- Mental Junkyard… mind the dogs

today and every other day	Oct 29th, 2007 8:06:38 am - Subscribe
Every day I wake up and look for the tell tale signs that this is what I should be doing. Some days you are the source of all hope, and others you are a dream crushing nightmare. I wait and see if your affection will be enough to sustain me... afraid of my own needs and desires. I hold my breath, to see which request will be the next insult, the next unthinkable deed... Every day I hope that suddenly you will understand and appreciate me, my language, everything on a deeper level... every day you don't... Every day I stay. Because I won't be that person for no good reason. Because I won't make your life hell for nothing. Because I'm not sure, and for now this will do, because I won't give you up and wake up the next day feeling like the whole thing was a mistake. I think I hate my life... and I don't think that leaving you will make it any better. So maybe you're not so bad. Every once in a while, you plant a kiss on my neck and it feels like heaven for a moment. I never expect it, its just given, and I remember. Every once in a while... Can I live on these whiles? Why can't I stop thinking about this and live in the moment... Fuck this all
mood: dry	(0) comments