Archives: July 2008, September 2008
My Blogs


waggy121 Babbling - Subscribe
This is just going to be be babbling for a little, so if you dont like mindless ranting, then you should probably stop reading right about.....
here.

So i have been thinking alot lately about things I thought I had figured out. Well, I would like to start with the fact that my personality and the person I am is not one of these things. I have me pretty much done. I know exactly who I am and have become the person I want to be. This is the reason for the recent tattooing. I really want to remember the time in my life where I figured out what I want out of life.
Ok, back to the thinking alot. Well the thing that had me stumped was why I didnt believe much in God. I have had my fair share in bad things that have happened to me and my family, and I really didnt think that a loving and just God would let things like that happen. I had the impression that there was a God, but he really had nothing to do with what went on in our lives. But I am starting to realize that all these things have made me the strong person I am today. Every event in my life that knocked me down made me stronger and I am really starting to see that maybe someone has a plan for me. There are people who have way worse problems than I do, and even they believe in God. Everything happens for a reason, and God has a plan for all of us. I am proud to say that I do believe in God. I believe in parts of the bible. I can't really say that I believe, everything was written down and nothing was exaggerated. But I am happy with where I am at. I am going to start going to church. Not to better myself, but mainly to focus on strengthening the connection I have with God.

I am extremely relieved to have gotten that out.

<33
0 Comments
Mood: enlightened

waggy121 Cherry Blossom Jul 18th, 2008 11:04:08 pm - Subscribe
I am ready.
I can't really say what for, because I honestly have no idea.
Things are really changing. Things are always changing. I am proud to say I've learned that. And recent changes in my life are really pushing me to be a better person.
I have really lessened the drama in my life, and even when school starts, I plan to keep it that way.
This change is really pushing me to realize what I have.
I am pretty much smiling constantly. Laughing, crying, I always hated people who bottled up their emotions. Little did I know, I was one of them.
It's really tough to live with; hate. I am quitting that. Completely.
I want to feel everything but that.
I want to feel it all.
Floating, is a way to describe it. I want to feel the breeze and move fast enough. But not too fast. I wouldn't want to miss a sight that I have never seen. Life is so beautiful. Life is adventure. I can't miss out on that.
Cherry blossoms bloom, and only stay that way for about 2 or 3 days. Imagine that. But I have never seen a more beautiful flower. They truly make use of their time. Seize the day. That's the idea...in the tattoo...
I really do love it. The pain was worth it.
It is beautiful and constantly reminds me of this change.
So, I am ready.
I still dont know for what,
but I am.
This summer is what brought it.
Summer is ...




Carpe Diem.
<3



If you read that, then wow. Reading over it, I really jumped around. That was an interesting rant. A different way to write. I cant delete it. I loved writing it too much.
1 Comments
Mood: serene

waggy121 jodi Jul 20th, 2008 10:18:39 pm - Subscribe
family is essential. A lot of people think that I must have a seriously dysfunctional family based on my living situation. Really though, my family and I are incredibly close. I slept over at my moms last night and I truly realized how amazing and supportive she is.
We have our fights, trust me. But in the end, I am closer with her now, than most girls are with their moms ever. Our relationship is probably something you dont see very often. She knows everything that goes on in my life and gives me advice and love that keeps me going. She pushes me in directions that I know I should be going, even if I dont follow them sometimes. Not living with my mom has actually strengthened and already strong relationship. When she asks me the age old "How was school?" I can't wait to tell her, because I actually have a lot to say. I love having a mom that cares about me enough to not criticize the things I do, and the things I do wrong. There are plenty of parents that I know dont really trust her to make good decisions with me, based on the fact that we dont live together. I would just like to say, that her parenting exceeds any other mothers. She is letting me live with my sister, so I can stay at the school and city I want to be in. She lets me make my own mistakes instead of never letting me spread my wings. She lets me fall, but always lets me know she'll be there to catch me. She is a definate hero of mine.
That's really what a family should be.

ALL of my family is amazing. This includes Andy, my Dad, jade, and dylan. But mainly I just wanted to focus on my mom. Because I know that I used to really take her for granted.

She is the strongest woman I know.
1 Comments
Mood: smiley

waggy121 Work of Art Jul 22nd, 2008 1:01:55 pm - Subscribe
i am seriously considering whether or not a could create a masterpiece. I am not sure of the way in which this masterpiece would be created, but i am considering doing it. I just have this undeniable urge to create. I am horrible at art. My mom told me I should be a photographer. I explained that I would never want to be the person to capture the moment. I want to be the person in it. Photographers constantly miss out on the things they are snapping away at. The picture doesnt do it. To feel it, you cant just be watching through a lense. That's why i really wouldn't be good a such a thing.
Every time I go outside, I see something beautiful. Something that I have to stop and stare at. A tree, the moon, a flower. I want to mimic all of these things. If I cannot create something beautiful, I want to be it. I think thats the route I am going to take. To be my own work of art. Not necessarily by getting tattooed (although that is something I will eventually do more of) or wearing horrendous amounts of make-up and expensive clothes, but by becoming something new to the world. Something it has never seen. I am constantly having random and impossible thoughts and dreams. I want to chase them, no, not chase. Follow. I hate running. wink.gif I truly just want to create something incredible.
I just figured out that it could be me.
2 Comments
Mood: Full of ideas

waggy121 Off. Jul 29th, 2008 10:37:58 am - Subscribe
School is starting soon, and I have to say, I don't have the horrible feeling a would normally have. Naturally, I don't want to re enter the place that torments me with constant busy-work, never-ending rules, and non stop drama, but for some reason, I am not dreading it.

For one, the drama scene, isn't really for me anymore. I know it's really cliche and all but I really feel like a bigger person this year. I am not going to take part in the tempting but horribly humiliating "Wilson Drama"
I am telling you, if you don't go to Wilson, you don't know what drama really is.

This year, hopefully I am going to focus on my school work. I have really been thinking about what I want to do with my life lately, and I have no idea. That makes it more neccessary for me to work hard at EVERYTHING. I think I want to write. But not for something superficial like VOGUE or SEVENTEEN, although i do love the magazines. I also, would hate writing in a newspaper column, although that's probably where I would have to start out. I want to write to inspire. I want to change things. I want to change people. I want my writings about my thoughts and daily struggles to really give someone that push they really need to either change themselves or change the world.
I can't really figure out where I would go with this though. Writing a book is really overrated and it takes too long. Plus, what would I call it?? I dont think I could come up with a name that really says what its all about. And when I would come up with that name, it wouldnt catch anyones attention.

Thats what I hate about titles. I really dont think books should have titles. Because honestly, the best titles are on those stupid romance novels at the grocery store. Do you know what I am talking about?? The ones at the ends of the aisle or in the 1 dollar box. The ones where just looking at the cover makes you feel trashy? I hate those. But without knowing what it was about, would you pick between "Catcher in the Rye" or "Midnight Secrets by the Lake" haha. Well Catcher in the Rye sounds really lame to me. I guess the other title does too, but I think you get it. I know I do.

The point is, books shouldnt have titles.
Wow, I am really off topic. So, my book wouldnt have a title. People would pick it up then. Maybe I will write a book then. A title less novel. Probably not.
Wow, I am still really far off topic.

So lets end it with....

umm...
I am not dreading the fact that school is starting because I am truly excited about the rest of my life.

[=
3 Comments
Mood: thoughtful