Make sure your safty harness is on. This may get rough.

I want to forget.	Aug 8th, 2006 3:17:48 pm - Subscribe
I know you never meant to do everything you put me through, it's okay I forgive you. Just know that when you see my cringe sometimes I'm trying to rid the poison from my mind. Okay so I was talking to Bryan on the phone last night for get this... six hours. I hate talking on the phone too. Wierd eh? Well we did alot of talking oh yeah&he did visit me like he was supposed to& he isn't going through with the wedding. Wanna know why? Well I am going to tell you anyways. He never "Fell out of love with me&he doesn't love her like the way he did me". And I feel the same way. I love the kid end of story. Well no it's not the end of the story but I wish I could end it make everthing easy. I can go to Rhode Island for college which is planned, we can get a place together&live out our happy college kid lives full of lust, love, stress, and happiness. But then I guess hates me&has like a death wish for me. Which is completly understandable. I ruined her wedding&took her boy, But he was my boy first, a year before her. But I had the upper hand right? Those are the rules of love. Well love doesn't really have rules. It has two or more people&hearts&gut feelings&lots of hoping&wishing. But thats why it's so special you never know. You never know if that was your last first kiss. Imagine the person you are with right now could be the person you will be with for the rest of your life. It scares me. Alot of things do. I think too much, I trust too much& I love too little. But that's just me. I have only loved one boy with my whole heart more than I could have ever imagined, that was Bryan. And even though he doesn't have my whole heart right now I am willing to give it to him the second he says he is ready to catch me. The second he is willing to give up let go and tell me he wants me more than anything else in the world&that he would do anything for me even if he had move away from his friends. I would trust him&fall back into his arms and I wouldn't fear loving him to my full extent&giving him everything I have to give. I want that. I want him. Or I want someone that doesn't remind me of him at all someone to take me away from all of this and make me move far away so I can forget, so I can live happily ever after& I will give this boy everything I have to give I will love him so much, trust him with every fiber in my body, and will stay and hold his hand for as long as I need to. I want the love like in the movies, I want that happy ending.
mood: fragile	(3) comments

	david	August 08th, 2006
	Wow seems as someone stayed true to there heart, very cool...I have talking on the phone too....15 mins is too long for me.

	lovexhate	August 09th, 2006
	I want that love too, I had it but it had to end. Don't think i'll ever find it again. I feel what your going through. <3 Jess xx