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My ex-girlfriend and I went to the movies last night... Why did she have to hold my hand? Why did she have to look so beautiful? I wish I could see into her mind... just to know what she's thinking... But the impossibilities are endless. I could do so many irrational things and yet... What would they prove? What a way to start off the first entry in a new blog eh? Well... I figured, where better to put the whole of my sorrows than emoblog.com... Maybe this place wasn't ment to have actual emotion... but I could care less. My heart aches. My mind wonders. I'm exhausted... I'll be in the kitchen with a donut... |
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Mood: emotional Things that go:: Show me the tears, and I'll bring on the pitty. One glass or two? |
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I've spent the last few days wondering about what's going to happen... Not short tern-wise. But in the long run. College, my first place to live, on my own, being the only person I have to rely on... Looking at it all now... I'm excited. So many new things to discover by myself. But while I was thinking about them earlier... I was scared. Very scared. Growing up seems like such a big leap when you're little, and really it is. But it's a lot harder than I once thought. Last year I thought I had forever until it was time to be on my own. But Now, I can practically count the days. Next year I'll be a senior... Next year I'll be decided on my future... I hope. And I'll have a plan for whatever it is I decide to do for the rest of my life. Yesterday I was worried about why I wasn't as pretty as the next girl, or why the one person in my life that means the most, doesn't care... And today, I woke up with a whole new outlook on everything. First of all, that very special person... Does like me. I'm just being paranoid. Second, the future that once seemed so big and scary... is here everyday. I just need to realize who I am before figuring out who I want to be... I'm soo.... Dumb when I write... Just stop reading this k? |
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Mood: alright Things that go:: You asked what was wrong. I smiled and said \'nothing.\' Then I turned around and whispered \'everything.\' |
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So, I'm over her... That's what I like to tell myself anyway.... This Friday should be fun. I'm going to a city-wide GSA meeting. Fun stuff eh? ... She's going... Who cares? Not me.... I'll return to my depressing emo music and heart-felt poetry thanks.... I've got a support group thing going anyway... Me, Jon, and T.J..... We've all stopped giving a damn. I'll let you know how that works out. |
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Mood: indescribable Things that go:: Take my hand, then take my heart... carefull now, as my dreams just fall apart.... |