Everytime I look at myself, I wonder how I could function in 10 years or live in society and actually do something to keep it running. I can't even imagine myself in five years, let alone alive in 10.

I thought about emptying the medicine cabinet again. I have a large advil bottle, so if I downed it, I'm sure I'd die. Then there are my prescriptions, my mother's, and allergy medicine. I'm sure if I mixed all of them together, I'd not be able to walk away from it alive.

I don't want to live, but I can take control of my own life. I'd rather get struck by a car and or killed by random chance then act out on my thoughts.

No one actually cares for me. No one calls me when they want to, they just call me when they need me. Everyone has their own life, and I don't think I fit into it.

At least I have you. I doubt it, but--hi.

Hey thanks for posting on my blog. And i just wanted to say that I'ver had many friends feeling what your feeling and you have no idea how many different phases you go through in life, especially in your teenage years. Believe me, things change dramatically round every corner, things'll get better

hey,hey, chin up darling - look on the bright side - you DO have us, the whole community here at aeonity blog and we will help you through it! well at least i will try to anyway!

~midnight~

It's so not true... you still have your family, friends & fellow bloggers here at the Aeonity community who actually care about you, and I'm really worried about you talking about taking drugs & everything, and I believe thinking too much might ruin your mental health as well. About your friends, I think you can always call them up, because they might be expecting your call or they might be in need of help or something, who knows? Well, all I want to say here is that you are never alone, you still have my support, I'm sure the best and the happiness are yet to come, just do not lose hope, ok?