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outsidebox
Overdue for a change of pace. Sep 14th, 2007 4:02:19 pm - Subscribe
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So…now that my political picture is painted perfectly clear, I can adjust the frame and leave it somewhat off-center. Band practice went really well last night. My band is an acoustic-folk project and screams "emotional" in the worst way - but it's full of meaning and deep-rooted melodically-engineered feeling. Eventually, after we've digitalized our sound (put it online), I'll start up a MySpace and post the link up here so you can catch the breeze of some modernly uplifting, but somewhat depressing singer/songwriter compositions that I've pieced together. Musically speaking, I've set some pretty obtainable goals. I don't really care to be famous, and hell, money's great, but I'd play for free - location permitting. I know this is cliché, but making music is so much more to me than just parties and an unlimited supply of attractive groupies. I want to touch people with my words. I want to save your life - as music has saved my life. Not in a religious way. In a spiritual way. It's channeled me to re-think the suicide setup. It has taught me so much during the instrumental periods in my life where ending it all was the easy way out. More than anything - it's shown me that other people have been where I've been, and everything will eventually be okay. Some people's parents wrap them in a blanket of warmth, securing this premise. Some people have their religious idols to reassure them. I have my music. /jaime |
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outsidebox
September 11th, 2007 Sep 11th, 2007 6:34:41 pm - Subscribe
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truth (trooth) noun. 1. Conformity to fact or actuality. 2. A statement proven to be or accepted as true. 3. Sincerity; integrity. 4. Fidelity to an original or standard. Today I offer the world solace in its search for the truth. I'm happy to see a few groups and organizations dedicated to questioning the "truth". ![]() I noticed something that kinda hurt my heart as I drove down Metcalf, near the Corporate sector on Outlook. I noticed not one American flag is at half mass today. While everyone recognizes this day as a day of loss, I think everyone has pretty much moved on and written off the reminder that we, regardless of fault, at some point in our lives, are seconds from dying. My thoughts are with the lives lost in 9/11, and if I was anything more than a computer technician, I'd supply much needed funds to the friends and family that lost loved ones during this tragic bookmark in history. There is a lesson to be learned, an upside to every downward-spiraled story, a happy ending and a note-worthy-mention in a sad song: Live free. Love free. Die, but journey well.
9/11 Organizations: Loose Change 911 - www.loosechange911.com 911 Truth - www.911truth.org
/jaime |
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I awake from deepest sleep. jarring alarm; the day begins. and I breathe out. get up, dressed, and into class. I smile, I pretend I'm not alone for your benefit. I go to lunch and talk about nothing that matters. I laugh. I go back to my house, to my room, to my bed. and for you, I pretend it is a home to me. I lie awake in the night, reminding myself that I'm alive. my autopilot answers and responses are not me. I'm not a shell. and for you, I don't cry. I maintain my mask. I numb the emptiness; drug my mind with stories. and I sleep, dreaming deeply of you - just out of my reach. |
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outsidebox
The Government on Cycle "Spin".. Sep 7th, 2007 6:10:09 am - Subscribe
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Ron Paul is for ending the war - and not just because it's an unpopular war, he voted against the war in the first place. He's against it because he knows something that you don't = this war was not started as an "anti-terrorism" campaign; this war is the end result of money and capitalizing on the construction of an oil monopoly in the Middle East. Don't be so willing to wash out the possibility that your own government not only knew, but potentially aided the attack that happened on 9/11.![]() "Oh my god. Did he just suggest the government knew about - and was potentially involved - in the attack on 9/11!?" Yes. I'm no government official with clearance to that kind of information, but a sick Sunday evening shifting through political documents and investigation reports is all it takes to catch the hint of something fishy in the air. What better way to get the sheep behind a war fueled by the oil companies and Middle East resources? But - Bin Laden took the credit for 9/11, right? So it couldn't have been our government. Well, before your razor perception get's ahead of you, let's examine the facts for a minute. The only evidence tying the link between Bin Laden and the World Trade Centers looks like it was shot from a poor quality cell phone. I mean, think about it - all it takes is a turban, a little bit of facial work, and a dimly lit room shooting off low-grade equipment to re-capture the Bin Laden confession. Other countries would like to taste credit for the attack so bad; who's to say Bin Laden wasn't just the first to hop on the hate train, assuming it actually -was- him. Now - let's move on. Mission Impossible. Fight Club. The Time Machine. Theatrical movies. Stellar special effects. Do you honestly think your wonderful government did not have the potential and resources to fool you into a hopeless war? I hope you've thought about this before now, but if not, welcome to the dark side of life in your United States. Our government had already been fucking you long before you had the capacity to open the bottle of lube. Not only has the government been lying to you, but during the Bush presidency - not one, not two - but over 8 constitutional amendments - your constitutional rights - have been reduced and directly and UNLAWFULLY violated by the president himself. Let's examine the "Patriot Act" which Bush states, and you mindlessly agree, "protects" you from terror.. This act entitles the government to take your civil liberties away and march into your home without notice at any time, for any reason. Don't move. You're trading your rights for the illusions of safety. It doesn't take a genius to figure out the effectiveness of this fucked up plan - All