xmidnightx
Disney Eyes - Subscribe
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afew years ago, shiv commented on my eyes. she said i had disney eyes. she said that they were so big, oval and bright that they reminded her of disney characters. since then, no-one had EVER commented on my eyes. until yesterday when keiran said "you still have those disney eyes". it was so strange - i had totally forgotten about it... it was really... undescribable |
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1 Comments
Mood: reminiscant ..today.midnight.is.wearing..: q\'silver jeans, blue striped poloshirt, converse (black) |
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xmidnightx
updatedness Aug 12th, 2005 5:14:52 am - Subscribe
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whoa, i haven't blogged in ages, it makes me feel lost! lol! well heres why! tuesday OMG - i met up with friends from school - this is a very abnormal event. sam and i met up and went for a picnic on abbey park! it was really cool!  we were sitting beside the canal with what would have been the abbey's perimeter wall right behind us. the wall has those little cross shaped window things in them. i thought that they had all been filled in with muck over time but it turns out that one of them hadn't and this little kid decided to scare the shit out of us! he shouted something and at first i thought that it was just my paranoia messing up my senses again, then he shouted something again and sam and i looked at eachother, then he shouted again and we realised! it was really scary - i thought my paranoia was returning again!then we went back into town and met up with claire! we had just walked across from the clock tower (where we met her) and jade screamed at us! she had just spent 3 weeks in cuba - she looked like a bloody african (not that she isn't anywhere - she just looked kinda faded before!) but she was with kantas and hamilton. kantas and i ran at eachother in the road to hug and he picked me up and accidentally bend backwards meaning that he ALMOST dropped me on my head in the middle of a road!!! but it was fun! so we hung out for a bit and then i went babysitting, then when i got home dave and caroline were here. we sat down for dinner and my phone started ringing - i thought it would have been duncan but ...dun dun dun... it was keiran - my big brother (well he isn't really but he treats me like a sister and looks after me and everything - he is better than all my fuckwit brothers put together - i hate them all for leaving me)! so that was nice to hear from him! wednesday wednesday, met up with duncan and then came home to return to a house with an extra body in it! KEIRAN CAME TO VISIT! i was soooooooooooooo excited! i ran from the bus, leaving duncan to walk, and jumped up to hug him! i was so happy. so we talked for ages and then helped them all get ready for my moms bday party in which they all had to dress up as school children! twas a laugh! then we got the taxi with them into town and went to the charlotte to see lacosai again. they were good. before we went in, we stood on 'our little road'. i was seeing things there though, it scared me. i used to see things alot when i used to get bullied. it still happens, but not as bad as wednesday night. we were standing with a door in veiw. i glanced at it once and it was ajar with someone standing in it - it was a woman in her 20-30s wearing dark but colourful clothes. then i blinked and she had vanished but the door was still open, then i blinked again and the door was shut. now, duncan didn't see any of this and he was looking in that direction the whole time - plus a door and a human would not have moved that fast (if you get me? it was in like a second) then i kept glancing and the door would be ajar, then closed - this is coming from an pretty abandoned building (i think) then in the charlotte duncan got upset over something i did. then we got home and hung out for a bit, it was gooooooooood! hehe! then when everyone came home we watched BB - craig got evicted. stayed up till 3:30 talking and stuff - i hope we didn't keep people awake - i was trying to keep whispering! thursday duncan stayed in bed for ages, i pottered around ect - finally got him up with the aid of cold water! hehe! we went for a walk around the fields again, then went to the services for dinner... woo KFC! hehe! then we hung out for abit - then dave came, then mom got home and he went, then we messed about upstairs for abit - then he went home. jade the slut and her crue were there - great. she thinks she knows me - does she think i am cool or something? i think she is a slut and i really don't like her. nevermind! well that is my explanation for not blogging - not enough time on my hands! nevermind! well i will blog today again, and tomorrow a couple of times and then i am going on holiday to peuta rico (gran canaria) so i doubt there will be an internet cafe about but if there is i will blog as often as possible!  hehe! i miss blogging!well i hope you have all been well in my absence. take care |
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Mood: lost ..today.midnight.is.wearing..: a RX Bandits Teeshirt that i use as a nightshirt because it drowns me! |
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xmidnightx
wishing well Aug 8th, 2005 7:53:40 am - Subscribe
