Make sure your safty harness is on. This may get rough.

Great escape.	Sep 30th, 2007 6:46:08 am - Subscribe
It's the climb out of bed and out the door to the cold mountain air and to your car. Rushing past the mountains and out of this small valley that holds our hearts, our secrets, and our lives. Leave this place behind and go to a place where nobody knows our names. Nobody knows that just a few weeks ago we both belonged to others. Away from the incriminating eyes, touch my hand and my heart. To Boston Harbor under the lights of buildings that are so tall from the ground they look like they would fall over on you. Dark alleys and bright eyes. Cold air and warm lips. Hold me close because nobody is around. Tell me you care for me and you don't know why. It might be my dark eyes or the way my hair curls, or how my cheeks get rosy when I wake up. Or is it my passion for truth and honesty. My raw emotion to make everything out in your face, everything known. The way my legs wrap yours and your arms wrap my waist. The collision of two people. The eruption of two beating hearts. What happens when two people become one? They fall hard, and they fight it. The tide is low and Boston smells cold. The moon is higher and the stars are brighter and I am deeper than I've ever been before.
mood: vulnerable	(2) comments

	rburton76	September 30th, 2007
	I read your bio so I don't know if you're looking for criticism or not. It's really good, except for the first two sentences in the last paragraph, which seem grandiose, which comes across as obnoxious. I glanced at some of your previous entries. You already seem to know how to put words together. I'm hardly a writing critic, but it seems to me you should be spending your time on learning how to create scenes. You know, more sequential, "this happened then that happened then she said this then he said that" sort of stuff. One other thing, sentence fragments don't have to be used as sparingly in dialog as they do in narrative. You seem a little too fond of them.

	rburton76	October 03rd, 2007
	Reading this inspired me to do a little writing last night. Nothing too long, just a sort of snippet of a scene. It's the first fictional writing I've done in over a year and I'm feeling needy for opinions so, if you wouldn't mind taking five or ten minutes and offering one, it's the "trying to write with a head full of pills (edited)" blog entry of mine, currently the most recent one. No pressure, just if you want to. Be as brutal as you want to.