What I Know
Date: Jul 27th, 2006 4:07:28 pm - Subscribe
Mood: tired but pleased with chapter 12
Music I am Listening to: 96.1 because they play good stuff in the morning
Today is Thursday, July the 27th. Not a big milestone, but a time for me to make some changes. 
Lately I've been writing a book titled "I Was". I enjoy writing it a lot, but actually sitting down with half a chapter and being expected (by myself) to finish it is quite a drag. I'll get the hang of it eventually (I'd better, I have about 5 chapters left to pull through). I just want this all to be worth it in the end. 
I want to be able to look in the bookstore and see my book on the shelf, just one copy- the rest have sold out. I want people to know me as a writer. But how can I have fame or fortune when I don't put my heart into it?
Even my music is changing abruptly over the past few days. When I am trying to write an emotional or sad part, I listen to Duke Ellington to calm me down. When I'm writing a fun, slightly racy part involving the boy and girl, I listen to 96.1, which likes to play "Buttons" and "Promiscuous Girl" very often. Otherwise, the Beatles suit me best.
Enough about me, what's been happening in your lives? What are your experiences with writing? 
Comments: (2)
Leaving...
Date: Jan 21st, 2006 3:41:39 am - Subscribe
Mood: unique
Sorry, my good people of Nubia! (I mean, Aeonity). But I will have a xanga: www.xanga.com/at_home_for_war
and a myspace: www.myspace.com/elmosworld_63
See ya there!
Comments: (1)
Help me, dear souls...
Date: Dec 27th, 2005 9:19:53 pm - Subscribe
Mood: flummoxed
Music I am Listening to: Radio
I'm so confused, and even more distraught than ever. I'll begin with 2 Fridays ago.
I believe it was the 16th that I got in a car accident. I was scared, and at first it was like hell on Earth. The entirity of it did not hit me until a little later, when I saw what actually happened to the car. I was so freaked because I saw the smashed front end and thought, wow, I could have been hurt...I could have died...someone could have been killed today...
and would it have mattered? To anyone, at all? Sure, my parents would cry a bit and my sisters would mourn, but I'm the slightly suicidal one, not them. Derek would go on not caring, as always, and eventually life would return to normal. No one would care.
At dinner that night, my mom told us about how she quit her job that day. She was able to rush to the scene of the crash very quickly, and I had wondered why. Things would change forever because of this. Actually, long term changes began the moment I felt the jerk of the Volvo hitting the silver car by the stoplight. I can pinpoint the feeling, and oh god it's scary.
That Wednesday, I got my braces off. It felt so weird, but I was so relieved. Finally, after 2 and a half years or so, I got the darned metal mouth off. I have retainers now, but they're clear, and you can't really tell. They're annoying, but I'll wear them if it means I never have to see a bracket in my mouth again.
The next day, we drove 8 hours, from B-Town (hehe, not really), Colorado to Powell, Wyoming. How boring the sounds and landscapes that Wyoming may concieve, I found solace in sleep. When we finally arrived at my aunt and uncle's house, we were immediately jumped on by Rosco, their Jack Russel Terrier. He slept with me that night, as I watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail with my cousin. He fell asleep about half-way through, and I had to wake him up at the end. That Friday, the one week anniversary of the accident, we drove the extra hour to Red Lodge, Montana, to our condo where we'd be spending the next few days.
On Christmas Eve, I went shopping downtown with the family in the morning and smashed myself up snowboarding in the afternoon. Faceplant, falls, closed lifts. Then we went to dinner (oh my goodness, don't eat the rabbit) then opened presents back at the condo. I finally got Converse shoes- yay. My uncle was snapping pictures by the minute, and I was in about 7 of them trying to get the danged shoes on.
Christmas morning was fairly unstressful, as we only ate breakfast and opened stockings. My cousin, aunt, uncle, little sister, grandma, and other aunt stayed back from skiing for the day (11 of us in all, 4 went up to the slopes). My cousin went to hike a mountain (well, hill). I wrote a little, went for walks, ate clam chowder...yeah.
That Monday we drove back, all 9 hours of the way. I called Derek later that day, and the call was filled with lots of awkward silences. I thought I had a lot to say, but I couldn't think of what it exactly all was. I hope things get better. But I'm only dreaming.
And today is Tuesday. I've been just chilling all day, trying to get things done that I haven't had the chance to. Oh, help me, dear souls...my life is turmultuous and is only going down hill.
Comments: (0)