The day is beyond horrible today.
I not meant for this family. Everyday,Everymorning I wake up and I feel like a mistake. I have a mother who is totally fucking out of control, a brother who is violent and beyond horrible, and a father who really couldn't carealess about it.
My mother was screaming at me abnd screaming. I can't take this anymore. ON the drive ot my fathers houe, she said "WHY COME YOUR ACTING SO HORRIBLE TODAY I KNOW WHAT IT IS ITS THAT MEDICHINE UR TAKING". I told her no its not hte medication and to stop fuckign screaming at me and makign assumtions. Then she tried to hit me, and i covered myself and hit her on the shoulder and said don't you ever touch me, Then my 13 year old brother is in the back and saying "SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL KNOCK BOTH OF YOUR TEETH OUT IF YOU DON'T STOP."
yes my 13 year old brother is sayign that.
Then my mother and my brother yell at me, its almost as if there ganging up at me, and at this point, i feel pretty numb and i'm just stairing at the window and closing my eyes, taking the shit all in. There both saying "what the fucxk is wrong with you, your such a horrible person, whats wrong with you today," Then my brother tretens me more.
Then I can no longer take it and I simply say let me out of the car I 'll walk to my dads.
So i get out of the car, into the dark, in the pouring rain...sobbing...and procede to walk to my fathers house.
talk about verbal fucking abuse.
I try and stay strong, I try and keep my head high. Bu this feeling is overwhelming. I can't beleave my family can make me feel this way, make me feel like dirt.
I feel shattered and painful, all i can do is shake, and cry some more.
Then i when I did go to my dads house, tears streaming down my face I run up to my room. My brother acts like nothing happend and says in a normal voice "Hi Jen". I ignore him. I walk up to my room, went into my closet and just fell right onto my comforter and cried and cried and cried.
Next thing I knew I heard the door shut, they went out somewhere, probably for the night.
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