Archives: February 2005, March 2005,
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stellargrl Saturday nights - Subscribe
So.. hmmm breaking my blogging virginity with this one.. so i guess i should make it good... *if only i had started this a few weeks ago.. it would have been great* Well februray is the worst month ever.. Last year i was having my heart broken on a train in switzerland and this year *surprisingly a year later.. crazy how i remember things with such accuracy* i was getting my heart broken.. while in a car heading straight towards a tree.. *note to boys.. don't drive like an ass.. fastest way to lose a girl.. well maybe not fastest.. but a very fast way* anyways... I found this great guy and being me i fall madly in factuation with him.. and things only get better.. we cuddle... and then he gets a girl friend.. but the cuddling doesn't stop there.. oh no.. we cuddle again.. but i make the move and hold his hand *girls like me.. i hate them.. but now i understand it...* and then we go sledding.. well a group of us all go.. *4 people* and we hike up to the tallest hill in my town and look out over the city and he puts his arm around me *sigh* sooo very cute! and then blah blah we drive around for a bit.. and then we all go back to his house.. and end up in bed.. well the four of us end up in bed.. fully clothes just chillin... and he startes playing with my hair, rubbing my back, holding my hand, playing with my necklace... And then there were those looks.. never had a stare like that! Let me tell you.. that was love.. or lust.. or infactuation.. i dunno but it was something.. and then the next night i offically find out he has a girlfriend *he didn't know i knew before* and yet he still puts his arm around me.. and i don't say anything.. because i am a creep... *gah!* and then he turns into immature ass and gets in a car accident.. and we haven't talked since that night! and ya.. so after a week of chocolate chip cookies.. and a bunch of other junk food i ahve decided.. i am too good to pine over someone who probably isn't even thinking about me... and lets be serious.. he has a girlfriend.. he shouldn't be thinking of me.. he should be thinking of her... i am sadly the victim of hollywood romance movies... and i will not accept anything less than sheer utter romance.. i want flowers.. cars.. poems.. songs.. public displays of undying love... ok well i am not that demanding.. a simple breaking up with his girlfriend and ya know.. asking me out would work.. i would be happy.. but i ahve decided.. i am making the stand! *que triumph music* i will be strong.. i will not feel sorry for myself any longer! i am wonderful, funny, amazing! and i deserve something more than being the pathetic other girl!!!!! *oh goodness.. what kind of life do i lead!

So... first web blog... that was interesting.. now i am going to watch the grudge.. should be fun!
Mood: ambitious
Music: Stellar By Incubus

stellargrl Sunday morning Feb 13th, 2005 1:08:07 pm - Subscribe
2:00 sunday morning.. So last night i watched the grudge with this guy i work with... he is part of the saturday night movie nights. but not the one i like... And ya it was fun.. but scary movies scare me.. and he sucked at the whole cuddling thing... Eric *the guy i like* is such a good scary movie cuddler.. oh man.. so when i got home i was a little paranoid about creepy dead people coming after me.. so i turned my music on a little louder than normal so just incase there was anything scary in my room i wouldn't hear it.. and then i slept.. at 3pm... and i slpet good till about 8 when the light becomes too much and my parents start tromping around.. so form then on i slept lightly and day dreamed about eric until 10:20.. i wanted to be up at 10.. i had to go to church.. so i jumped out of bed.. ate four pancakes in 0.2 seconds and then felt really full.. then i got dressed and headed down to church.. i go to this really wicked church that lets you be you.. so we had a good little talk and i always feel spiritually pumped afterwards.. and then through out the week my mind gets in the way and ya then sunday roles around again.. after that i went out for breakfast with one of my friends who was down from toronto.. we went to some little downtown cafe and had tofu scramble.. super good!! and then i came back here.. Thats about all i have for the moment... i am dreding valentines day.. again i am alone.. wishing i wasn't.. and i have this little hope that eric will ahve broken up with his girlfriend and will come pick me up in his truck and take me to the top of the hill.. and then he will say wonderful things about how much he thinks about me and how much he wants to be with me.. and then we will make out.. and the world will be ok.. But i now i have to drive my little sisters friend home! Gah!
Mood: philosophical
Music: Ahead by a century by the tragically hip

stellargrl Valentines Days Feb 14th, 2005 2:46:58 pm - Subscribe
Oh being single..... so another feb 14 passes and i am single.. but this one wasn't going to be boring.. i made sure of that.. One of my good friends came over last night and she did my hair and we watched the note book *i cried like a baby* and then she slept over and then we woke up and then and then and then.. So her and i dressed in all black today.. but very tasteful black.. We looked good.. So we went out for breakfast *very tasty* and exchanged gifts *lots of fun* and then we went to school.. which of course was soo much fun!... It was a pretty uneventful day.. but its not over.. eric could come and sweep me way *please please please* Tonight i have to do a bunch of homework.. and kick box... and thats my valentines... but i did get a new car.. or atleast the ablilty to drive a new car.. my step dad bought a new car so i got his old one and the old old one the kids used to drive around is no longer around.. so i have to get used to driving a cute little jetta.. that goes way too fast.. so i really have to watch myself...

and ya.. thats it!
Mood: bittersweet
Music: nothing :(

stellargrl Broken Computer Feb 15th, 2005 2:16:43 pm - Subscribe
SO i tried to hook my digital camera up to my computer last night... And i ended up taking out my internet.. Not only that my computer keeps freezing!!! all by trying to hook up a usb (or ubs??) cable!!! who manages that other than me.. and since my mom (the computer brain) is away i am screwed! so here i am sitting in my shcool library getting my quick internet fix... how pathetic..
I got some good news last night.. Eric broke up with his girlfriend! great news for me... And we are having movie night this weekend.. i ahven't talked with him to see if he is coming.. but i am hoping! And two weekend ago when my friends had movie night without me *i was away for the weekend* my friend teri casually cuddled with eric (jealousy) but as she explained last night (plus its teri.. teri cuddles with boys.. completely innocently) she was doing a little expariment.. she cuddled up to him and tried to play with his hand and tried to hold it.. and he moved his hand away! victory!!! she was very happy for me.. and i am super happy for me!!! he never pulled his hand away with him.. we always held hands happy.gif muahahahahaha (oh my life... how retarded am i!) so life is grand and i am sooo exicted to see him again... i work friday and saturday both with him i do believe... on an unromantic note i am super stressed... i have three classes this semster.. and in two of them i have like 7 differnet projects on the go.. my poor little mind can't mullti task like that.. so instead of getting down to work and trying it is short circuiting leaving my useless! i guess it is a good thing that my intenet is gone.. i will have nothing to distract me from my homework *oh joy!*
Mood: stupid

stellargrl Stuffy Morning Feb 17th, 2005 7:47:41 am - Subscribe
I wish this thing had sound effects... because if it did i would make my whiny nose sound to let you all know just how sick i am... I am stressed out with school... and sick.. and gah!!! So last night i got all dressed up and went to the movies with my step dad.. we saw the phantom of the operah.. it was sooooo good!.. I curled my hair in rollers and it looked nice.. so now i am curling my hair thos morning again.. i didn't feel like washing it.. so this was teh easiest way to make it look half decent.. after school i am picking up some of my friend from another school (including eric) and we are going shopping.. This will be the first time i ahve seen him since the little accident... and i guess since he has broken up with his girlfriend ... oh man my stomach hurts soooooo bad! gah!!!!! Ya.... i guess its bad that i try so hard to look good every time i see him.. but i can't help it.. i can't surpress the need to do it! ahhhhh *tummy* anyways.. i should probably continue to get ready!

*blows nose*
Mood: gross
Music: Three days grace. Just like you