another
Date: Jul 16th, 2008 1:36:50 pm - Subscribe
Mood: complete
Quote: if you want to be happy, be
blog for today
today has been my day of contemplation and realization
so ive been thinking about a lot of things these past few days. and although there hasnt been much time to think lately due to swim team/lessons and work and rehersals 6 nights a week, i have still been thinking none the less. i do not expect anyone to fully read through all of this due to its length, however if you do i thank you for taking a moment out of your busy life to care. writing. i feel like i havent written a poem in ages. which isnt good because i love it. i feel like i have perminant writters block, and though there have been a few major emotional events occuring in my life the past 3 days i havent been able to write a thing. perhaps if i continue to write about nothing ill be able to come up with my true feelings. lately i havent been giving in to how i truely feel about some things. i havent been taking enough time to recognize what is going on around me. people are constantly changing and i havent taken the time to even notice or care. suddenly i find i am losing myself. i used to be more grounded and aware. but now its as if i have drifted away. i dont care about things i should care about. i find myself seeking attention. i am constantly lying to my parents. ive become extremely unorganized. i hate things i used to love. and now it all comes down to him. for all the things above i do not blame him. i love him so much. and he has rejected my feelings though he feels the same way about me. i cant help thinking, what if i had acted sooner? would things be different now? but in my heart i know they wouldnt have been different. he is still the same person with the same goals and dreams. not willing to let anything get in the way. soon we will be miles apart, and all of this will be forgotten. change in constantly happening around us. stop for a moment to notice this change as i have not. you only have one chance to live your life. its not like a game when your little and you mess up so you get a do-over. its not like an essay where you can white out the things you have said. everything you say is like ink and ink can not be erased. choose your words carefully. love others who live in the shadows. love your family. love yourself. love friends. love strangers. love the people who have loved and lost. love those who are victims. love the people you wish you had in your life. love those who care, not only about you but others. strive to be the best you can be. do not dwell on your past but learn from it. learn about everything you possibly can. learn how to save the environment for we only have one. learn how to help others. learn how to help yourself. learn about philosophy, but do not spend hours contemplating the meaning of somthing. spend hours with those you love. you never know when you might lose them....
with miles between us
how could love have seen us
and given us this chance?
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