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TL Magazine's Exclusive Interview With Suffian 'The Flash' Hakim
Mar 19th, 2007 8:59:41 am - Subscribe

Yesterday's game against Kawabunga FC was a highly emotional night for TLFC fans the world over. They panicked as Ezekiel's delectable lob beat debutant goalie Sam. They prayed to the depths of their spirituality as the score read 1-0 against TLFC at the half-time whistle. They laughed in tremendous relief as skipper Jon The Hummer scored the convulated but overall-effective equalizer. They feared the worst when Kawabunga's right midfielder, Siva, (who ironically was once on-loan to TLFC) scored midway through the second half to make it 2-1 to Kawabunga.

But by the end of the game, their hearts were soaring. Two goals by attacker Suffian Hakim made it a memorable 3-2 victory for the TLFC fans.

In the post-match conference, TLFC manager The Gaffer declared, "Suff scored two goals, but I won the game for us." It was perhaps boastful to most neutrals but the fact of the matter was this: The changes he made over the half-time team talk had produced some vibrant attacking displays by The Losers. It was managerial genius at its best.

While some might think it was a case of an unsung hero crying out for his song, we interviewed the un-unsung hero earlier today about his thoughts on yesterday's match, and life as a player in TLFC.

Hello Mr. Suffian Hakim. I'm Carmen Vanwomen, reporting for TL Magazine.
Good morning. You can call me Suff.

Would you like to share with us your thoughts and feelings about the game?
I thought it was a very good, open game. Fantastic for soccer purists out there. We have close ties with Kawabunga, so beating them is indeed a bittersweet feeling. It's funny how we're close friends as a team with Kawabunga, but we play so differently, you know? Look at Liverpool and Sheffield United. They're friends as teams, and the way they play is so similar. But for us and Kawabunga, it's different. Part of me wishes it ended up as a draw.

So two goals - an equalizer and a winner. Your feelings on them?
It's a fantastic feeling, for now. I know it will pass. Two goals come and go. Three points are more permanent.

But undoubtedly, these two goals have made you an instant celebrity...
Perhaps, but the team is already full of celebrities. Zat (TLFC midfielder Aizat Amali) is already a big celebrity with his rogue-ish good looks and his tremendous fashion sense. We have very gorgeous ladies stalking our training grounds just to catch a glimpse of Zat, asking him to marry them. Nazir's already a star in China, we all know that. Mus is a spokesperson for the UFANI (United Front Against Non-Indies). I think the media attention I may get for these two goals is nothing compared to the frenzy these individuals have been through.

I can tell that TLFC is not just another soccer team full of just soccer players. You mentioned Mustakjm van Haasnje's role as a spokesperson for the UFANI. What other projects are the other players involved in?
Nazir's currently promoting his debut album in China. It's very good music - you should check it out. It has a very edgy, hip-hop-ish feel to it. Aizat is a model for Topman. He is also endorsing brands such as Billabong, Gatsby and Veluu Superglue. Darryl is endorsing Down Under Barbers. They're from Down Under, and they only do their barbering for 'down under', if you know what I mean. Nas is with Nazir promoting his album - we may be doing individual projects but our team spirit and camaraderie lives on. Nas has a track on the cd titled 'All You T'hellos Get Off The Bus'. Syah does gay porn. Faliq is a student in a school for people with special needs.

How about you?
No I'm not interested in doing gay porn.

I meant, is there anything you would like to get into?
Your pants, baby.

Oh my...
Haha that was a Nas moment. Okay seriously...

Oh, you weren't serious... (damn it)
I'm sorry babe. You're very shagadelic but I only have three loves right now: Soccer and counting. TLFC is my life.

Are you aware of The Gaffer's comments that your two goals were secondary to his tactical and managerial talents?
Yes I am. I am very much aware.

What can you comment about that?
I can't really. There has to be a reason why a man needs to declare his abilities like that. Maybe it's the recent probe by the CPIB into corruption allegations against him. Maybe he wants to prove that his ankle is not connected to his brain, that his ankle injury does not affect his ability to win games. Maybe he just feels jealous because my new agent, Miss Fiona Xie, intimidates him and he wants to put me - her client - in my place. I really can't tell. What I can tell, is that those declarations were not misplaced. Nor were they made in folly.

So the TLFC camp is not in turmoil?
Camp? What camp? We're going camping?

I mean the team. Is it in turmoil?
Definitely not.

One last question.
Oh you're going already?

Not really. I'm just ending the interview.
So that means I can buy you a post-interview drink?

Haha I don't mind.
Fantastic. So, what's the question?

What are your plans for the future, in respect to TLFC?
I plan to win the league, that's for sure. Then I'm going to give you another exclusive interview. And if you like, an exclusive visit to my place. We'll see.

Sounds good.
Now for that drink...

Comments: (8)


tlfc - March 19th, 2007
Eh Nas. You sister looks like Carmen Vanwomen ah. When she's older I'll satay ah thanks

anonymous - March 20th, 2007
actually i tink e guy in the pic looks like me lah..The Hummer

anonymous - March 20th, 2007
wat special school... i noe im like x-men lah but no need tell the whole world right... -fox

anonymous - March 21st, 2007
i dunno where u got this Vanwomen ah. But you know Van Damme? I'm gonna whack you like he does if you satay my sister. ANW, since when did Sheffield Utd have the same standard as Liverpool?? Liverpool is way better ah k.


tlfc - March 21st, 2007
Ni entry Suff but ya. But seriously la, what's wrong with sataying your sister


tlfc - March 21st, 2007
nas there are two facts of life that you can't escape: taxes, and that liverpool plays like sheffield united.and obviously, mus hasn't met...ZIYAD


tlfc - March 22nd, 2007
Haa... Ziyad dah ada satay ah... so hes taken... Natasha zat dah satay... but wait guys.. our next game will be at the field of best west side school ever k...

anonymous - March 25th, 2007
Eh punks log out of tlfc after you're done la. My bloody avatar's on your frigging comments.


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