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tahksik Just level the damn building!!!!! - Subscribe
School.

Ohmigawd.

I hate it.

But not because I have to do work and learning about parallel lines does nothing for me in real life. It is because of the people in it. Those people who deserve to be pelted with rocks until they are dead!

In my Geometry class, this one girl got a higher average than me. Okay, Tahksik, a lot of people get higher averages than an 82. Why are you so bothered?

That is a good question. If it wasn't for the fact that she cheated on all her tests, does not complete one bit of homework, and talks on her cellphone the entire period, I would not have a problem.

Now, this is where I am very angry. .

My Geometry teacher KNOWS THAT SHE CHEATS AND IS VERY WELL AWARE THAT MRS. LITTLE BITCH IS ON HER CELLPHONE THE WHOLE TIME!!!

*stab*kick*glare*stab*stab*

The people and the teachers. . . everything about that school just makes me wanna kill someone. And there is no reason as to why people should be walking around as if they're the shit. There are so many ghetto-fags in the school that it is impossible to even avoid busting a blood vessel. There is no reason to be ghetto in Belleville, NJ. And in Belleville, NJ, the only thing tough is the fucking border, Newark. And that isn't even that tough. We're no where near the fucking "hard streets" of Newark. THAT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE!

I wish I could leave this fucking town, but I know it will never happen. I'm just so unhappy here, it's disgusting.

I don't even know how I can get into another school. I get high B's, low A's, so a private school is out of the question. My average for the marking period is an 89. And I'm sure my mom is going to throw a bitch fit because I didn't get a 90. Well, fuck her.

I'm all for boarding school. I see nothing wrong in boarding school. My mom won't see the same way I do, but what else is new. She doesn't even listen to a word that comes out of my mouth.

Boarding School seems like fun. I hate this fucking town.

I wish it'd get leveled.

0 Comments
Mood: Rant-y
The song that never ends: My Last Breath - Evanescence

tahksik RA = teh shit Dec 6th, 2005 9:45:12 pm - Subscribe
Good band. Whoahomg. They are awesome with their lyrics and how it all goes together. Take The Only One for an example. The lyrics on that songs are sooooo SEXY!

So, yeah.

I've been talking about falling into a funk and I think I'm managing this one pretty well. But....

Thomas may be at the talent show, and if I see him, I don't know what I'm going to do. When I think of him, I almost think of him as a fictional villain in a book that doesn't need an excuse to do mean things. But then I look at his myspace and realize that he is real, that he really is the greatest mind-fuck on Earth.

All I know is that if he does one thing to make Destiny cry, upset, or cause her to sulk in a corner, there will be an angry blond going through her cycle on his tail. I've only hit a few people, and most of them were with objects (ie lanyard, rocks, books).

Mother fucker. . . . .ugh
2 Comments
Mood: glad

tahksik B E L L E V I L L E SUCKS! Dec 9th, 2005 2:34:02 pm - Subscribe
Belleville's security sucks.

Belleville's pseudo gangs sucks.

Belleville's Talent SUCKS.

Ugh.

1.) Security.

Why does it suck? Well, our school's talent show was held last night, and guess who showed up, all the way from the Washington township. That mother fucker, Tom. And you wanna know who was with him? His mother fucking Mom. I wanted to stab him, I wanted to yell at him. Omg. . . .

She still doesn't want to involve the cops. . . . . I brough my thumbdrive for nothing. (Thumbdrive pocket knife. . . . . very good combo.)

And, the thing is that only people with school IDs may be let into the building. HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET IN!?

I salute belleville security.

2. Pseudo gangs

During the talent show, we had the usual Black and Red and Black and White seperation. After the show, they met in the parking lot and beat the shit out of each other. I hope someone was killed. They just need to grow the fuck up.

3. Sucky talent.

O. M. G! Some of the people they let perform was just sad. The duo that had a tribute to John KILLED the song. I don't know if it was a joke or not, but it was sad.

And they supposidly filter through to get the best acts. Well, what the fuck. I wanna see some of the other acts!



