stonecold's Blog

namecalling and other assorted ramblings
Date: Dec 19th, 2008 10:53:26 am - Subscribe
Mood: old


Hello again-1128 am on a overcast and chilly Friday morning-not feeling so great since I have a bit of an upset stomach and I didn't get to sleep until almost 4am this morning. There, that was the "assorted rambling", lol-now on to the meat of this nut. I guess, dear, the reason I am so sensitive to name calling-specifically, the ones that u have called me-is that I led a somewhat rough childhood as far as school was concerned. I know, I know, you'll say we were just kids and kids can be cruel, etc, but this was different. In junior high (6-8th grade) and for about the first year of high school, I was picked on mercilessly. I wasn't by any means popular-I was the short fat kid that everyone loved to pick on. I got called "loser", and "retard" and idiot more times than I care to count. I never fought back, mainly because these kids were older than I was (and bigger), so I just bore it silently. And it hurt, believe me-Not to the point to where I ran home crying everyday, but it did hurt. The retard thing came about because I was diagniosed early on with an actual learning disability as far as math is concerned and I was in special education math classes all thru school. And to these people, "special education" automatically translated into "retard". That sensitivity carried on into adulthood, and even years later, it still hurts-Maybe not to the degree it did back then, but it still does. Even if someone says it in a joking way, I am still very sensitive to it. So when someone I am close to, someone I love very much and care about refers to me in those terms, it stings really bad-that someone of course, being you. I know you think it's silly-but I would appreciate it if you would not refer to me as any of those terms. You can think it all you want, just don't say it-It's all part of respecting the other person's feelings and sensitivities. I love u dear-I hope this clears up some stuff for you, and I hope you are being my strong girl when u go to see your parents. I love u very much,
xxx
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