. I hate it. What I really need to do is focus on myself. Its almost time for me to shine. I have a lot of issues that I havent resolved. Supressed issues I refuse to deal with. Time heals all..and man do I need the time to hurry the fuck up. Wounds still seeping. So until then, gotta focus on me. I need to believe that He already has a plan for me. One thing is permanent and thats family. You dont get to choose. Youre just born into it.
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Eat, Pray, Love
Date: 9/20/2010 01:30 - Subscribe
Mood: Sometimes I forget, Im really blessed!

That movie, was awesome. Very inspirational. Especially for a person such as myself.

"Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."
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