I hate it here!
0 Comments
Mood: stumped

tahksik I look like a boy! Dec 13th, 2005 9:54:19 pm - Subscribe
Seriously, I do. I look like a guy.

I cut my hair, and it falls around my chin. One person has already confused me for a boy, so, whatever.

Kristine was flipping out, though. She thought that my mom would flip out and call the cops on her, or something. But, I'm getting the silent treatment from her right now.

Kristine thinks it is her personal mission to raise my self esteem. I say, good luck to you. But cutting my hair and painting my nails red doesn't really do much.

So, yeah. When I can get to my Camera, I will take a picture. Okay? Okay!

Buh bye!
0 Comments
Mood: different

tahksik Can we say PICTURE! Dec 15th, 2005 1:04:02 am - Subscribe
So, I got really bored, so I decided to take pictures with my and my new hair! omg!

Photobucket.com iz teh shit

I got so many complements. When I cut my hair my self and it wasn't even this short, I got fewer remarks. I only got called a dyke twice, and one of them wasn't even meant as an insult (anything said by Mike P. can not be taken to heart).

Awesome!

In class, we started Mock Trial. I was a witness. I was Ms. Giangi, the defendant's 1st period science teacher. It was my duty to say that the defendant was not doing well in school and that he may be involed with drugs due to his behavior in class and the way he smells of something like a cigarrete but not likely. We're aiming for Mary-Jane, but we'll take any drug we can get. . . . Remember, Marijuana is a gateway drug. . . .

It was funny, because on cross, the lawyer thought she would be slick and say, "I am going to ask you some questions and I would love for you to answer either yes or no, are you capable of doing that?"

"If I can. . . . "

So, the time comes up where I am not cooperating, and she is like, "I asked you if you were capable of answering in either yes or no and you testified--"

"--I said if I could."

IT WAS SEXY!

heehee

I love mock trials!
2 Comments
Mood: dark

tahksik I want out Dec 17th, 2005 12:57:51 am - Subscribe
Belleville is just ticking me off. I almost blew a fuse in Math class. Heena asked me what was wrong, why I was in such a crabby mood, and I told her. I hate this school, and part of it is because of Rebecca, who was talking to her cousin about some shit I didn't care about. I hate that class.

The money I will be getting from my grandfather will be invested, but my mom said that we would take some out for me to use. Me. I was wondering if that would include something that involved the descision of my choice.

I've been thinking about an exchange program. I've been looking around, and I've found some interesting programs.

The thing is--I don't know how to talk to my mother about it. Destiny said that I should pack a bag, walk by and say, "Mom, I'm going to school in France," and continue out the door. But, I don't know how well that would work and it's kinda cold out.

Any ideas?

(Oh, and YAY! Aeonity is back up!
2 Comments
Mood: slaphappy

tahksik Shit nothing Dec 17th, 2005 4:30:28 pm - Subscribe
In my last entry, I said on how I didn't know how to talk to my mom about wanting to leave.

I think I got shot down. I didn't get a reaction, not good or bad. It was like I told her and she just didn't listen. (Was she even listening?)

Talking about my feelings doesn't do anything good for me. I told Destiny why I am miserable in Belleville, I got nothing. I told Kristine about my mom's reaction and she went on telling me on how I should tell my mom about what happened when I was three. ( I still can see the good coming out of that.)

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to die--I do, but I can't. I want to leave, and if I don't, I'm going to die. I want to run away from this town and go somewhere different. Even if it is just for one school year. Going somewhere, learning in a better school system, meeting new people, living a different way (eating lunch for longer than 10 minutes).

I've always wanted to go to another country and view people there. There is just so much to see. I want to leave here and get away from this place.

Why can't I? Because my mom disagrees?

Once again, it's her way, her view, and never mine.

I can't take this town.
1 Comments
Mood: miserable
The song that never ends: Always -- Saliva

tahksik Funk Dec 18th, 2005 3:26:19 pm - Subscribe
I noticed yesterday that I'm in another one of my funks. Everything makes me wanna cry and put a fist through a wall. I didn't even see this one coming.

