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xbang_bang Really not worth all this trouble. - Subscribe
I called my boss to ask why I was fired and he told me it was because I never came into work.
Fair enough but, the reason I never came into work was because he never put me on the schedual.
Not really my fault when I would call in every week to get hours.
Well I said that to him and I am employed agian with more hours and I start Wednesday.
Now I kinda wish I went quietly.

Words of wisdom // My Boss is an idiot.
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Mood: ok

xbang_bang Definatly one of my bests. Apr 3rd, 2006 3:58:44 pm - Subscribe
Tonight, I'll climb out a window and into your car. Lock the doors, hit the gas, and don't stop till the sun comes up. Tonight, take me for all I'm worth. Go ahead, it isn't much anymore. And you've already overestimated my value by far, making me woner what you know.

I've placed in you a wound so deep you cannot feel it, for it does not breach the surface. I feed it with alter egos and lies and my over-historic mindset. A heart is uselss beyond distributing blood, keeping you alive. Sometimes I don't buy it. I can't always believe you. Because it breaks me to feel alright when you hold me. I sometimes feel your heart race, though I don't think I would ever tell you. I'm more than done with being shot down by a boy for feeling okay, for being alright. And I'd rather you didn't try to keep me from the acceleration, but I know it strikes a nerve in you, and you never let it get far.

Sometimes you pull up the things that took all I had to drown out, and you give them breathe, and new life. And it puts me to faking a smile for the way you feel when you see my eyes get sad. They forever ask you if you'd like a glass of water, And now if I were to have here every amount I ever turned down, I could drown out the world and your voice. Even the trains and the boys racing down on the boulevard in the middle of the night.

I am not one with the Bucchantes, as much as I might have felt so in the past. I am often too far from my own twice- born Dionysos, who has not always been wholly there as of now. But Artemis came and set me free from everything I held myself too.



I've stayed up all night coming up with a strategy for giving my message. But now I've found myself with an ending written into Canada, and I start the getaway over. We'll reroute, I'll drop all associates and go it alone. I always figured on it. Just not quite like this. The initial decision came at the age of fourteen.

The maps were drawn years ago. And I feel that if I go through with this, and run, I will never get to our own northern border. I can't do this and make it. But they will never forget the ones they left behind on the day I tear them down. I'm not crazy. I'm not sick. But when beautiful girls are gone, their hearts will be found. And when without a word I take them away, the aimed muzzle will say everything.

Don't be scared, Don't be afraid. I'm just a girl with a couple of rounds, a smpathetic expression I swear is not fake.

I can take away loneliness from a girl and give it all away. You will never know what it's like. So keep pretending that you'd give anything to be her. Those eyes are deep as hell for a reason. I know she's back there somewhere.

I hold up the gun, she is all alone with me, caught in the hall and nowhere to run. Staring through glazed teary eyes, maybe not really surprised but in shock all the same. A .22 will rattle your brain to ruin, don't you fret. But lost in her eyes I cannot pressure the trigger. And her questions are pathetic and cliche, her begging motivated. Bloodshot eyes empty as far as hate is concerned, but full of fear.

And I realize I can't do a thing.

Please help me, I don't want to end this starting with ending your life and my life and lives of beautiful girls in numbers. Come with me, I'll take you anywhere you want to go. Her reply has hesitation, unsure if her life depended on her weighted answer.

I showed my girl the world today. And she took a bullet.
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Mood: captivated

xbang_bang I feel ;; Apr 5th, 2006 9:19:25 pm - Subscribe
*((%^&TIEJhguin4i8ewg56f392
Like that. ]=

happy.gif <-- that makes me a little happy though because blinks. Little things make me happy now, I guess it's because I am pathetically looking for happiness anywhere just so I don't feel like everything is falling apart.
But every so often when I am not engulfing myself in non-existant vernacular happiness I remember "Oh yeah that's right you suck".
Maybe I should elaborate a little. I am still with Jeff love him to pieces. But Bryan came back into my life wearing his slightly tarnished silver armor.
Of corse I should have seen this coming. HE ALWAYS COMES BACK! I'll admit it I still have feelings for him. But not like I used to. Now it's like I remember how easy everything was when it was just him and I. That was two summers ago.
I tried so hard to push him out of my life. Everything that reminded me of him was gone.
I replaced it with a brand new series of events that would take place and push him out. It nearly worked. But it didn't. I love Jeff it's so easy to love him.
But now I wonder if I love him for the wrong reasons. I wonder f I think I love him. But he could be just a pawn and a subsitution. I hope not.



- Dupie the Queen of the Masquerade
3 Comments
Mood: indescribable

xbang_bang This dream prolly won't happen. Apr 6th, 2006 11:46:49 pm - Subscribe
Jeffer629: i just want to jump in the boat with him
xx DUPIE: Me too.
xx DUPIE: I want to jump in a aboat with you and sail away.
xx DUPIE: [=
Jeffer629: I do to, i want to sail away to an island all to ourselves
Jeffer629: and live there rich
xx DUPIE: Yeahhhh

It would be nice if things like that could happen.
1 Comments
Mood: upside-down

xbang_bang Broke 9 today [= Apr 11th, 2006 10:48:20 pm - Subscribe
I broke 9 minutes doing a 2k.

Well after that I was lying on my back doing my situps. While doing that I was looking at the birds just flying in the air. No not flying soaring, they were soaring.

Today was one of those very few "Perfect" New England days everyone knows but those of us that live here cherish the most.

It was perfect the sun shining watching the birds and the clouds and then...


A bird pooped on me.

-- Dupie
3 Comments
Mood: motivated

xbang_bang Combinations. Apr 17th, 2006 1:21:41 pm - Subscribe
I felt like writing the other night and I could think of something but then I got writer's block, so I came up with the idea to combine some of my old stuff with current ideas and make something new.

This is what the result was::

A facade of grac and bauty that held up like the Berlin Wall.
My steps fell into shadow , they flowed through the labyrinth he made for me.
Hate has been wearing it's love mask for years.
With it's silvery snake diamond eyes and candy red cheek bones.
He would kiss my lips and cipple my smile, I would look him in the eyes.
Oh, the eyes on that man it would be an insult to call them "Simply Blue".
Those eyes were so beautiful and alluring to the outsider.
Those eyes masked the difference between love and hate.
Those eyese were the convincer that love was never ending.
Those eyes were the cause of moments that would wreck me.
But really who was I to say, to <>scream stay.




Four guesses for who that was about.
3 Comments
Mood: freezing

xbang_bang GAHHH!!!! DEATH! Apr 22nd, 2006 2:10:26 pm - Subscribe
I have poison oak.
Well this sure sucks.


--Dupie.
3 Comments
Mood: pained

xbang_bang Oh my Buddah! Apr 26th, 2006 12:41:27 am - Subscribe
Basically the AIDS infesting my legs isn't really getting any better.
It's spreading&is wicked itchy to the maxx.

Yeah it sucks.

Death.

Love,
Ever so itchy Dupie.

PS:: AIDS = Poison Oak [=
2 Comments
Mood: ugly