Date: Jun 29th, 2006 2:37:25 pm - Subscribe
Noise: Culture Kultuer - The Only One
Today I've made another step toward my reviving. My condition is getting better now, day by day. It really seems like I'm slowly getting out of this black hole that's eating me from the inside.
I've decided to get back on playing the guitar, after a whole year of barely touching it. Today I've baught an amplifier (spent 3 years without one). This is really a cause for celebration! Playing makes me feel like I'm alive, like I can do something beautiful. It's like painting sounds with my finguers, in pretty waves. The notes are embracing me with electric shocks: good, reviving shocks. This is something that I really love and abandoned. I abandoned myself along with everything that ever made me feel alive. I buried myself in the dirt, believing that this is where I belong.
The way up is tough, I know. But why do we always try to reach for the stars? Maybe it's worth it? I am giving myself another chance to breathe. I deserve this.
Wow. I cannot belive I just wrote it. Sounds soooo not like me. I still have mixed feelings about this working. Can't be real...