OMG.

http://www.fuse.tv/content/contests2/?contest_id=306

*GULP*. Help. It's only available to US residents.

*Twitch*...O.O

I just had to post this also.

I'm feeling like i'm alone now. All my friends have gone. There's aquaintences...the people you say hi to and hardly catch up with. Then there are my friends - who are sadly becoming aquaintences. I'm losing everyone. I try to keep in contact, i msg people and whatever...but no. No one wishes to even know me.

What the hell have i done? I have no idea. All i've ever been is friendly to people - my dad was right. He told me in Year 10 - (2 years before i finished High School) that "you'll be surprised how many friends you have left after you finish school...i hardly have anyone."

I thought this was unusual because he has friends - well i thought - but they're more on a business level. I guess i'm following the same road. My boyf seems to be my only friend. Then i have like classmates or like, workmates - but i don't catch up with them. I miss all my high school mates - never see them anymore.

I'm alone. I'll deal with it. I'm a loser/loner and whatever other negative bullshit i can tag myself.

The only friends i seem to get when i go out are drunken guys that are absolute pricks who only want a 'good time'.

SAD. SAD. SAD.

"Shut the fuck up she said, i'm going fucking deaf you're always too loud, everything's too loud - now that all my friends left, this place is fucking dead i wanna move out, when can we move out this shit has gotta stop. I'll run away..."

How lovely worded is that intro by the uber talented Blink 182. Well that could be me - or is me at the moment. I think i may have become slightly insane. o.O

Hmph. Boyf's gone out tonight to some party in my suburb. I don't really care what he gets up to. It annoys me that he says he doesn't want to go to a party and says that 'we'll just stay home and chill then' - how obvious can you get? He obviously doesn't want to spend quality time with me - and would rather a party. But then he decides he will finish up with...'oh just come with me can you?' God. I'm not some accessory that he can just 'use' at a party - someone to 'show off'...someone to just be there for him when him and his stupid wang wants me there.

I HATE BOYS. Fark.

Anyway Melissa and her boyf came over tonight - it was a nice surprise, they called in for an hr or so and we chilled out - played the PLAYBOY game on PS2 - which is a crack up. Major. LOL. Uhm, i also hired out the Nina Williams/Tekken Sub-Story/Spin-Off/bla blady bla game - died in the first level. Haven't touched it since early this evening. Nice little intro movie - but it's a stupid game. Maybe i'm not giving it enough of a chance? Nah. The controls are just bizzare. Completely the opposite to what would be expected of a chick coming from a fighting game. You are to use the ANALOG joysticks to kick and whatever. I was sick of that. Utter bullpoo.

Oh also today the boyf and i went to Point Addis...just past Bells Beach - was quite nice. He tried making up to me since i was in a huge crap with him and his 'i'm-so-damn-cool' attitude.

Yay. Carlton lost too. By 19 points. OH and i have tons of homework to do in the next two weeks - well i should catch up now during the long weekend before i'm really over my head in work - BUT i can't be bothered. OH...and the boyf wants me to stay tomorrow night - when it suits HIM.

PFT. He never loves 'quality time' with me. I may sound utterly selfish - look, he can go out to a stupid party or whatever - but considering he agreed to have a quiet weekend with me...at least 2 weeks ago...then yeah i have a valid reason to be pissed off. But he says that he knew about the party 3 weeks prior. But he never told me - THUS i assumed this weekend was OURS. Obviously wrong. See? I'm a girl that likes attention. I liked to be loved and cared for - why else would i be in a freaking relationship? Pft. So i sound like a bitch at the moment. If only you were in my shoes though...if only.

He can fucking get screwed right now - seriously, i've had enough at the moment.

OMFG. I fucking hate him right now. Well - i love him but i fucking hate our situation right now. Seriously, he always goes out to parties - well he's like really popular, so he's always invited to parties. He knew about this party that's tomorrow night, about 2 weeks ago. He never told me. So, i planned on having a quiet one at his house. But oh? I should have known - he popped me with the question...'such and such is having a party...wanna come with me?' and i never usually know who the person is. Usually the kid is younger than me or whatever - so yeah, tomorrow night is some 18th...invite only. He was invited. No +1 or 'friend' or whatever added to the invitation. So yeah - i said, 'just go'. He was like...'nah i don't wanna now, we'll just chill at my house' (which i wanted to do initially.) then i was like...'fucking hate how you always just want to drag me out to parties...' and he goes, 'well what are you going to do?' and i was so fucking pissed off at that point - i'm not one who always goes out - because to be quite frank, i don't see many of my friends anymore and there's hardly any parties i'm invited to - well since high school anyway, and i'm not a popular party freak like him that loves to go out every weekend and drink.

Then so i said, 'i'm not going to a silly little party tomorrow...' and he goes...'well it's not stupid like what you do...' and i was so freaking offended. I burst out crying. I told him to 'get out...NOW.' It was like basically...he was saying that, well, hey, you always stay at home, and well...that's not COOL...unlike mr popular...which is me. So i stormed off into my room - he followed me and i pushed him away crying my eyes out - i told him angrily how offended i was...telling him i'm 'not cool enough for you am i?!' and he was telling me how 'it's not what he meant'. I said to him - 'well if you want to go out - fucking go. Go out for the entire long weekend - i won't see you at all. Go. Just get out.' I was kicking him out anyway because he had to get the car back to his mum in about 30 mins. I didn't kiss him. He asked me to come out to the party again. AGAIN. It made me sick. He thinks that it would 'be good for me to get out and have some fun'. SO BASICALLY...staying inside one weekend evening ...is NOT FUN. Fucking tosser. I was pissed off - i shut the door on him - he stormed off.

See? That's what happens when the popular boy dates the reserved loserish girl.

Just thought i'd post this picture of Melanie & I from the (ok) party last weekend.