Archives: February 2005, March 2005, April 2005, May 2005
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x3____t0rn yay for emoblog!! - Subscribe
yipee i started emoblog!!!! haha i started it because i can get into this at school yay. none of my friends know about this so sorry if i get really personal about things. i'll make sure to keep things hidden somehow.
oh and just for all reading...i am very random...and i would be writing this in IIT [typing class] where i am extremely my entries can be about my in 6th period....poems...anything.
so yeah....
oh and sorry if this layout is poo...imma newbie at EmoBlog.

Mood: secretive
currently: chatting with mel; listening to 1 year 6 months by the one and only YELLOWCARD

x3____t0rn Singles Awareness Day Feb 14th, 2005 6:49:18 pm - Subscribe
happy valentine's day. pshh i really don't like valentine's day. it's just like shows how lonely i am because i don't have that special someone.
or well i do....but i'm probably not as special to him. he has that positive feeling whenever i'm around him. he can always make me smile. i just wish things were as simple as how nice they feel.
i've come to realize that i'm getting over rise/fall boy. i don't really like him anymore. but see i feel like i'm obligated to because all of my friends are like 'go for him' and stuff. although some of my friends tell me to go for x-boy....and like soph notices that i'm happier with x-boy.....and i really really like him. but i feel really bad that i let rise/fall boy like me .....only for me to end up liking someone else. i'm not sure how to tell him that either. he's a really good friend and i wouldn't want to break his heart.
i really want to give x-boy something for v-day but i duno what it would stir up.
gahh but i'm going crazy over him......i really really like him.

guess what?! IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE! wow didn't expect that at all. i gave up on snow. haha snow in february....kinda late. at least something good is going on on valentine's day.

i hope the rest of the day gets better.

man is I.I.T. boring. haha. yay i can get onto EmoBlog at school. this is way rad.
Mood: lovesick and lonely
currently: bored in I.I.T.

x3____t0rn head over heels....again. Feb 15th, 2005 6:56:51 pm - Subscribe
today's been a good day so far.
in d0rkestra i was able to play the Sonata better than i have been. now we all just need to play it right.
in bio i amazingly got full points on my lab journal even though i didn't finish some conclusions and analysis ?s, etc. I HAVE AN A+ IN BIO!!! wow i haven't had an A+ in any of my classes for a really long time.

mann i hurt my hip playing tennis yesterday. then i danced on it in hula....
sleeping let it rest and get better but it still hurts. i hope it won't effect the talent show. WHICH IS TOMORROW AHHHHHH!!!

oh yes today is also MS CODA and JUSTIN's birthday!!! justin is so coooool. aww he's coming to the talent show just to support me!!!! he's sooooo awesome!!!!! i hope he has a fantastic birthday!

hmm. i feel bad. i just walked past x-boy and he looked kind of mad or sad or something. maybe just tired. wow i'm so weird to worry like that.
awww mel told me he felt bad that he didn't give me a hug yesterday and was regretting that he didn't. aww
gahh i so like him.
soph says 'u like him right? so wats the big deal. you should be picky for once. choose who you want + who you'll be happy with'.
i love soph....and if she's giving me the okay...then i'm listening to her.

dude my horoscope for today is freakishly related to right now [always's scary...i should stop reading these]:
'you can wreck havoc and create some friction just now in the realm of romance, all you have to do is by yourself. watch out, though, for whom you might inadvetently antagonize on the way.'

okay i should go before i get caught.
Mood: jittery
currently: wanting to have 1st lunch really badly coughcough

x3____t0rn stressed out Feb 16th, 2005 6:58:53 pm - Subscribe
gah so much stuff to do today.
had to find kerri to tell her i couldn't go to the gymnastics meeting afterschool so i could rest up for the talent show.
which is tonight!!!!!!!!!! ahhh i hope the CD doesn't skip like it did yesterday.
yeah then i had a ASB senate meeting. had to dress up for IIT. and sell baked goods for MSA at lunch. gahhh

oh well yesterday was dress rehearsal for Talent Show. was good fun. although we like sat in the hallway for like 2 hours just to go out there and bow and say 'let's go save the world!' yeah. but it was fun chillin with the other talented homies. it's always nice to hang out with the hot guitarists haha. acoustic guitar is so hot. i wish i could play. haha jennel is so cool. she went through magazines criticizing fads and such. she's such a character. not to mention an extremely good singer!
the talent show WILL be off the hizzle tonight. it'll be so rad. i wish i could watch it. i wonder if after intermission i could go in to watch and then just exit before we have to bow. because i really wanna see the other acts. ahhh i'm so excited! altho i'm scared about the CD skipping and about fainting from being tired. gahhh. too much stress. although i will have a great time....or i'll keep telling myself that.

but i was extremely stressed last night. i couldn't handle it so i went in my room and cried. i haven't had a good cry in awhile. it was good though because it let out my stress. then i listened to music and ate dark chocolate kisses....which also helps destress me.
music. chocolate. crying. some of the things that can always help me no matter what.

there is only one other thing that can help. and even if he doesn't feel the same way back to me. just him being around me makes me feel better. he always brightens the setting....changes a cloudy day to a clear one.....he's the colored image in my black-and-white picture. as mel says....he's very optimistic...and he is...well most of the time. and optimism [if that's a word] is something that i need. he gives off so much positive energy....even if he didn't like me back i wouldn't care. just being his friend and being able to talk to him satisfies me.
the only thing i want from him is a hug. heh

until tomorrow
Mood: stressed; excited; heartsick
currently: tired as hell

x3____t0rn talent show was off the hizzle Feb 17th, 2005 6:01:34 pm - Subscribe
read my xanga for what i had to say about the talent show...

but yay we exceeded our goal for ellensburg money!!! so we can all go to ellensburg for free!!! and have money left over!!!! that's so rad.

hmmm....gunna go tennis later. with him. ^_^ aw he's so nice he invites me to go play with him.....and he also asked if i could play with him during break. ^_^ but booo today i hafta go to the tennis courts late because i gotta go help gymnastics put equipment away....ah well.

well until tomorrow...

p.s. i wonder if i should go to spring/junior prom or spring tolo.....and i wonder if i should ask him. i need to talk to soph and peoples
Mood: agitated
currently: doing stuff in IIT