today and every other day
Date: Oct 29th, 2007 8:06:38 am - Subscribe
Mood: dry
Every day I wake up and look for the tell tale signs that this is what I should be doing.
Some days you are the source of all hope, and others you are a dream crushing nightmare.
I wait and see if your affection will be enough to sustain me... afraid of my own needs and desires.
I hold my breath, to see which request will be the next insult, the next unthinkable deed...
Every day I hope that suddenly you will understand and appreciate me, my language, everything on a deeper level... every day you don't...
Every day I stay. Because I won't be that person for no good reason. Because I won't make your life hell for nothing. Because I'm not sure, and for now this will do, because I won't give you up and wake up the next day feeling like the whole thing was a mistake.
I think I hate my life... and I don't think that leaving you will make it any better. So maybe you're not so bad.
Every once in a while, you plant a kiss on my neck and it feels like heaven for a moment. I never expect it, its just given, and I remember.
Every once in a while...
Can I live on these whiles? Why can't I stop thinking about this and live in the moment...
Fuck this all
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