| Bikini_Fashion Bikini Fashion She’s Too Fat for Me.” Does anyone remember the lyrics?I have no idea why I do. No one ever sang them to me because they know I have a powerful punch and if I’m too short to reach their face, I am a pretty good kicker.The song went something like: “I don’t want her. You can have her. She’s too fat for me.” It was a polka. I must have been to a lot of Polish weddings.The fashion industry is putting a different spin on the song. They’re saying that models are too skinny for the rest of us.I don’t follow the fashion industry religiously. I do love to see beautiful clothes, even though, like most of us, I can’t afford them and would have nowhere to wear them even if I could. Yet, it is interesting to see what’s new and trendy for those who can.Every now and again I’m awed by a fashion piece on television. I look in awe at the fashions, which I don’t quite understand, and I look in awe at the models, which I really don’t understand. How in the world can they be so thin? How can they not eat anything and have the energy to walk down the runway? How can they wear those high heels and not trip from exhaustion?I’m far too old to be envious or even to engage in a rigorous daily workout so I could even pretend that I might ever look like them. But I am sympathetic. Do models ever go out for pizza and a root beer float?My interest was piqued when I ran across a news piece reporting that fashion designers are worried that their models look too thin for the rest of the public. They’re trying to fix this. I read that one group is digitally enhancing their models to look as though they’ve gained a few pounds.I found that quite intriguing. They’re not asking the models to gain a few pounds. Instead, they’re using computersto make it look like they did. Simply said, they’retrying to fake out the public. Their designs are still impossible for any of us to fit into, let alone afford, but they’re turning to photographic magic to make us think that we might be able to squeeze into those numbers.Back in September, Spain’s fashion industry took a bold leap. The Madrid regional government enforced a ban on underweight models. It’s a sign that Spaniards have some sense. Their plan is to make the fashion-conscious envision a healthier body image. Let’s hear it for the Spaniards! Over 30 percent of Madrid’s models were disqualified from appearing in a runway show because they were just too thin.There’s a saying that you can never be too rich or too thin. I’ll go for the first half.We all know about airbrushing. That’s the method of making all of those flawless celebrities on magazine covers look even more flawless. If I could get my hands on an airbrush, I’d use it every morning even if I weren’t going anywhere. I don’t have a clue how to make myself digitally thinner. I know how to make myself naturally chubbier. It’s called ice cream.I recently saw an ad heralding the coming of swimsuit season. (I don’t believe in swimsuit season. I’m more into parka season.) A woman had a red bikini and a black one-piece suit on her bed. She was pondering how much weight she’d have to lose to get into her red bikini. I immediately thought of a long-ago trip to Italy. That was before the euro. My spouse and I went to a topless resort for lunch. We had no plans to join in on the nudity. We were just curious. My mother was with us. She declined our luncheon invitation.The two of us were just silly American tourists. I was dressed in my bathing suit, which looked like something out of the ’20s. He was garbed in a suit that was not manufactured by a swim team or any company that was Italian. We were on the far right side of conservative. I even made him hide his camera.Lunching among the topless was not a pretty sight. Many of the sun worshippers were twice as old as we were. Watching a topless 80-year-old eating spaghetti was not an appetizing sight.At the pool I buried my head in a book. I wasn’t really reading. I was staring at my spouse to see whom he was staring at. To my amazement, he wasn’t staring at the topless crew. He was staring at a well-built young woman in a one-piece black bathing suit. I was jealous, but rather proud. He had taste. I guess that was why he was with me. That lady on the commercial should ditch the red bikini.The fashion industry should take their lovely models out to dinner and give them doughnut breaks. They shouldn’t digitally create them to look as though they might have had lunch that day. I believe they must reinvent what is perfect. It would be good for all of us. |
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