Personal Web Log
story--pt. V! Jan 31st, 2004 7:38:03 pm - Subscribe
I was thoroughly pissed off at her as I walked toward the park. Her father had SLAPPED her! She acted as if it hadn't happened.....she acted just like I had. She acted as if she didn't react, that it never happened. As if she could dream it all away. I know she isn't going to go with me. She made it clear when she asked if she could think it over. What was I thinking? She didn't like me the way I liked her. I wish she did. Then we could run away to Hawaii and live happily ever after. Live on the beach and eat coconuts and Pineapples and steal the occasional treat.

But that wasn't going to happen. I'm not going to go back down the hill so that I can face humiliation and rejection all over again. Instead, I'm going to enjoy my last hours in this town. Yes, I am leaving, leaving this wretched place with all of it's child-beating parents and abuse-denying children. I'm leaving for good this time. Oh, sure, once or twice I've tried to leave, but it's never REALLY happened. I'm starting by having a little illegal fun.

I went the store and started my spree by putting a few cans of spray paint in my pants. Blue, of course, because blue is the best color. Next, I went to the scrapbooking store and got some stencils. After that, I walked around town with my spray paint-filled pants and stencils in the pouch of my sweatshirt, which I had sweat a lot in. I walked around until it was dark then went around tagging various buildings. On most of them I put "You were the one that did this to me." But on some, I put, "I'm so sorry, Sparki. I had to." I did that until I ran out of paint. After that, I broke into a beer store and got tons of booze to give me courage to do what I was going to next.

I had written the note earlier that day and was going to drop it by her front porch before I went back to my bench. I got away smoothly after I had robbed the liquor store and I was waiting in the trees across the street from her house for all the lights to go out in the house. After what seemed like an eternity, they did. I ran up to the porch, dropped the note and continued walking to my final resting spot. Before you start thinking, you pussy, why do you have to do it? Keep in mind that my parents had apparently "come clean" and had reported that I ran away. They had been getting hot on my trail, and there was no way I was going to go back to Denver and live there again. This is the only way I can think of to get out of it. When I got back to my bench, I started drinking one bottle after another. I have never been one to like liquor of any form. It turned my parents into monsters and it made them reek.

When I was feeling more confident, I went to the lake in the middle of the park, climbed over the railing, and started to swim in. When I couldn't touch the bottom anymore, I swam to the bottom, breathed in the water and blackness surrounded me. I knew I had did it.
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Mood: indifferent

story--pt. V Jan 31st, 2004 2:11:50 pm - Subscribe
I was the only one in the basement when he knocked. Tyler had just gone upstairs when he did. I opened the window and let him in. We had just closed the door when he came back downstairs. "Shhhhh! He might hear us!" I whispered harshly. I turned on the shower and started stripping down. He turned away and covered his eyes when he saw what I was doing. "come one. If you're going to shower, you better get naked, too!" I giggled at how sweet he was being. He may have acted all tough and street, but deep down inside, he was just a boy who cared for a girl.

I stepped into the shower and he followed me. We giggled and laughed and let the water clothe our naked bodies. We met eyes and hugged each other. It felt heavenly. I never wanted it to stop. But, all good things must end. And this ended when the water all of a sudden got ice cold. I jumped when I felt it and let out a shriek. "Aaahhhh! Cold!" I leaped out of the shower and got a towel around me. Zander stayed in for a couple more seconds then turned off the water.

"That felt so good. Thanks for letting me shower with you," he whispered before putting on his clothes and climbing out the window. He left me feeling warm and a kiss on the lips. I stood there for a good 5 minutes before I decided it was time to get dressed. I put on my pyjamas then floated up the stairs to bed.

I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and ready to go to school. But that feeling left when I got downstairs. My daddy was there. But he should have left for work 2 hours ago! I tried to act naturally when I saw him. "Hi Daddy. What are you doing home? Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I stayed home to talk to you. Your brother heard 2 voices in the bathroom last night. Who was the other person?" He was flaming mad by now. He had found out! I hated Tyler right then. Why did he have to go and ruin a perfectly good day?

I had to come clean. He had found out."It was one of my new friends. His name is Zander. He's a runaway from Denver and he needed a shower. So I took a shower with him. I don't se anything wrong with it. He smelled really bad."

"You know it's wrong! Girls should NEVER shower with guys! Especially at your age! You KNOW better than this! You can NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN! And, you can never go to the park again, either. He was the reason you were late, wasn't he?"

I know not to argue with him at this point. I could never win and I didn't want him to hit me. "Yes," I said weakly. "I promise never to see him again. I have to go to school now," I had to get out of there. I didn't want him to see me crying.

"Hold on a minute!" He was still angry. I turned to face him. It was all a dream by this point. It didn't matter if he hit me. I couldn't see Zander anymore. I ran out of the house crying by eyes out with a big slap mark on the side of my face. I was running down the Street when Zander caught up to me.

