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My Blogs


xbang_bang Here I go. JUMP! - Subscribe
GIVE ME A MOUNTIAN!
I''m ready to scream it from the very bottom most fibers of my body.
I am no longer afriad to be happy or in love agian.
Life is good. Poison oak isn't. But that's gone too.

- Dupie the happiest girl in the world.
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Mood: empowered

xbang_bang Today was a day just like any other... May 9th, 2006 5:59:29 pm - Subscribe
... Today was different. Days have sort of been running into each other agian. It's only tuesday I tell myself over and over.
This week has been going by so slow. And it just began. It is on of those weeks where life is never ending, one of those weeks where you have so much to do but enough spare time to think things up you would not have thought up on any other week.

There was a dead body found in the merriack yesturday, that's the river I have practice in everyday. I row if you didn't know.

Which brings me to the part where I tie this in. I was thinking today in class when I chose not to do my work about what if that was me what if I just died. There are so many things I have yet to do.

And is there even a heaven?! I would hope so, what happens to my soul after I die? Does it die too? And did I let the dog out?

That is how my life has been latly, fragmented pieces of a puzzle that don't quite fit. I need to start trimming the pieces I guess.

Don't be too timid and squimish.
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Mood: philosophical

xbang_bang This one is important May 17th, 2006 5:16:53 pm - Subscribe
365 days was the last time I talked to him, he talked back, it was long distance.

365 days was the last time I heard his voice.

365 days ago I saw him.

Today I talked to him, but he didn't talk back, it was still long distance.

Today I saw him.

I saw him in that picture of us when we were really little and we were sitting in my Barbie car.






Topher Anthony De Avila 07021986-05172005
I love you forever and ever <3
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Mood: miserable

xbang_bang DEATH May 23rd, 2006 8:55:25 am - Subscribe
I hate being a girl.

Having my period sucks.
2 Comments
Mood: overloaded

xbang_bang Life IS beautiful. May 27th, 2006 9:48:11 am - Subscribe
Someone told me once that everyone should take at least one chance in his or her lifetime. I am a seventeen (alright well I will be seventeen in like three weeks) year old girl and the biggest chance I ever took was cheating on my history test which I am pretty sure I would have gotten a good grade on anyways.

Well there is that saying “Life sucks, then you die” I like to think, “Life is beautiful then you die”. Well yesterday I took a chance and made my life beautiful. It was something little but I will always remember it.

Yesterday a beautiful 80 degree day here in New England, more specifically Lowell, MA. I got out of school and everything was all right. I got in my car and I had no where to go really so I called my mom and I told her not to be expecting me till much later I am going to stay at my friend Chelsea’s house. But that’s not what I did. I drove to Rhode Island, more specifically, Bennet st. Woonsocket Rhode Island. Why you may ask why would you drive two and a half hours there with gas prices so high? And I can tell you I have to idea. The only thing that is there for me is Bryan.

I knew once I was sitting out in my car outside his house it was a bad idea. And just as I was about to turn on the engine and drive back to Lowell he came out. I don’t think he saw me at first but I haven’t seen this kid in close to two years, actually it was 1 year and 11 months yesterday since the day we met, I know weird. I get out of the car and he sees me.

We both kind of just stop and look at each other I think we were both thinking the same thing, what the hell am I doing here. But for some reason we both knew it was right. That’s when I started to cry. He stood over me like a hunter over his kill and then that’s when he grabbed and it was friendly. That’s when I knew everything would finally be okay.

He got into my car and he drove me around, I don’t know my way around there. And we talked like we used to. It wasn’t hostile but it was nice, and everything was okay. We are okay. We were walking on the beach and it started to rain. Actually it was pouring and he started to run back to the car and I ran after him and I stopped him.

We didn’t kiss like in the movies (we both have significant others) But I stopped him and told him just let it sink in, it’s beautiful and we sat down in the wet sand and looked out to the ocean.

The rain stopped there was no rainbow it was 11 at night but the moon and the stars came out and it was perfect. And I realized we’re friends and that’s good enough for me, we both went home and we were happy.

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Mood: Happy <3