it takes is cold-hearted politicians playing puppet masters with your life. Perspective time - line: September 11th, 2001 - Two world trade centers hit by "hi-jacked" planes. One hits the Pentagon. What about the third building? The third building that collapsed that day was never hit by a plane, and information regarding it's collapse was never disclosed. It was later released that "fire" was the cause of the collapse in all three buildings that day. Everything else about the third building's collapse has been classified. Do that math. Moving on: During the plane-building collisions, the VERY SAME DAY, THE VERY SAME HOUR, simulators where being run through with dummy plane/building missions, so whenever NORAD received the call, not only did their pilots not accomplish anything after they were airborne, but it took them 80 minutes to figure out that this was a real nationwide emergency and not a sim. 4 times NORAD failed that day - before that, they organization's accuracy was 100%. Vice President Dick Cheney was in charge of NORAD operations that day, and directed their flight patterns from the vault below the White House. October 26th, 2001 - George W. Bush implements the "Patriot Act" which allows government officials and law-enforcement authorities at any time, and without the notification of any court to search any of your e-mail and telephone communications, medical and financial records - infringing on your civil liberties. The bill passed through both sides of Congress with flying colors, although several challenges to the bill have been submitted and the Federal courts have declared at least one section of the bill "unconstitutional". July 2005 - the U.S. Senate passed a reauthorization bill with substantial changes to several sections of the act, while the House reauthorization bill kept most of the act's original language. The two bills were then reconciled in a conference committee that was criticized by Senators from both parties for ignoring civil liberty concerns. The "compromise bill," which removed most of the changes from the Senate version, passed Congress on March 2, 2006 and was signed into law by President Bush on March 9, 2006. Well, what does the government have to gain out of all this? ...two things: One - more control over you. Intelligence. Not just knowing what you have been up to, but monitoring you presently however they see fit. Two - 9/11 gave the government a citizen backing for an attack in IRAQ and AFGANISTAN. You feel that you life is at risk - you give up civil liberties and you fold to a government who has promised to "strike fear in the hearts of terrorists". News flash: Your government is the terrorist. It's time to drown the fog with truth. Quit being sheep and listening to the array or bullshit that corporate media (backed by the government, no doubt) is feeding you. It's time for a revolution. Check out www.RonPaul2008.com and take a second to look at his position on policies. He believes in small government involvement. He believes in your constitutional rights. He was against this bullshit-propaganda-filled-war from the beginning - not like these other politicians who dropped support after the war became unpopular. He is the only presidential candidate that was against it from the beginning. Knowledge trickles down from the top tier of things. Ron Paul knew the true agenda of the war, and the president's position on oil. He was the minority. What hurts is that Ron Paul unfortunately does not deal in dirty campaign contributions, and therefore his funding hinders his popularity. Look - I feel better in writing this because now you can't say that you weren't warned. Stop being sheep. Wake up. Resources and related information: www.zeitgeistmovie.com â€" 2 hour eye opening documentary on your government. You have to watch this. Make a night of it. www.unamerican.com - lots of good resources and outside-of-the-box thinking. www.ronpaul2008.com - the man, his positions. www.youtube.com and www.google.com - look up Ron Paul. Please, listen to the debates. Learn, and vote with confidence. Thanks for reading. /jaime |
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From here, the sunrise seems so long ago. Where we lay and the stars faded into the dawn. And I stand in the last crimson rays of a beautiful day; a sunset like life's blood finally draining away. And it's beautiful - these last days in the dying light are beautiful - perhaps the most wonderous yet. In the crimson glow, as the heat fades, I won't think about the coming night - the darkness that will rise - the loss of the light. These have been the best days of my life. I can't think about the approaching night. With all that I am, I cling to what is left - these sunset hours of the happiest times. And I try to will the spark of your sunlight to remain alive. |
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lay down here, don't argue so. all defenses down soft and slow. through skylights we forgot about, the grey light shows. and the sound of the rain and the sound of the rain goes on. sweet distractions; forget your plans. lose yourself in holding nothing back. through skylights we forgot about, the grey light shows. and the sound of the rain and the sound of the rain goes on. fully captivated; no desire to leave. remain at my side and forget all your dreams. a shadow at home awaits you; you won't come - tears will fall like rain. through skylights we forgot about, the grey light shows. and the sound of the rain and the sound of the rain goes on. through windows you left behind, a cold wind shudders. and the rain in my heart the rain in my heart goes on. |
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Mood: lonely and bitter. What I did today: Penelope was the wife of Odysseus. He left home for seven years and had all sorts of fun while she waited for him. |
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I woke up to the screaming of families; I woke up feeling my skin dissolve - and I don't know where my dreams run to; in the light, where all is revealed. but it's real: I looked on as worlds were torn down beneath fiery skies. and all that I struggle for can be lost in a moment and all of my passion could not save me. there is no reasoning with fate or with a bullet, or a blade. any minute I could wake up with life collapsing upon me - or nothing left at all. so hold on to me. hold me here; now - one life or one love; don't let it go. I don't want to be alone. |
