chicka
Date: Nov 14th, 2004 11:47:05 pm - Subscribe
Mood: powerful
alright. i don't ever have a subject to put in the little subject box..sooo..GAH....i have a song for me and my lover. it's called trulymadllydeeply bai savage garden, go and listen to it. it's great. we luff each other. vroooommm.. he ask me to go to prom with him last night "will you go to prom avec moi?" thats how he ask it. and he said cute things. look :"i smile, i love you...i really need to see you...a new beginning reason for living.....i wanna marry you, right this second, spend my entire life with you cuz you ARE PERFECT, but not now, impossible, and time makes things go bad, bad, and no, i dont want it to happen, not at all, i want you right now dont ever leave me alone" see, i AM needed.
Comments: (2)
smile
Date: Nov 11th, 2004 3:08:54 am - Subscribe
Mood: flabbergasted
wow. im really happy. maybe this comes with trying to find some sort of religon. or something to that effect. i wouldn't know. im so glad people love me and they've made up their minds. because i was getting ready to be on the verge of suicide. i really didn't think there was much to live for. i'd saved my siblings and i was done.
but no no no. no . and no. NO. im getting ready to plan out my life with the guy that i've loved for the last year. well, not really a year. but. at least a good seven months. and now the only thing in our way is distance, and im sure we can somehow work around that. and PROM. and COURTWARMING. fifty miles away isn't gonna be easy. especially to convince my parents. somehow though. i'll do it. i pull straight a's . ill be there for him. he'll go to college next year, graduating this year. i'll go to college once he's graduated. gah. life plans already formulating in my head.
but how many years does he wanna go to college? and how many years do i wanna go to college? he said he wanted to miss out on college player crap. so, just how are we gonna do this? im a sophomore, he's a senior. he graduates in 2005, me in 2007. and. and. and. college. and life. and marrige? of course. there WILL be marrige. because...we're us. there has to be marrige.
im setting myself up again but i don't care. at all. because he's him and i've waited forever for this chance, to prove that im more than an ignorant ditzy slut, which is what i acted like the first time i met him. randomly making out in the bathroom. he wasn't being his emotional self then. of course neither was i. just teenage shit. but gah. we can do so much better. we're planning. not rushing. but planning. rushing is bad. rushing kills relationships. and how the hell is it nine o eight? damn. he's not getting online. oh well
i may sound obsessive, but my obsession is shared.
"as much as we scream"i don't need society" here's reality, i need you and you need me"
-amanda
Comments: (0)
feeling this
Date: Nov 7th, 2004 12:22:40 am - Subscribe
Mood: repulsed
i haev finally found myself. My thoughts...as well as energy, I have it all under controll. Well, not really, but I have it all planned out about how I'm going to get it under control.
It willta ke awhile, I assure you. I can't be immature about this.
Comments: (2)
him to her, holly to BC
Date: Nov 6th, 2004 8:36:45 pm - Subscribe
Mood: cavalier
With all of this I know now
Everything inside of my head
It all just goes to show how
Nothing I know changes me at all
Again I wait for this to change instead
To tear the world in two
Another night with her
But I'm always wanting you
Use me Holly come on and use me
We know where we go
Use me Holly come on and use me
We go where we know
With all of this I feel now
Everything inside of my heart
It all just seems to be how
Nothing I feel pulls at me at all
Again I wait for this to pull apart
To break my time in two
Another night with her
But I'm always wanting you
Use me Holly come on and use me
We know where we go
Use me Holly come on and use me
We go where we know
She's all I need
She's all I dream
She's all I'm always wanting
She's all I need
She's all I dream
She's all:
I'm always wanting you
Yeah I'm always wanting you
I'm always wanting you
Comments: (0)
boohbah
Date: Oct 29th, 2004 4:20:05 am - Subscribe
Mood: ignored
This is for me to be alone. Now that I'm finally alone. And I've got ten minutes, and then I can continue laying alone for the rest of eternity. Joy joy.
Not that I want to be alone. Because I'd much rather not be alone. But I'm getting quite bothered. About many things. One of them is being alone. Which is what I like doing, but it's driving me mad.
Confused yet?
I sure hope so.
It all started when the most conceited arse of my entire life left me, but yet, he was perfectly perfect. just...rah. And he was so smart. Of course I didn't find this out until after he left me, and at that point in time, it sure didn't help me much, at least now i can look back and see how much I didn't matter, and see how much I didn't know, and see how much I put into soemthing that was nothing, poured what was left of me into a black hole, and bled my heart into a tube that led straight underground with the promises to put me six feet under at a later date
and he dosen't know that i thought i was serious because at the time i didn't even think i was serious. and now i can sit here and stare at this abnormally large chunk of platinum encrused in diamonds, with an amethyst in the middle, and his name on both sides, it really does sound like some famous people name.
BC Wilson
Brandon Charles Wilson...
no one will ever know how many times I've screamed that name until my throat bled raw..
Comments: (0)