Date: Apr 27th, 2011 12:42:13 pm - Subscribe
The point of changing bad habits is so that one may replace them with good habits.
On a brighter note, I'm here in the computer lab next to my chem class updating my Aeonity blog even though I should be in class right now. W00t! I should do this more often. Not ditch class, but I should update this thing more often. Alright, I got stuff to work on, I'll come back to this if I finish on time.
Date: Apr 23rd, 2011 3:06:33 pm - Subscribe
I wrote a super long update on how I've been doin and JUST as I pressed "Create Entry", someone messed with the internet downstairs. This is unfortunate. Sorry ya'll. I'll update some other day.
Date: Feb 8th, 2010 3:57:44 am - Subscribe
I watched porn today. FAIL.
I cannot watch it a second time. If I watch it a second time, watching porn will become a habit. FOR SURE.
Sometimes I feel hopeless. I feel like I fail too many times. I feel like there are too many things wrong with me.
I'm a QT leader + Praise leader. Leaders are supposed to be trustworthy. I failed. No excuse.
Lord forgive me for taking advantage of your forgiveness. Forgive me for lusting, for being unfaithful, for failing to do your works. Everything is so gray... I can't focus. At first, I felt proud of myself for resisting temptation, but, after that, I began to not feel as proud. I started focusing on other things. I wanted to live the "De Anza Life". On Mondays, I wanted to sit down and talk to my lady friends after Strength Conditioning. I wanted to eat lunch with my buddies and then go to Daniel's house to play Madden 2010. On Tuesdays, I wanted to sleep in.. or finish procrastinating on my essays. On Wednesdays, I wanted to have as much fun as I could before my QT meetings. Every now and then, I remembered,"I'm a Christian. I should do Christian stuff." My petty reminders got me nowhere. My life kept turning more and more gray. I let a few things slide here and there... and then *BAM* It hit me. I watched porn again. It was not until this happened that I realized I lost my touch with you. I lost my reverence for you. May an experience like this never again be used as a benchmark for my faith in you. I ask for wisdom. I want to change my ways before it gets too hard. Forgive me. Amen.
I realized that Satan can wait for me until the very end of my life to screw me over. He can make sure I'm having the best time of my life and pwn me on the last day. Good lesson.
Better luck never temptations. I got God on my side ;]
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