Dear beautiful boy,
I don't know what you do to me. You make me feel like I am drunk, but not quite sure on what.
This is to the bitterflies and the fireworks. It's to the intensity in your eyes. You're Feirce and beautiful like only lightening during a storm could be.
Let the warmth of your breath fall on the back of my neck, let me wrap in the warmth of your cashmere touch and feel you're body form agianst mine.
You're everything I hate because you are just like me in so many ways. But I love it all the same. It's the way you tease me, and touch me.
It's the way you kiss me and pull me in with those eyes. Eyes that give nothing away but are able to send chills down my spine.
Seeing right through me and reading everything I am. Be as intense as you want but please be nice don't break me down agian.
It's been about two months now and I still don't know the ins or outs of your little mind.
But I am getting better, I know now that you do like me more than you lead on. I know how jealous you get over the littlest things, and you know what it kinda makes me laugh so I try to make you jealous on purpose because then you show me more attention.
I just get so lonely sometimes, I feel unpretty, not good enough. I cry and get mad like everyone. I'm not as perfect as you want me to be.
I am sick of hearing I am not as pretty as other girls. Just stop it please, You make me cry but then I can't help but smile when you come to wipe my tears away.
My head is spinning in such a way that I don't even notice anymore. Words come out all at once, my head feels on the verge of explosion. My heart beats out of my chest, and my hands are shaking uncontrollably.
I don't know what to do, I don't like being crazy. I want to be back to sanity.
Let my feet touch the ground.
I've fallen hard agian.
Maybe harder than you've fallen for me.
"I get too attached, and I don't wanna get attached too fast"
so you left it up to me.
I'm falling and not exactly sure what I am falling into.
I'm vulnerable. I'm weak. I'm an emotional mess. I'm madly in love.
Or am I?
Too fast, too soon. Rushing head first into something neither of us were ready for. Something neither of us expected upon moving in.
When I came to school I didn't think of midnight arguments, wrestling matches with punches thrown, just to end in laughs and kisses.
It hurts to think that you're not over your ex, because I know we have a month long break coming up. That's a month sleeping alone. And I could bearly last a night.
I know Bree is going to make a move. She messages you all the time trying to make you care. She is sneaky, deviant, too young. She is a Junior in highschool and we are in college.
I am quite, reserved, patient, caring, waiting for you to notice that I can be beautiful and that I may be falling in love. Are you ready to catch me?
These are slightly drunken words mixed with almost tears and so many emotions that world didn't even know they were there.
The buzz is starting to ware off now and it's about time it's 430am and we have to get up at 10am.
The slow dances were amazing the words sung from your lips into my ear and unto my neck where your breath laid down their feelings.
Laced with alcohol and what could be almost love. The way your arms wrapped around my thin waist, the way you let me bury my head into your neck and you rested yours on mine,
The songs that didn't last long enough the light from your desk flickering quickly making us feel more drunk than we are but still knowing what we are doing.
Thank you for the moment I've waited for. The moment to prove myself to you. To show you what I could do.
Kiss my neck one more time, get lost in my hair and I'll get lost in your eyes. Pick me up put me on your bed and let me lay my head down on your chest. This was all I needed.
Perfect is how I would describe it untill your AIM window comes up and you see that she has IMed you drunk wanting you, needing you. And now I am sitting alone at the foot of your bed because she is fifteen and drank too much and she says she will hurt herself.
But I am here and you are hurting me. But I am going to accept this because it's what I have to do. Wait for another night as good as this one.
I know it won't come.