writergrl7's Blog

"Why does it always seem to rain on me?"
Date: Apr 25th, 2004 6:46:44 pm - Subscribe
Mood: tired
Currently Listening To:: "So Far Away" By: Staind

I can handle being lonely in the daytime. I have things to do. Stuff to clean, homework to complete, TV to watch. It's at night when the loneliness really kicks in. Lying in bed by yourself. Everything's dark and quiet and you feel empty and blank. You try and fill your mind with thoughts of the next day or with memories of happier times. It doesn't usually work though. You always go back to having nothing to think about. I'm not even sure why I bother waking up in the morning. Not like anyone would miss me. I'm sure they'd pretend to be worried or ask a couple people where I was, but no one would really make an effort to make sure I was alright. But why would they? I've always been alright before. Every day I'm alright. I'm Miss Perfect Student - the girl who always studies. I'm always smiling. The mask I place on my face in the morning hides well the pain and loneliness I feel inside. No one knows how I feel. No one would ever guess I'm not completely content with my life. It's exhausting hiding it all the time. Smiling and eating and laughing - I'm really tired of it. But what would happen if I stopped pretending? Would I still have friends? Yes, I would. But they would be different around me if they knew about my unhappiness. My depression. They'd look at me with pity. I couldn't handle that. Having them worry about me - pity me. It's easier to just pretend.
Comments: (0)

Image Verification:

Anonymous guest, why not register, or login now.