Personal Web Log
story--pt. V! Jan 31st, 2004 7:38:03 pm - Subscribe
I was thoroughly pissed off at her as I walked toward the park. Her father had SLAPPED her! She acted as if it hadn't happened.....she acted just like I had. She acted as if she didn't react, that it never happened. As if she could dream it all away. I know she isn't going to go with me. She made it clear when she asked if she could think it over. What was I thinking? She didn't like me the way I liked her. I wish she did. Then we could run away to Hawaii and live happily ever after. Live on the beach and eat coconuts and Pineapples and steal the occasional treat.

But that wasn't going to happen. I'm not going to go back down the hill so that I can face humiliation and rejection all over again. Instead, I'm going to enjoy my last hours in this town. Yes, I am leaving, leaving this wretched place with all of it's child-beating parents and abuse-denying children. I'm leaving for good this time. Oh, sure, once or twice I've tried to leave, but it's never REALLY happened. I'm starting by having a little illegal fun.

I went the store and started my spree by putting a few cans of spray paint in my pants. Blue, of course, because blue is the best color. Next, I went to the scrapbooking store and got some stencils. After that, I walked around town with my spray paint-filled pants and stencils in the pouch of my sweatshirt, which I had sweat a lot in. I walked around until it was dark then went around tagging various buildings. On most of them I put "You were the one that did this to me." But on some, I put, "I'm so sorry, Sparki. I had to." I did that until I ran out of paint. After that, I broke into a beer store and got tons of booze to give me courage to do what I was going to next.

I had written the note earlier that day and was going to drop it by her front porch before I went back to my bench. I got away smoothly after I had robbed the liquor store and I was waiting in the trees across the street from her house for all the lights to go out in the house. After what seemed like an eternity, they did. I ran up to the porch, dropped the note and continued walking to my final resting spot. Before you start thinking, you pussy, why do you have to do it? Keep in mind that my parents had apparently "come clean" and had reported that I ran away. They had been getting hot on my trail, and there was no way I was going to go back to Denver and live there again. This is the only way I can think of to get out of it. When I got back to my bench, I started drinking one bottle after another. I have never been one to like liquor of any form. It turned my parents into monsters and it made them reek.

When I was feeling more confident, I went to the lake in the middle of the park, climbed over the railing, and started to swim in. When I couldn't touch the bottom anymore, I swam to the bottom, breathed in the water and blackness surrounded me. I knew I had did it.
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Mood: indifferent


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