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i went swimming again today. my stamina is improving. i started out the first time i went by just doing 10 lengths of breast stroke, i did 30 today and could have easily carried on but i didn't cos i will do 40 next time, then 50 and so on. its a lush day - i have been sitting in the garden listening to incubus, REM, midtown and TBS - hurah for me... it got a little too hot and boring though so i came in and decided to blog! missing duncan today...  i only saw him yesterday... - i am pathetic! im not seeing him until wednesday though now - lacosai's practice today, then he has the doctors and i have babysitting tomorrow so that brings us to wednesday! i still need to ask my mom if he can stay - it should be ok, but she does have more people staying for her party so... i don't know - there will be 5 people in the house, 3 more than usual. i hope it is ok though, i have some things in mind that i want to do - get rid of some of the jack is one of them i guess! i don't want to get too pissed though, my mom will realise you see - well she will be pissed too but nevermind! lacosai are playing in battle of the bands on wednesday and we are going to see them, hence dunc coming over because we might be late! but anyhoo |
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xmidnightx
a sky held up by stars Aug 8th, 2005 4:38:22 am - Subscribe
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howdee all! yesterday was awesome! i met duncan at about 1:15 and we went swimming again, to braunstone again. it was really good. as it was a sunday, they had a splash disco on so they were playing music and they had all of the floats out lol! so we did some actual swimming and then played with the floats for abit - i think we were the oldest people there! i think i am going to go swimming in a bit - i have nothing else to do! i just hope it isn't too busy this time! after swimming, we had to walk home because there were no busses, but it only took half an hour so that was ok! when we got home, it was amazing!  then we went to the motorway services for a burger king for dinner, i don't know why - i guess we just fancied it! then we came home and that was amazing too i think i should get paranoid more often then mom came home, and shortly after, duncan went home and mom and i watched big brother. i so thought that they were going to crane lift makosi out of there, but they just held her hostage in there and made the housemates choose either treats (take aways, cigarettes, tea and scones and cakes) or let makosi back! everyone chose the treats except eugine! bless him! yet again, i seem to find myself bored! i think i will draw myself a timetable so that i don't end up not doing ANYTHING today! im such a lazy fool! well i think i need to get some breakfast now! when i went to bed last night, it felt so lonely and cold where was my dunky to keep me warm! does anyone actually read my blog anymore?? |
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xmidnightx
boredom with brandy snaps on the side please Aug 7th, 2005 6:14:33 am - Subscribe
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right now i am listening to: new found glory - head on collision talking to: matt mcnulty wearing: black mini-skirt and pink gingham shirt feeling: like i don't listen to enough pop-punk/punk rock (\m/ sugarcult \m/) eating: a brandy snap looking at: the trike in the garden thinking: that my msn is fucked up hoping: that the swimming pool is open and that things go alright today wishing: on a star enjoing: this brandy snap and all the pop punk i am listening to! waiting for: matt to come back from what ever he is doing! as you can see, i am slightly bored i have some time to waste before i go swimming - hoping that the baths are open! BRANDY SNAPS ARE AWESOME! |
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xmidnightx
misinterpretation by you and i Aug 6th, 2005 12:57:03 pm - Subscribe
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things are taken for granted too often these days. simple phrases which people use on a day to day basis seem to have lost their meaning. an obvious suggestion would be i love you. how many people say it and actually mean it these days? do people actually know what it means? granted, it means different things to different people, but it is still thrown around. i mean, it isn't just this phrase that got me thinking, there is so much that we probably don't comprehend, but say anyway - probably because we have heard other people use it, in the same context or something to that suit. sorry about my little... rant - if you will, i just felt i needed to express it. |
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xmidnightx
you all remember pokemon right?! Aug 6th, 2005 7:46:03 am - Subscribe
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sorry i havent't been blogging that often recently, i don't know why, i don't think i have been that busy. i guess i have just been at duncs alot recently. yesterday was odd... things just seemed kinda weird, i thought i had done something wrong and that dunc was going to finish with me. parkes helped me alot last night, i needed someone to talk to and i just couldn't think of who i could talk to, he was perfect! he helped me. and he invited me to his house when i come back from gran canaria, which will be awesome, i can't wait! i REALLY hope that it happens though, because he is a really good friend to me! so yea, i confronted duncan, and things are ok i think, so that is ok! today i am boring, i have no plans until 11:30 pm! in which i am going to the cinema - what a stupid time that is! but i think it is the last showing so... yea im going to see dark water? i think, roger and i said we would go to see it so... the last time we went to the cinema was to see chicken run! now that was a looooooooooooong time ago! lol! i am hooked on incubus right now, i am obsessed! however, i am trying to wean myself into screamo, some of it isn't working though, but nevermind! it might take time! i won two pairs of (fake) converse on ebay the other day, in total they cost £3.20! for TWO pairs of lush shoes! they are both nice pairs, one light blue pair and one striped pair! they came this morning, but i was in bed and didn't hear the doorbell, so i have to go to the post office HQ to get them, however, i can't get there myself, and my mom is working on monday! so im screwed! i have booked my coach ticket! i am going to see matt on the 27th august! 