smile
Date: Nov 11th, 2004 3:08:54 am - Subscribe
Mood: flabbergasted
wow. im really happy. maybe this comes with trying to find some sort of religon. or something to that effect. i wouldn't know. im so glad people love me and they've made up their minds. because i was getting ready to be on the verge of suicide. i really didn't think there was much to live for. i'd saved my siblings and i was done.
but no no no. no . and no. NO. im getting ready to plan out my life with the guy that i've loved for the last year. well, not really a year. but. at least a good seven months. and now the only thing in our way is distance, and im sure we can somehow work around that. and PROM. and COURTWARMING. fifty miles away isn't gonna be easy. especially to convince my parents. somehow though. i'll do it. i pull straight a's . ill be there for him. he'll go to college next year, graduating this year. i'll go to college once he's graduated. gah. life plans already formulating in my head.
but how many years does he wanna go to college? and how many years do i wanna go to college? he said he wanted to miss out on college player crap. so, just how are we gonna do this? im a sophomore, he's a senior. he graduates in 2005, me in 2007. and. and. and. college. and life. and marrige? of course. there WILL be marrige. because...we're us. there has to be marrige.
im setting myself up again but i don't care. at all. because he's him and i've waited forever for this chance, to prove that im more than an ignorant ditzy slut, which is what i acted like the first time i met him. randomly making out in the bathroom. he wasn't being his emotional self then. of course neither was i. just teenage shit. but gah. we can do so much better. we're planning. not rushing. but planning. rushing is bad. rushing kills relationships. and how the hell is it nine o eight? damn. he's not getting online. oh well
i may sound obsessive, but my obsession is shared.
"as much as we scream"i don't need society" here's reality, i need you and you need me"
-amanda
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