tigerfly's Blog

poisoned
Date: Sep 8th, 2006 1:43:48 am - Subscribe
Mood: frustrated


It's weird how uncomfortable I feel at home right now. My roomie is so medicated most of the time, either on prescriptions or coke, and he doesn't see it as an addiction and it creeps me out. And he's so inconsiderate but sees himself as this tough on the outside (with his tattoos and shaved head) but cookie sweet on the inside type, but he's not. Just very in to himself and his own party atmosphere. He is 36 yrs old and hangs out with little 21 year old cokeheads and E-tards for the most part. Yes, I went through that self-indulgent, find-myself through experimenting with drugs, partying and self-involved conversations phase. But I got over it about 6 years ago and I'm ten years his juniour. Plus, he always needs to be the center of attention. He will come in to the room and just start talking. Doesn't matter if I'm in the bathroom having a bath, he'll stand outside the door and talk. Doesn't matter if I'm on the phone, he'll attempt to start a conversation anyway. He acts like he needs a spotlight following him around. Acts like he's lonely all the time. Middle child syndrome?And if I don't laugh at the pathetic punchlines of his stories? he'll just keep repeating it til i "get it". (like, get it, he said the your mom joke? you get it. your mom, oh man, hilarious). Oh man, immature. I can't stand it anymore. And if he interrupts another personal business phone call I'll scream. And if he keeps talking about hitting on 20year olds, i'll scream louder. He is actually proud that two of his friends are drug dealers. Grow up. I am no straight laced sweet good girly girl either, but I am nowhere near that bad. I am not a hypocrite. He is the hugest hypocrite in the entire world. If he says he feels strongly about doing something one way you can bet he'll do it the opposite way. Or do what he says he hates. Or never does. Like drinking. Gawd. He's not the worst roommate but I cringe when I think of leaving the house on the weekends to work my shift and leaving all that stuff in my room. What if he has some party girl over the morning after and she sneaks in here while he's sleeping or in the can? steals my stuff.......it could happen. And I hate finding balled-up used kleenexes everywhere. I always leave em for a couple of days, but he never picks them up. And garbage in the hall and half eaten food and slurpee containers that attract flies. And this is stuff he never does mind you, cuz he can't stand an untidy house. or so he says all the time. grrrrrrrr........ guess i am more tense about this than i thought. i intended to write only one or two sentences.

so i am looking for a new place but places are few and far between and i haven't had any luck so far. i've tried. i'm keeping this on the down low from my roommate so i look for places and call em while he's at work. then i'll give my one month notice when i find somewhere, if it's before the 15th. I don't want to screw him over, that's not my style. But I don't want my life to be hell if i can't find somewhere this month. Best to do what's best for all involved.

In the meantime I work around when he's gonna be home and try to be home the least amount possible in general. i feel less creative lately, which is a shame cuz I started some really good projects and wanna finish them. But the stress of work and the tension when I'm here make it impossible for me to feel focused. I work on the projects, but he keeps interrupting and I get frustrated, lose the flow. Or i'm tense so what i do get done is usually crap and I end up re-doing it anyway. Such a dilemma. I just want a place that feels like Home.
Comments: (0)

ReCaptcha:

Anonymous guest, why not register, or login now.