2 days after i get my results! i am meeting him in guildford, i will leave leicester at 7, get there at 12, and i will be leaving at 1 and will get home at 11! i am REALLY looking forward to it, i haven't seen him for a year! i may have only met him that once, for that one week on holiday, but we connected and i miss him so much! he is the kind of person that i would want to marry! maybe in 20 years if we are still in touch... who knows! he is an amazing artist, so clever, but yea, he got bored the other day and went crazy! we all remember pokemon!  lol! its so cool! ahh, i can't wait to see him again! he is such a good friend! but yea, its almost 2 in the afternoon, and i am still not dressed yet! lol! nevermind, i am happily listening to incubus! i am going to read my book - woman in white YOU SHOULD READ IT, IT IS AWESOME! bella has come to say hello toodles have a nice day |
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xmidnightx
not again, not now Aug 5th, 2005 5:34:14 pm - Subscribe
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i can see it unraveling again. why do i have to have the ability to sense things that aren't to my advantage. why things that will hurt me? this isn't going to be a repeat is it? as tears are slowly rolling down my cheeks, i can see it happening, right before me. i don't want this, not now. im scared. |
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xmidnightx
unpleasant dreams Aug 4th, 2005 5:04:24 am - Subscribe
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Last night I had a dream. I got shot by someone vaguely familiar, yet I was unsure who the person was. He shot me about 8-16 times however I knew it was a dream, therefore I was unable to feel a thing. I began to reason with my assasin, whilst he was torturing my friends. I knew that these people were my friends, yet I had not a clue to their identities. Soon after, he vanished. I decided to run, I couldn't physically run dar, but I had to get to somewhere safe, where there were people to look after me. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, but they felt like lead. It was about 2 in the morning at this time. I ran around the fence dividing the neighbours and our houses, and sprinted down their drive. I opened their porch and pounded on their front doors. My fists did not appear to be making a sound, it was extremely muffeled. So I kicked and kicked, but there was no answer. I decided that I wan't getting an answer from the OyleOyle's so I figured that I was standing in a glass porch and if the assasin was to leave my house, he would see me. So I curled up in a ball on the floor. Then Ayo came to the door "He murdered me and my friends" (what bad grammar the heidi of my dreams has!) I shouted, aware that it was very quiet and if I was too loud, he could possibly hear me. Ayo let me in, comforted me, and let me sleep on his sofa. From the point where i was running, I no longer knew that i was dreaming, it seemed so real. They had alot of visitors, all children. Not all relatives though, surely. Most were british, the OyleOyle's are Nigerian. All these children stooped over me like hawks... From this point on, all I remember is feeling scared, I think. |
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4 Comments
Mood: analytic ..today.midnight.is.wearing..: long skirt, new quicksilver blue V-Neck sweater |
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xmidnightx
god damn the shoe demons Aug 3rd, 2005 7:05:38 am - Subscribe
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just come home from shopping with mom'a! hehe! i was going to buy the star shoes but they looked tragic on! lol! so i have ordered some nice blue/green golas, they are cool! but i can't get them until we are back from peuto rico, which means i might be able to get some from there instead! we had a spending spree in irish lol! mom bought herself a brown english lace skirt, which is really nice, and she bought me a really nice, pale blue, quicksilver V-neck sweater that is really nice, she also got me a blue skirt which is really nice, it was only £10! and also a purple chilli-pepper top which has a VW camper on it! its lush! lol! and then i bought myself woman in white as i REALLY wanted it! so for the rest of the day, i have little plans - just horse riding, thats all! so i have about 3.5 hours to kill! lol! nevermind! i had a very nice chocolate chip cookie after my lunch, it was lovely! it could have been a little softer though, it hurt my jaw a little bit, but not as much as the crusty cob - im not allowed them, but i really fancied one! i really wanted to get these light blue converse today, but the whole country had sold out of size 3s! i was gutted, i had my heart set on them! well nevermind, my new shoes are nice too! |
