innerst inne lengter jeg
Date: Jan 13th, 2005 10:31:31 pm - Subscribe
Mood: reflective
dreamscape: en sky skaper skygge av tvil
i am awake. wide, in fact. 4 hours of dreaming in metropolis and cells brimming with sleeplessness.
mind has been so overcrowded with stringless thoughts and sticky webs of reflections, its bordering on intolerable. well, i guess it has been intolerable. cells have had enough and benumb themselves with virtual, visual anaesthetics. ephemeral first aid.
i've made only vague gestures in response to my pestering will to change, to leave, to grow. i feel like i am sinking into a deeper part of this cycle. deeper: im in norway again, smoking, holding hands with ina. wanting to forget what i left behind in the desert.
i no longer want to hold relationships that contaminate with their pallor and grey-tinged forgetting, yet i long for this heart centredness that sometimes envelopes from within.
i breathe deep into my lungs. the staleness scraping out catches on a memory, i cough reactively and eyes moisten with reflective jewels.
at this moment i am lost in this.
surrender.
then, fleetingly, i find my trust in the movement of love and let go..
Comments: (5)
b14d3 - January 14th, 2005 |
onthemetro - January 15th, 2005 |
genocide - January 16th, 2005 |
surrender - January 16th, 2005 |
un_heartme - January 25th, 2005 |