"What happened? Did he hurt you? That bastard! I'm going to kill him!" Daddy was angry, but Zander was worse. He could kill the world if he wanted to right now. He hugged me tight and said "Just come to the park with me. Run away and never come back. We'll get your bank cards, empty the accounts and go to Hawaii. You'd like that, wouldn't you. We'll run for miles and miles. We'll run and never get tired. Come on, lets go!" He was revved up and wanted to go right then.

Then Daddy drove up. He had gotten my bank cards and then he threw them at me. "Leave. I never want you in my sight again!" Then he drove off.

Zander picked them up. "Lets go! Come on! He said leave, so , let's!" He was pulling on my arm. It was tempting. Lust to go and never come back. I wanted to so badly. We were at school.

"Let me think it over. I'll have a decision at the end of the day. Just meet me here when school gets out then we'll go. Just let me say goodbye to everyone."

He was reluctant, but he let me. Little did I know that that was the last time I would see my beloved Zander. He gave me my cards and started walking to his bench to wait for school to get out.
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Mood: sore

story--pt. IV Jan 31st, 2004 11:45:31 am - Subscribe
I sat on the brick wall by the Kindergartner's playground as I waited for Sparki to get out of her class. Some of the young children's parents had come to wait for them. They looked at me very oddly. Like I was A deformed legless man begging for money. I had asked one what time it was, but she hurried off like she had seen an old friend. Now, she was talking to another lady pointing at me with their noses shriveled up like they smelled something that didn't please them. Maybe they did. But, you get used to the smell after a while. I didn't even realize I stunk.

The bell rang and all the little kids ran out of their classrooms like they were spaceships or Batman or Wonder Woman. Ah, The innocence of children. How I envied their perfect lives with loving mothers and fathers. I would give it all up just for one hour of their lives. Sparki was walking up to me. Something was wrong. She looked worried. Something was very wrong. You could almost see the worry rolling off her. I got off my perch on the wall and walked up to her. She saw me and ran up to me.

"Zander, I can't go to the park for a month!" She was almost crying. It hurt me so much to see it. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and never let anything bad ever happen to her ever again. I told her, too. I was walking her home And she was telling me the whole story.

"My dad said that I couldn't go to the park for a whole month because I was rotting my brain dreaming! I know it isn't rotting because I'm getting the best grades I've gotten in a long while and I've been dreaming tons! It's like he wants me to grow up, get a job, and move into an apartment so he can start moving around tons like my parents did before they had kids! I just hate them so much sometimes." She stopped in front of a caramel colored house. It had a perfectly groomed front yard and a little flower garden in the front corner. It had a little cluster of Aspen trees in the middle of it. There was a basketball hoop attached to the front of the house. "This is where I live. In the backyard, there is a window well. Climb in the window well and you should find a bathroom down there. Come here about 8:00 tomorrow night. Here's my watch so you know what time it is. Be here if you want a shower!" She ran off into the house and left me standing there with a watch in one hand and a kiss on my right cheek.

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Mood: rejected

poopy. Jan 30th, 2004 8:50:10 pm - Subscribe
I was supposed to be doing dance dance revolution(proof that white people CAN dance!) duel right now with Alex....but he weasled out at the last minute saying that he "had to go see monster trucks tonight." grrr.....That makes me mad. And I don't have either Travis' number so I can't call them.....grrrr.....
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Mood: pissed off

The third installment of my story!!! Jan 29th, 2004 9:40:33 pm - Subscribe
When I got home after seening Zander, my parents had been worried sick over me.
"Where the HELL do you think you've been?!?!" Daddy exclaimed.

"I was at the park. I was thinking really hard and I guess time got away from me. Sorry." I really was, too. I didn't mean to stay out that late without telling my parents. I looked at the clock. It was 9:00 already! Time sure did fly. I don't think I was going to be able to go to the [park any time soon. Poopy.

"That's no excuse! You should have been home 5 hours ago!..." He went on blabbing for the next half hour but I just tuned out after a while. His little speech gets so boring anfter the third time hearing it! This had to be my 12th ot 13th time hearing it, I got it so often. I could probably recite it myself. I got it for being 5 minutes late, for God's sake!

I sighed and kept looking at him with a blank expression. "...And wipe that look off your face! You look like you're hearing this for the umpteenth time....." I thought to my self, I have heard this for the umpteenth time..... He continued on for the next hour, untill I finally spoke up.

"Can I go to bed now? I'm tired. And I still need to take my bath," I pleaded with him. I gave him my best puppy dog eyes.

He broke down. "Fine," he sighed. "Go take your bath. We'll discuss your grounding while your getting clean," and waved me away with his hand.

When I got out of the bathroom and climed into bed, Daddy came up. "We've come to the conclusion that you can't go to the park for the next month. All that dreaming will rot your brain!" He kissed me on top of my head, said goodnight, and turned out my lights.

As I snuggled into my covers, as it wasn't hot enough to sleep with just a sheet, but not cool enough to completely cover myself, I hought about Zander. What is it like living on the streets? Did he hate his parents? Could I live on the streets? Did he like like me? Did I like like him? Will I ever see him again? I kept thinking about him as I faded into dreamland.

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Mood: blank

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