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2 Comments
Mood: good ..today.midnight.is.wearing..: right now... converse, burgandy cords, studded belt, v-neck sweater, underwear, watch, black beads, my ring... |
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| Nowadays, I try not to possess what I don't really need. In fact, I think I have begun to enjoy the activity of keeping or collecting worldly possessions, such as simply staring at the Sun, the moon, the stars and the sky, eventually. Due to I found my life too fat and loaded with too many things that aren't really relevant to myself too many times before. Look at my wardrobe, it is filled with a pile of clothes that looked extremely cool in the boutique, but it makes me feel kind of shy and awkward whenever I go out in the public. Jewelry, cosmetics and other accessories are also included. This got me thinking that I could have saved a fortune if I had not spent it all on the above-mentioned items. How I wish I had my money back! Therefore, I try to think twice before purchasing any products to avoid feeling guilty for buying it later on. Well, I still wish that I could turn back the hands of time somehow so that I wouldn't waste any of my money away, but of course, that's nothing but merely a wishful thinking, I know. |
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xmidnightx
work, money, love and boredom Aug 2nd, 2005 2:57:41 pm - Subscribe
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i have just finished eating my dinner. i had fish and chips. it was lovely! babysitting was good - johde made me play basketball with him for like 2 hours! but it made time fly so that was ok! hehe! and then luca wet himself... duncan is away... meh! i was going to ask him to come riding with me tomorrow but i have riding... actually, we might be able to work around his paper round! lol! i dont know... got paid £8 today... i guess thats ok, i didn't work for as long so i guess thats computable. i should be hearing back from the castle soon, i really hope so - i would LOVE to work there! its such a posh restaurant! hehe! but i was thinking, when i start back at school i will be getting minimum £38 a month from child minding, then £20 a month from my mom, then minimum £40p/m from ema, even though i think i will be getting £20/£30 so even without working at the castle i will have £100 a month which i could happily live on! i think i am going to call duncan right now, to discuss tomorrow the barrel is loaded so go an paint your target |
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xmidnightx
blog 100 Aug 2nd, 2005 6:46:55 am - Subscribe
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wow, i have been here for what, nearly 3 months and gotten to my 100th blog this fast! hehe! i am a confessed blogaholic! hehe well yesterday was fun, i didn't see seb but nevermind, i saw dunc and i went shopping ! hehe! yesterday i said that my mom wanted me to get a skirt that wasn't black and that i would rather a nice pair of boardshorts, well i found a gorgeous pair of boardshorts for £25 and i had £26.85 in my bank so i was happy! they are really nice, they are animal, white with pink circles on, they look like bubbles, and inside some of the bubbles have different colours - so i can wear them with pink, white, yellow or blue! and i went to look for some lime green converse, because i really wanted some, so i went to schuh, where i usually buy shoes from, and they had the most amazing shoes in the world! they were EXACTLY what i wanted! hehe! they were Babycham (the make/style i wanted) and they had velcro straps (i wanted velcro straps on another pair of babychams but they didn't do them) they were the style i wanted (baseball kinda style - like chucks but not high tops) they were black (which i want) and to top it off - they have STARS on them! (I HAVE AN OVERWHELMING OBSESSION WITH STARS)so i was happy! i will get them this week i think - my mommy will fund them i guess, she always funds my shoes! so today, all i have is babysitting... fun! lol! on sunday there was a McFly concert on, so i taped it because a) i was out and b) because McFly are my guilty pleasure! and i watched it today and they only showed two songs! how bollocks is that! it was all talking with the organiser! it was shit! lol! last night my mom taped "the house of obsessive compulsives" which i will watch when i have finished what i am doing on my mp3 player so ! it looked really good! the top psychiatrist for dealing with obsessive compulsives decided that the only possibility of a cure was to put them all in a house together and see how they coped! i don't know - i will update on it later! it takes so long to upload songs to my mp3 player! grrrrrrrr! lol! i am REALLY loving incubus at the minute! they are awesome! i think that you don't have to be in a certain scene to actually like incubus - i reckon that anyone could say they like incubus and not get ripped for it... if you see where im coming from! they are awesome! and brandon is hot! my friend's sister named her baby after him! whoa, its august now... everything is going so fast... this time last year i was with matt... what a mistake... i would also be on holiday - IN CORNWALL! i wish i could go back a year - there would be so many things i would do differently - i would have ended it with matt, i would have sucked the face off of matt (london) just so he would get over sarah and given him a chance at enjoying his holiday! lol! what a strange reason! but its true - i would have done! this entry is beginning to seem quite lengthly, but i don't care! my songs haven't finished uploading yet! i will keep talking until they do! ha! we are on 28 mb of 68mb so i might be a while here folks! i layed out all my (some unfinished) paintings for my cousins wedding yesterday, they look alright - well they will do when they are finished! whoa this song sounds familiar - what is it... make yourself - i've heard it before... its a nice enough day today, i might change into my new shorts! they are lush! hehe! i am turning into jade - that is her word! hehe! nevermind! i love her to bits! and i miss her like sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much! i miss matt too, but hopefully i will be seeing him when i get back from peuto rico! ahh i found it on the map now... yesterday i couldn't find it! but on the gran canaria book i found it! phew! lol! hehe! it looks nice! and there is a ranch not too far from us so thats gonna be fine for me! i can go riding! yay! i wonder if it will be spanish stylee? god damn, i need to learn spaninsh... i might have to buy a book... i'm going to buy woman in white - maybe next week though... i think i will buy a spanish book tomorrow though - then i have more time to learn! but i can't nail a spanish sounding accent - it just sounds french - im good a sounding french! and there is a water park nearby so that will be nice - and out appartment is next to a pool which is dandy! and there are lots of shops apparantly! so im happpy with that!this is taking so long! its pissing me off! lol! im gonna leave the computer fill stop in a mo! ill go and do my hair i guess! dunc bought the new ffaf album, hours, yesterday - it isn't as good as casually dressed but it is ok - he put it on my mp3 for me! as well as all his incubus and some random stuff like the hives and *shhh*fightstar (just paint your target - their only good song)*shh* |
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5 Comments
Mood: sedated ..today.midnight.is.wearing..: jeans and pink polo shirt but i might change in a mo |
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| I will be accompanying my grandma to visit her dear friend in Paris next summer, which is certainly a good news here. However, there's a far more pressing matter that's needed to be considered as soon as possible. I may have to move to stay with my auntie who's been assigned a new position in another state for three years very soon. The problem is she's already moved to the new location since 2004, but she seems to be homesick and lonely still. Due to all of her family members, her husband and their two sons, have to stay and work here. For this reason, she wanted me to live near her, enrol in the university of her choice, and quit the course that I am currently studying here. Well, I have to admit that I've always dreamed of getting away from my hometown, gain a raw sense of freedom, and start a life in a whole new place, but on the other hand, I'm still afraid of starting all over again, and I am also scared I might just make a stupid mistake and lose it all. The worst thing is I have to be away from my boyfriend for a really long time, and I totally despised it. I've never been away from him before, and I certainly don't want to now. What a painful dilemma! |
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xmidnightx
moo-ha-ha Aug 1st, 2005 4:56:16 am - Subscribe
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wooo orlaith left BB, but now kinga is in - i don't know which is worse? and what kind of name is kinga - im sure it isn't polish! well yesterday i hung out with duncan! yay! it was fun! and i'm hanging out with him again today! i was supposed to be seeing seb today but there is no need now! because my CD burner has died so i am having to email him 39 photos! one batch has sent - two more batches are sending! i have sent the batch of frankie, and the batches of jon-luc and cliff photos are in movement! so that leaves a batch of lacosai pictures, seb pics and the movies!*thumbs up* so today my mom has told me to look for a skirt which isn't black... but i might just look for some board shorts or something like that instead! there is a higher chance of me actually wearing them again! wow im chatting to lee, its so nice to talk to him! i love him to bits! why wouldn't i, he has adopted me as his little sister! yesterday we watched blackadder... i think thats about all we did! fun! hehe! nah it was really! these pictures are taking ages! i still have to do my hair, change my bed, do the washing up! terrible! |
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xmidnightx
shut up you \"emo fag\" - how immature Jul 31st, 2005 3:44:15 am - Subscribe
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yesterday, i got called an 'emo fag' - do i look like an emo cigarette? i didn't think so! and it was by a filfy goffic too! it proves that whatever is hot in america - they just try to be like it over here! 'emo fag' is most definately an american phrase, seeing as 'emo' originated from america and moved over here (big time) about 6 months ago (where as people like josh and i have been into it since like... upto 2 years ago...) and the term 'fag' is not used as an offensive word, but slang for a cigarette! darn rat kids! i didn't even do anything to deserve being called something so immature, i was just sitting on the grass! it was stoopid! but hey, kids today will never learn! well i have to go see my darling boyfriend now! yay! hehe! i luuuuuuuuuuurve him!
