Napoleon's Feet - a graduate student's step(s) between the sublime and the ridiculous

FIFTY	Aug 13th, 2008 11:56:20 pm - Subscribe
this weekend while running up brunswick avenue in toronto, i fell into a hole of wet concrete up to my thighs. i stood in place and screamed loudly. afterward i crawled out and walked about four steps before falling into the next hole of wet concrete, up to my thighs. then an anvil fell on my head. this actually happened, at least, everything but the anvil.

FORTY NINE

Jul 19th, 2008 1:11:55 am - Subscribe

i found a café on the rooftop of Printemps de la Mode. i took the escalator up several floors to the roof of the store, ordered a sandwich and coffee and sat at a table facing out onto the city; a panorama including the Opéra on the left, to the Tour Eiffel on my right.

Paris is busy on weekdays. The streets may be full of people, the roads filled with cars and motorbikes, but it never feels loud.

FORTY EIGHT

Jul 11th, 2008 8:30:06 am - Subscribe

on the bus from the town of Chaulnes to the even tinier town of Péronne. my feet couldnt reach the ground and dangled as the bus climbed and fell down hills on its route. there were two other guys on the bus with me. one was a kid wearing track pants listening to a fake ipod. the other was a skinny guy with glasses and pursed lips.

i was so excited i couldnt breathe. i saw poilus all around me, miles of fields of trenches and men, covered over by grain, grass and new life. i didnt know what i would find in Péronne, but with every bump i felt my breath stop.

FORTY SEVEN

Jul 2nd, 2008 8:07:36 pm - Subscribe

i walk through the fourth, third and tenth arrondissement, up through the marais and around Republique, to get from the national archives to my apartment. it took me a little over two weeks to realise the walk is probably less lengthy and definitely more pleasant than a metro ride. the "paris by arrondissement" book that maps out each of paris' neighbourhoods by page gives a poor idea of how utterly walkable most areas in town are. for the past four years, since my very first visit to paris, ive been convinced that it is impossibly huge. in fact, it isnt impossible. most neighbourhoods, contrary to my earlier impressions, do connect with one another. a walk through paris might be long, and it might be short. there is mostly always something beautiful to see.

i walked home from the national archives and picked up some dinner items along the way. it was one of the first times since ive arrived that ive felt utterly at home. most of the time i feel a bit out of place, foreign. sometimes i feel like i can get lost in the crowd. when i wear a pretty dress, i am parisian. when im sitting in a café with no book, no computer and no knapsack, i am a parisian. when i take the metro and know where im going without looking at my map, i am parisian. but today, picking up groceries and house stuff, i didnt feel like a parisian. in fact, i didnt feel like anything in particular at all. i communicated in french without thinking, i walked down through republique without thinking. is that what feeling at home is like?

i can be parisian and canadian, foreign and at home all at once in this city. i can do it because i love it but am terrified of it at the same time.

FORTY SIX

May 30th, 2008 8:37:08 pm - Subscribe

everyone sits on terraces in montreal when the sun peeks out after a long winter. the terraces have got to be at least twice as wide as many terraces in bloomington. people sit on monkland for the afternoon. i brought a book out onto the street today and found myself strangely pleased and annoyed at the same time. i could not concentrate nearly as well as i might have been able to elsewhere, but i was incredibly happy to be surrounded by happy people outdoors.