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Mood: struggling. What I did today: my difficulty coming to terms with my own mortality; with the impermanence of love and of life. |
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all these weeks asleep beneath a metre of the darkness I wrap myself in. I don't want to dream through this, and I won't look away anymore. all those days convincing myself that this is just how I am - it's not. and I'm awake to choose my own way I won't let life happen to me. awake and alive; with your voice in my heart, and sunlight everywhere that used to be dark. |
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you see me a confused, jumbled mess I've tied myself up in knots chased my tail until it was caught and you look at me with incredulity why do I let life get to me? but all I want is for you to untangle me; put me right again. I run myself into the ground and fall to pieces at a word I drag you down into my darkness but all I want is for you to see the light I'm giving you. |
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Every piece of me that goes into this suitcase - folded neatly; screaming quietly: "twenty-one days!" - it tears a hole. Everything that I am is here; is you. Home doesn't travel well at all. How can I leave? How can I fly away? I'll go, and I won't cry. But every step I take while far away will bring me a step closer to home, and every moment a little nearer to it being over. |
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I fit into you like South America into Africa. without you, I drift: my thoughts become oceans; miles of water between jigsaw coasts. buildings swallow people (just like love) and spit them out again when fluorescence makes their eyes ache and their hearts long for the sun. all the uncertain islands of missing pieces come together - strong, solid ground - in your eyes. turn back time-floods bring us together again. |
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I cannot speak - my throat is cut. time is short; my days are numbered. don't - please don't - force me back into myself I had nearly I had very nearly escaped. don't touch me; I won't go. I'll run! I'll run, I'll get away... I cannot sing; the river dreams of skeletal birds and twisted trees. and the trap yawns - I see my relfection in its teeth, waiting for myself. waiting for me to come back, to drag me in again. I cannot scream - my throat is cut. relief is fleeting; good days are numbered. |
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where your skin begins words fail me. your breath is my heartbeat; your eyes my relief - words fail me. you take me into your arms. I can be strong; I can believe, but I cannot speak. at the point where you begin, words are rendered meaningless. too insignificant to colour passion - words fail me. |
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another chapter - in which: millions of metres above my insomniac head, a castle on a cloud disintegrates into dust. and I pick at the remaining threads instead of trying to mend the hole. I plug my ears with cynicism to keep from hearing any more about heaven. |
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amaranth: a flower never fading - a mythical forever that cannot be possessed. ever sought for, always lost; beauty unmarred by passing ages I found its light in the depths amaranth, forever does not exist. I reach out, and you wither before my eyes. time touches all no petal can elude its winter amaranth a flower never fading amaranth, a fairytale for open hearts amaranth, look into your winter now: forever is not real - forever is not real. |
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you turn your face away from me; say I make you sick - I make you sick. and with only words, you make me into the thorn. I, the illness that twists your stomach; I, the venom that poisons your breath; I speak as your treacherous, torturous disease: oh, god, what I'd give to be free of your veins. oh, my enemy and creator, the thorn in your skin would die to return to its vine and just be. |
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upon the last day frozen skies and flat grey light I reach back still unwilling to lose my hold on the days gone by memories too dear to let become simply that. and still regrets and fear for the unknown what difference can I cause; I that crawl but a corner of this vast place? the beautiful, frightening thing about time is it passes. the wonderful, terrible thing about life is it ends. and what have I to prevent the ages from sweeping me up in their tides? I have words - I have words. |
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in the deep dark, harmony rings - it calls to me, oh, calls to me. let sleep rest heavy upon dreaming eyelids, and come to me now, come to me. the weary world drifts away into oceans of light and colour. and I dream; in dreams I find the thread of a song unravelling again. and ever the promise of light beyond - calling to me: oh, come to me. |
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lying in a net of someone else's golden star lights, I can't help but feel colder. breathing on borrowed time. every touch burns; every word aches- beautiful cherished pinpricks. and while each embrace is bittersweet, the empty spaces are cold with desire. repentance for tears and loneliness in anticipation but I can't help it; I want you. a swarm of what-ifs swim round like fish darting to brush my skin sending a shiver in dreams I fight I'll scream at the mirror don't look at me that way we'll make it - we have to. every chord played upon my heartstrings sick with longing oh, I need you I can't help it; I need you hopelessly holding out against time we cannot give in neither in spirit nor words a small, voiceless thing, bound by root to earth; I grow towards your fire, careless that I may burn. I can't help it; I want you. in some star-mariner's net we lie shivering in the light confused, but together life's unending traffic circle at once proves and disproves the theory of forever and I am afraid you'll go, and leave me stone-blind again; strike the lyrics from my lips. and you are afraid that if we should part, I'll not breathe again. I will always breathe for you - I can't help it; I love you, and words are too fragile to tie down to this living feeling. I'll hold your light and quell your fears; I will be there when the stars fall into the sea. how can I help it? I love you. |