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3 Comments
Mood: emo faggish! ..today.midnight.is.wearing..: burgand cords, atticus burdie top, studded belt (YAY I HAVE IT BACK!) converse, meh! |
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xmidnightx
webcamxwhore part 3 Jul 30th, 2005 7:53:14 am - Subscribe
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BOREDOM = WEBCAM = LOTS OF PHOTOS! im not vain... honest! i just like taking photos! and i have nothing else to take them of!     how cute is that! my gorgeous kitty!         how sweet is that one!    i feel bad for being kinda vain now! nevermind... i was bored! and i feel more confident now! |
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7 Comments
Mood: attractive ..today.midnight.is.wearing..: quicksilver jeans, white shirt with the astros are out of this world tee on top avec converse |
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| I had dinner with my mum last night and it feels really special. We went to this Italian pizzeria and ordered a small-sized chicken and mushroom pizza. Now let me tell you I just love eating the pizza with her, because she likes to divide the pizza into 4 slices. She only takes one piece, and then the rest will always be given to me. It is not that she does not like Italian food. She just seemed to be rather worried about the high calories and all. Well, I love to eat nearly every kind of food anyway, so I have no complaint about her ultimate decision at all. After that, we went to the shopping mall to get my mum a pair of pretty shoes, and we also bought a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables there before heading home as well. To speak my mind, I have not felt this close to her for a really long time, so I guess I have to thank my mother for making all of this happened. Thanks a lot, mum. |
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xmidnightx
whoreible - what a dudey word Jul 29th, 2005 10:14:32 am - Subscribe
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i know exactly what goes on... i am on a TBS spreeeeeee! i can't help it, i am again, in love! i am infatuated... again! lol! i thought my phase had passes, but, alas, it hasn't! nevermind! they make me happpppppy! ahh im so hyper! i bought myself some beaded bracelets today! they are perdy! lol! black beads! i have been after some for a while so i am happy, my wrist is no longer bare (except my watch, which looked oh so lonely!) ahh duncan is home tomorrow - he doesn't know about my radical hair change ness! lol! i was going to dye it pink on his return but i think i shall keep it au natural for now! lol! weeeeeeeeeee! im happy! if you havent already check out my http://www.aeonity.com/xmidnightx/blog/18519 they are new pictures and they are rad so that cool! go see... NOW *points finger*i am soooooo hyper... you mich have been able to tell... damn! its 4:10... thats late! i thought it was like 2! i don't think i woke up late... 10 isn't late right? well i guess it is... nevermind! lol! dinner time soon! i think my mom has made pie, yay! i love pie!i swear, all you americans and you silly spellings, it best not affect my school work! spelling colour - color and centre - center! lol! why can't HTML work in english too! evilness! nah, i love you americans really! *nods* *offers a huggle* i have to wear a silly contraption in my mouth... its not as bad as the old one, i can actually keep it in without gagging! lol! so its all good, and you can't tell that much that i am wearing it, i mean i can't shut my mouth and when i speak, i sound like a deaf person, no offence to deaf people! they rock, i would hate to be deaf - i would die without music! lol! poor darlings! but sign language is proper awesome! i would love to learn it! |
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xmidnightx
webcamxwhore... again... Jul 29th, 2005 9:44:46 am - Subscribe
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2 Comments
Mood: photographic ..today.midnight.is.wearing..: black cords, white shirt, with smallville elementary top over it! |