Indiana Jones & the Raiders of the Lost Ark
Date: Mar 13th, 2007 10:26:30 pm - Subscribe
Pumpkin Pie Makes Me Feel Like: O.o
How come every archaeologist in Hollywood leads a double life?
[Indiana Jones, Lara Croft, that guy from that Bond movie...]
wtf!?!
Eddie Bauer by day and hard core kick ass by night. Huh. But you never hear about the paleobotanist who researches by day and ass kicks by night. No. I suppose for them it's more like 'run a floral shop by day and research dead plants by night' as exciting as that sounds...
I think Hollywood has a bias against paleobotanists. They're exciting too you know. Somewhere... Doing something...
But all that mystery is left up to the Archaeologists because heck, they just do a super cool job of doing it.
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At the beginning of the movie, after being taken through Shelob's summer home and watching Indi steal the only dusted and polished 'Pier 1 Import' artifact (that the second camera man got on sale at their summer clearance) Just before all that and destroying an entire landmark he runs into "Alex West"'s father. I just knew that Indi and Lara had more in common than what they were leading on about...
Oh and as for the rest of the movie goes, of course everything wrong in the world is the German's problem, pffft whatever, we get it Indi. You know Harrison, you should know better than to shoot a film about bias against a culture when you look like one of them. pfft. Oh and did I mention he's rough with the ladies, anti-debonair, lacks suave/sophistication and the ability to get rid of that stupid smirk that's always on the side of his face.
-4 Harrison.
-4.
But overall it proved entertaining enough.
I mean everyone knows that if you're gonna hide an ancient artifact in Tibet you can expect a creepy German guy who stutters and sweats constantly to show up on your doorstep. It's just common sense.
And as for that whole swapping the artifact with a bag full of sand, chyeah- pathetic.
I'm sorry but I'm sure most of us remember that because it was one of the stupidest parts of the movie. First of all, who do you know who caries around bags of sand with them?
Secondly who in the hell manages to screw up something as big as that?
We all know Tom Cruise would've done a cooler job with lowering himself from the ceiling in all, and he would've done it in black without getting any dust bunnies on himself. And we definately know Daniel Craig could've done it. He would have walked straight up to it, taken it and as soon as that unnecessarily huge soccer ball came rolling out he would have put out his hand and just stopped it. With no hassle. No running. No stapling safari hats to his head.
I think Daniel Craig is the real Indiana Jones and James Bond combined...
Yup. That'll do it.
I'm out.
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