I think my dreams reflected on some of the things I saw yesterday. There was two, because I woke up around 7 and fell back asleep.

The first one was the one I hated the most. You know on those reality shows, they would have these people with similar problems and they would try to change them? Well, take that and remove the whole television part of it.

The first one's theme was self image. Of course, Dest was there, and so was this other girl I know. The other girl, who right now is pregnant, was worried about the way pregnancy would ruin her body. But, in the dream, she didn't look all that different.

The second one was more about me. The theme was fear. Laura, Angelica, and some made up people were there with me. I didn't get far into it, though. I'm a scared person and I'll worry about everything. Maybe I dreamed about that because I'm still afraid of what Dest might do. I don't know. I thought a little about it before I went back to sleep, so, maybe that is what caused it to happen.

In some of the pictures, you could see cuts on her legs. The ones on her shins are old, but, the ones on her thighs are new and fresh. I wanted to yell at her, she said she stopped.

Sometimes, I think I put the idea of cutting your leg in her head. One day, we were talking, and Amanda Brulato, this annoying girl that everyone shares a passion in hating, asked her why would she cut somewhere where everyone can see. I had to open my big fat mouth and say, "You're legs bleed as much as your arm."

So--I'm no better then Dest, but I have a switch blade and I haven't cut myself at all. That is some resistance, right there. It's been about a year since I used anything to cut myself. I was so close one time. I had the blade right there, shiney and new, and I pressed down. I don't know why I stopped, but I did.

The thing with Destiny is, I can spill my heart out to her, and she'll say that what I said impacted her and reminded her that there are people there for her. But--she always forgets it! Maybe it has to do with something I read on another blog. The three hardest things to say are Help Me, I love you, and sorry.

This is why I left xanga. On xanga, everybody I knew would of read it or would habe made a stupid comment.