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My Blogs


xbang_bang My confusion. - Subscribe
For me the grass is always greener on the otherside. But when I get it, I decide that I don't want the greener grass I want my treded on, not so green grass back... that way I can lay in my comfort zone under the tree and just watch the days, months and years go by like I have for the past three years.

I am a curious person by nature, I always want to know what the other guy is like.

I want to try everything for myself. Taking someones word for it just isn't the same thing.

I just get so confused sometimes, going from one place to the other trying out different things. Letting life take me in, just to want to get out. I don't have much to offer him anymore except myself and my confusion.
1 Comments
Mood: dull

xbang_bang Selfish. Feb 9th, 2008 12:04:27 am - Subscribe
Well I am a selfish person and that is no secret.

I wish I could make up my mind sometimes. I think that is my problem... I am so selfish because I never know what I want.

I hate hurting people.
2 Comments
Mood: pouty
On the speakers:: The Academy Is...

xbang_bang February 14th. Feb 15th, 2008 4:32:50 am - Subscribe
Happy Valentines Day.

Even if you don't have a lover spend it doing something you love.
0 Comments
Mood: humbled

xbang_bang On leaving. Feb 15th, 2008 6:54:57 pm - Subscribe
This is to the rush, the feelings like I am going with hurricane force winds but they are warm and welcoming and I just float along with them up the coast into your arms.

Take me in your whirlwind and make it impossible to leave. Let your waves crash down on me, drown me, crush me, let me come up for air, and twirl me around.

Mix me up, turn me inside out. Love me, take care of me. Hold me, support me. Don't leave... not yet.
0 Comments
Mood: concerned
On the speakers:: Snow Patrol

xbang_bang When is it too much Feb 18th, 2008 4:03:57 pm - Subscribe
How do you know when it is all too much?
Is it when you reach the point and you don't think you can go on anymore, when you're crying and crawling to what you want most in life, or is it when you simply can't go anymore.

When you are half dead laying face down, hands are scarred and bleeding, just simply tired and now knowing that you can't do what you set out to. Knowing that you aren't good enough, or strong enough to attain what you want.

I feel like my body is falling apart now, I am cold, and weak, always tired and just ready to give up, my mind left a long time ago. I don't know what I want anymore and my heart is beating not sure what it wants anymore. I don't think it wants anything. I feel like it is impossible for me to be completly happy.
0 Comments
Mood: deprived