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tear This is the end - Subscribe

Hey there. Weed brownies we made today were delicious, I'm not going to lie, I smoked too much weed today. The night was beautiful, the fog, the trees, the kisses. But I know it wasn't that beautiful because I feel like I'm constantly walking over eggshells around you and your alot of emotional baggage. I really wish we could be together, but I always feel drained. I reliaze I deserve better.

I'm not going to get into all of the above. I don't enjoy feeling un fucking loved and pouring my heart out to, shall we say someone who them itself is a confused one.

I made 50$ I don't want to spend it on weed or booze. I need to think about what I should spend it on. Suggestions Anyone?

I hope you all had a great weekend.
I loveeee yous.
1 Comments
Mood: vamped

tear random Nov 9th, 2006 12:28:36 am - Subscribe

Everything feels beyond dtrange, right now im not tryying to shove my face in it or think about it too much I'm just having a bad anxiety attack and I'm trying not to focous on it so I can try and calm myself down and get rid of it...I'm not happy at my choice for smoking weed, I craved it so I had it. I feel like a fucking drug addict.
I wouldn't stopped I smoked too much and I need to promise myself no more weed tonight. I can't handle any as you can see the way i'am right now.

Everything will be good. I will be alright.
3 Comments
Mood: icky

tear The first day of my life Nov 12th, 2006 7:02:58 am - Subscribe

It is November 11, 2006. You can't go around playing with fire and expect not to get hurt. This isn't the biggest thing in the universe. But I know I shouldn't have let this happen because he has a girlfriend and he knows he does. Basically, two drunk people making out. I regret it. It was bad. I made a mistake. Indeed I did. So did he. I'm sorry. I apolize. I feel pretty fucking bad and low because his girlfriend asked if I had a thing for him I replied honestly and said that I don't. She said good, because if you did, There would be some smashing of heads involved.

Violence is not a way to figure things out, nor is it a way to deal with things. I understand that. I'm listening to Bright Eyes and I'm loving it. I feel emotional. And Conor Obriest is beautiful in words.
3 Comments
Mood: eh

tear Much love Nov 28th, 2006 10:17:40 am - Subscribe

The commercials, the music, the christmas tree, the cookies, the shit, the decorations, the wraping paper. Blahhh.

Christmas is yet again soon. It annoys me...I don't want to be here for Christmas. Anyways. I'm not beeeeing bitter I hope...

Things are good, smoking weed, not smoking weed. Everything is swell....

Not to self:

Talk to carrer] center at school about VOLUNTERRING SHIT.
2 Comments
Mood: fickle