I went to the mall yesterday. With my mother. So, you know the car ride home was silent.

You'd figure, she's my mother, she should know enough about me by now. No. We're at the mall, and she asks me, like she does every other time. "Do you wanna get a hot dog."

"No, they give me a headache."

"Oh, okay, are you sure?"

"Yes, they give me a headache."

So, now she snap and yells at me, telling me to shut up. This is not the first time this information has been passed to her.

What the fuck did I do? I tell her something that she just IGNORES! And, once again, we go to the mall, look for what we came there to look for, and just leave.

So much for, "Yeah, Ashley, we can look around, I don't see as to why not."

She wonders why I spend so much time in my room and on the computer. She wonders why I don't want to watch TV with her, and why I don't like to sit down with her. She doesn't view me as a person. I'm just a thing to her.

1 Comments
Mood: sleazy
The song that never ends: Say You Will -- Ra

tahksik O M G . G O D I S G O O D ! ! !!!!! Dec 19th, 2005 11:23:23 pm - Subscribe
Information was passed to me this morning that makes me feel a lot better.

Tom, that fuckard that threw my friend in the mud and dragged her around (metaphorically speaking), tried to do himself in. I hugged so many people and received many looks of horror.

Dest isn't so good right now, but she's doin better than the last time he did this, and the time before that .... and the time before that. I managed to cheer her up, so, I guess that's good. The last time, it was really hard to reach her, even if she was infront of me. So, yay!

I'd be more compassionate if he wasn't terribly fucked up person. So, yell at me all you want for being mean and cruel in this situation.

Oh, and to show how much I hate my geometry teacher, Mrs. Shuhan, I made a little image to express said hatred.



and ....



Oh, and Tom's in a coma ... my heart does not go out to him.
5 Comments
Mood: groovy
The song that never ends: Haunted -- Evanescence

tahksik Happy Holidays. Dec 25th, 2005 4:05:59 pm - Subscribe
What did you get?

Me? I got some girly stuff I don't give two shits about. Why did my mom even ask me what I wanted? Why did I tell her and hope I would get it?

I thought she listened to me.

Oh, how I was wrong.

But, w/e. It doesn't matter.

I haven't posted much because I was busy. I managed to make three calls to some hotline, a couple of days back. All in the same day. I got one of the people to say "blah blah blah." I thought that was funny.

I've been thinking a lot about Chris, my ex. Mostly, I've been wondering what I did to push him away this time. And, the more I think about it, the more I realize that this time I did nothing wrong.

All I did was be there for him, and when Jackie wanted him back, he choose her over me.

I don't know what is good about that, but w/e.

See you all in January. I'm off to Florida.
1 Comments
Mood: fake

tahksik Wireless internet Dec 29th, 2005 2:19:33 pm - Subscribe
Yay for wireless internet.

I got a wireless internet card for an early Birthday gift (it's only a month away). So, yeah.

If I could only find the cord for my camera to hook it up to the laptop, I'd put pictures now.

Okay, so, I left on christmas day, around 8:30. We drove until we reached Fredricksburg, VA. That is good for a couple of hours worth of driving. So, after that we drove the whole day, but reached traffic in S. Carolina. That set us back four hours, and we had to stop in Daytona, FL. That worked out well, because Mai and her family broke down a couple of miles from Boca. Other family came to pick them up, but we picked up their van and drove that the rest of the way.

So, yay. Yesterday we just sat around. I went swimming and all that fun stuff. Today, I think we'll do the same thing. But, mu uncle is taking these young boys and Mia's sister to the Miami seaquarium, which I went to a couple of years back. So, yay.

Yeah. I guess I'll update later.
1 Comments
Mood: warm

tahksik lloonnlleeyy Dec 29th, 2005 8:59:38 pm - Subscribe
Yay for me.

He is getting to me again.

That, that guy named Chris.
3 Comments
Mood: wacky